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Emotions

How to handle grief of losing someone dear?

Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance...

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... of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.

Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that...

show more...
... grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.

September 12, 2020

2:39

Detachment is not a solution to avoid suffering

Transcript: See, this attachment, detachment business is a misunderstanding that's come out of the Gita in this country. People misunderstood Krishna like nothing. In the sense, people think Krishna is talking about detachment. Please look at his life. His life is involvement, isn't it? If you look at the scape of whatever we know about his life, whatever little we know about his life, his life spells involvement,...

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... involvement, involvement with everything around him. So this person, unfortunately, is being accused of detachment. See, if there is no involvement, there is no life. You can only know life with involvement. Even if the meal that you eat today, if you're not involved you will not know what it is. Without involvement, you cannot even taste life. Not possible. People are talking about detachment because of fear of suffering. Fear of suffering has come because when they involve, they get entangled. They do not know how to get involved, they just get entangled. Entaglement is happening because your involvement is very discriminatory. Is that sync again? So I should be equally involved in everything, is that what you're saying? I mean. Tell me, if you're less involved in your breath, and more involved in your eating, you think life will work? See, breath is involuntary, that's what, that's why I'm using the word breath. Because it's involuntary, you don't have to do anything, it's just happening. But we're involved by keeping that air conditioning on, otherwise we'll suffocate. This is our involvement, we turned on that machine. We may not be consciously breathing, alright? But we are involved. Without involvement, in every aspect of life, you will get skewed. And that is when psychologically you get messed up so much, that in many ways mind gets deranged. Seeing this, somebody said you're too attached, you must be detached. No. Detachment will not work either. Can you be detached and do something well? Can you do something well being detached about it? No. You need absolute involvement. If you have an indiscriminate sense of involvement, you will see, there is no entanglement in your involvement. If you discriminate, you'll get entangled. The problem is of discrimination. Not of involvement.

Transcript: See, this attachment, detachment business is a misunderstanding that's come out of the Gita in this country....

show more...
... People misunderstood Krishna like nothing. In the sense, people think Krishna is talking about detachment. Please look at his life. His life is involvement, isn't it? If you look at the scape of whatever we know about his life, whatever little we know about his life, his life spells involvement, involvement, involvement with everything around him. So this person, unfortunately, is being accused of detachment. See, if there is no involvement, there is no life. You can only know life with involvement. Even if the meal that you eat today, if you're not involved you will not know what it is. Without involvement, you cannot even taste life. Not possible. People are talking about detachment because of fear of suffering. Fear of suffering has come because when they involve, they get entangled. They do not know how to get involved, they just get entangled. Entaglement is happening because your involvement is very discriminatory. Is that sync again? So I should be equally involved in everything, is that what you're saying? I mean. Tell me, if you're less involved in your breath, and more involved in your eating, you think life will work? See, breath is involuntary, that's what, that's why I'm using the word breath. Because it's involuntary, you don't have to do anything, it's just happening. But we're involved by keeping that air conditioning on, otherwise we'll suffocate. This is our involvement, we turned on that machine. We may not be consciously breathing, alright? But we are involved. Without involvement, in every aspect of life, you will get skewed. And that is when psychologically you get messed up so much, that in many ways mind gets deranged. Seeing this, somebody said you're too attached, you must be detached. No. Detachment will not work either. Can you be detached and do something well? Can you do something well being detached about it? No. You need absolute involvement. If you have an indiscriminate sense of involvement, you will see, there is no entanglement in your involvement. If you discriminate, you'll get entangled. The problem is of discrimination. Not of involvement.

August 5, 2020

3:03

How Shiva Overcame Kama (The God of Lust)

Synopsis: Sadhguru tells us about the God of kama, or the God of lust. He narrates the story of how shiva overcame lust. He tells two versions of the story, one general, told to people, and the other version, as told in the yogic culture. He tells us the basis of lust within us.

Synopsis: Sadhguru tells us about the God of kama, or the God of lust. He narrates the story of how shiva overcame...

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... lust. He tells two versions of the story, one general, told to people, and the other version, as told in the yogic culture. He tells us the basis of lust within us.

January 27, 2020

4:00

Should Sex and Violence be banned in movies?

Synopsis: Is it Ok for movies / TV shows to show content which is extremely violent or sexual in nature? What should parents do to protect their children? Should governments clamp down and enforce a ban on such content? What is a society's role in all this? Sadhguru answers this question in a Q&A session during Conversation with Nani - a famous South Indian actor

Synopsis: Is it Ok for movies / TV shows to show content which is extremely violent or sexual in nature? What should...

show more...
... parents do to protect their children? Should governments clamp down and enforce a ban on such content? What is a society's role in all this? Sadhguru answers this question in a Q&A session during Conversation with Nani - a famous South Indian actor

October 11, 2019

10:34

Is It Natural To Be Jealous?

