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Emotions

How to unlearn? | Sadhguru in Conversation with India’s BSF Officers | #12

Synopsis: Guruji, how to unlearn? I mean, we have several reactions at our inner level, which are required to be unlearned. Like, when I go home from my office, or from the border, my family members come to know if my day was bad or good. At inner level, how to unlearn reactions?  

Synopsis: Guruji, how to unlearn? I mean, we have several reactions at our inner...

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... level, which are required to be unlearned. Like, when I go home from my office, or from the border, my family members come to know if my day was bad or good. At inner level, how to unlearn reactions?  

April 17, 2021

4:23

How to cope with negativity around you? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Matthew Hayden | #13

Synopsis: Sometimes, we’re in a situation where we’re surrounded by people who have a very high expectation of us. And when you can’t fulfil their expectation, you start feeling a very terrible feeling of guilt. And, it’s okay when it’s your mother-in-law, I’m kind of cool with that. But, sometimes it’s your parents, for example. Sometimes it’s the people who are...

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... very close to you, like your parents, and you can’t really fulfil their expectation because you would like to do, in your life, what you want to do. And obviously it’s not what they want. And, how to cope with that feeling of guilt? And also, what do you think the kind of relationship should be between the parents and the children?   

Synopsis: Sometimes, we’re in a situation where we’re surrounded by people...

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... who have a very high expectation of us. And when you can’t fulfil their expectation, you start feeling a very terrible feeling of guilt. And, it’s okay when it’s your mother-in-law, I’m kind of cool with that. But, sometimes it’s your parents, for example. Sometimes it’s the people who are very close to you, like your parents, and you can’t really fulfil their expectation because you would like to do, in your life, what you want to do. And obviously it’s not what they want. And, how to cope with that feeling of guilt? And also, what do you think the kind of relationship should be between the parents and the children?   

January 2, 2021

8:46

How to think positively? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Matthew Hayden | #12

Synopsis: How do you think positively in circumstances or, you know, external factors that are very negative?  

Synopsis: How do you think positively in circumstances or, you know, external factors...

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... that are very negative?  

January 2, 2021

10:07

Should happiness be given more importance than any other emotion? | Sadhguru at Christ University | #15

Synopsis: ...

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...You were talking about how important happiness is. And to be happy, so much so, that you can’t sleep. But I believe that emotions like sadness, grief, guilt, anger are beacons of our values. Should I push these emotions away or should I try to learn from them and enjoy the experience of life? Because life is all about ups and downs, and it’s not just about the ups.   

Synopsis: You were talking about how important happiness is. And to be happy, so...

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... much so, that you can’t sleep. But I believe that emotions like sadness, grief, guilt, anger are beacons of our values. Should I push these emotions away or should I try to learn from them and enjoy the experience of life? Because life is all about ups and downs, and it’s not just about the ups.   

January 1, 2021

5:00

How to build self-esteem? | Sadhguru at Christ University | #2

Synopsis: I often find myself in a situation where I’m not happy with myself. I compare my abilities, achievements, and even my appearance, with that of others. Also, I think since I’m a humanities student, people around me constantly compare me with my other friends who have taken up medicine or engineering. And that really puts me off. And I think that’s one reason for...

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... my low self esteem. How do you think I can build up on my self esteem and get rid of the self hatred that I have?

Synopsis: I often find myself in a situation where I’m not happy with myself....

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... I compare my abilities, achievements, and even my appearance, with that of others. Also, I think since I’m a humanities student, people around me constantly compare me with my other friends who have taken up medicine or engineering. And that really puts me off. And I think that’s one reason for my low self esteem. How do you think I can build up on my self esteem and get rid of the self hatred that I have?

January 1, 2021

13:36

How can we change the sense of pride to a sense of shame? | Sadhguru at Harvard University | #5

Synopsis: I personally feel, Sadhguru, that there’s this phenomenon of castration anxiety in India. Castration anxiety, something related to male ego. We see that this male ego has been somewhere hidden behind rapes that happen, sexual harassment that happens. A lot of gender disparity. I wouldn’t say this is the only reason, but somewhere hidden behind. And we never address...

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... it upfront. And all of these acts are acts of shame. But there is a sense of pride associated with it. How can we change the sense of pride to a sense of shame?

Synopsis: I personally feel, Sadhguru, that there’s this phenomenon of castration...

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... anxiety in India. Castration anxiety, something related to male ego. We see that this male ego has been somewhere hidden behind rapes that happen, sexual harassment that happens. A lot of gender disparity. I wouldn’t say this is the only reason, but somewhere hidden behind. And we never address it upfront. And all of these acts are acts of shame. But there is a sense of pride associated with it. How can we change the sense of pride to a sense of shame?

December 31, 2020

8:01

How to handle an irritating spouse?

Transcript: This question is from Deepika. Sadhguru you said in one of the darshan that you are, you should treat everyone just as you treat me. Sadhguru you are a Karuna-avatar, but I have one inhuman, nasty creature in my home. It becomes difficult to see you in him. How to deal with him in this situation? In how many years of marriage does this evolution happen? Or it's a devolution. I'm sure he was a wonderful,...

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... romantic wonderful man at one time. I don't know in how many years of marriage does he become a nasty creature. And how much role you have in making of a nasty creature. See, especially if he is nasty creature, especially, if it is so, this is your perception. But, especially if somebody is a nasty creature in your home or in your office or wherever you are. You seeing something in a certain way, is not about them. It's about you. Do you want to keep your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body pleasant or unpleasant? You make up your mind on that one. Now if you look at him, I said even that nasty creature, please look at him it's like me. I am not telling you that you have to listen to his teaching or take new practices from him. No. I am saying, if you have looked at me with a certain sense of reverence, devotion, love, affection, whatever is your emotion. If you have, please see everything with that because all I'm saying is, you have a body, you have a mind, you have emotion, energy. We're talking about your emotion right now. If you hit a certain level of sweetness of emotion at one point in your life, either because of your love or devotion or compassion of whatever, you hit a certain level of sweetness, this is the high point in your life. Now you should not come back from that, you must see how to go beyond that. I am saying, whatever was the highest or the sweetest or the most wonderful emotion, you have, make that the baseline. Why are you coming back again? If you did not know such an emotion, then what would I tell you, which is the sweetest emotion you had in your life? My child. Okay see, everybody as your child, we've told you that at one time. Then I saw you sat here with tears of blissfulness and love coming out of you, then I said see everybody as you're looking at me right now. Because this will make your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body, and your very being sweet and wonderful. This is not about him. Especially if he is being difficult, then you are being well trained, even if you go to hell you will do well.

Transcript: This question is from Deepika. Sadhguru you said in one of the darshan that you are, you should treat...

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... everyone just as you treat me. Sadhguru you are a Karuna-avatar, but I have one inhuman, nasty creature in my home. It becomes