Synopsis: If your way of being is determined by how others are - then the only way you can be is 'a mess'. If you don't take charge of yourself, very easily you can fall back in the evolutionary scheme of things. Sadhguru says - don't be in a self defeating mode. Life is about you, not about someone else. If your joy, your happiness, your misery is determined by someone else, then chances of you being joyful...

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... in your life is remote.

Synopsis: If your way of being is determined by how others are - then the only way you can be is 'a mess'. If you...

show more...
... don't take charge of yourself, very easily you can fall back in the evolutionary scheme of things. Sadhguru says - don't be in a self defeating mode. Life is about you, not about someone else. If your joy, your happiness, your misery is determined by someone else, then chances of you being joyful in your life is remote.

December 17, 2018

7:06

Is It Sinful To Have Sex?

What is "immoral"? Sex is a natural drive, it is natures way to ensure reproduction. Somewhere we are being made to feel guilty about our biology! So, we need to accept sexuality as an essential element of physical existence. At the same time, we need to understand that the role of sex in the life of a human though fine, is limited. Sadhguru says, once you find pleasures deeper than the mind, sexuality recedes in significance. What is needed is to cultivate a certain inner balance, so that sexuality finds its place - neither exaggerated, nor suppressed.

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September 25, 2018

3 min read

Sonakshi Sinha – I’m very emotional! How to Handle Situations?

Sonakshi Sinha asks: Dearest Sadhguru ji, I’m a very emotional person, and I often find it very difficult to emotionally detach myself from a situation that I know is not good for me. I can see this is not going somewhere where I want it to go, but it is very difficult to divert my mind and my emotions away from that. I’ll keep thinking about it and dwelling on it, which is something that I don’t want to do. How do you think I can handle that situation?

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August 31, 2018

4 min read

Mithali Raj – People’s Opinions Bother Me – What to Do?

Mithali Raj: Namaskaram Sadhguru ji, I want to know the truth about where and how we can acquire the strength to ignore opinions popping against us every day. Sadhguru tells us that others opinions matter to us only when we lack clarity. When we live in a society, people will always express their opinions. Now, because of technology, when everyone is expressing themselves on social media - it is no longer that you have to deal with just 4 or 5 opinions, but millions of them!

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August 28, 2018

2 min read

How Do I Get Rid of My Emotions?

Emotions are what makes us human! But, just as without thoughts - if they become uncontrolled, it will become madness; if your emotions become uncontrolled, that too is insanity. Emotions are an issue only of you have painful emotions; if you have pleasant emotions why would you want to get rid of them! Without emotions you will become dry. You can also use your emotions as a doorway, to transcend - this is the path of Bhakti Yoga.

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April 12, 2018

3 min read

I am Jealous – How Do I Get Rid of It?

If every moment of your life you are joyful, will you ever be jealous? Jealousy is a consequence of you feeling incomplete about yourself. So, don't try to get rid of jealousy - just work towards making the experience of your life joyful and complete. All the negative emotions that happen within you - anger, hatred, jealousy - they are happening with so much intensity. Now, you can use this intensity, all this filth and turn this for your wellbeing. With the necessary awareness, you can use this intensity and make your experience of life joyful and complete.

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March 23, 2018

5 min read

How To Deal When Someone Lets You Down?

It is important to understand that whatever relationships you have formed in life, are to fulfill your needs - physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social. If you keep this in mind, you will always approach the relationship with a certain humility. Relationships don't go on by themselves, they need to be continuously managed. You must be sweet by your own nature. If you constantly need support of the other person, after some time, they will get tired and run away, and you will feel as if they have let you down.

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August 17, 2017

3 min read

How To Deal With My Mother-in-Law

Sadhguru says, the identity of a mother or a wife came later, first they were a woman. Sadhguru says - "There is an instinctive rejection or resistance to the new woman coming into the house because you are now required to share someone who belonged to you in an unequal proportion – not even in equal proportions". Though, there is some biological basis to this protective behavior, if one is mature and aware, they can grow out of it.

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April 13, 2017

3 min read

Should I Listen To My Head or My Heart?

Sadhguru says - "In yoga, the fundamental basis we establish is this: you are one person, a single, unified being. There is no separation of head and heart; you are one whole". He breaks the head versus heart myth, and explains that they are different manifestations of the same source. He says - "Thought and feeling are not different. One is dry. Another is juicy. Enjoy both."

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December 30, 2016

4 min read

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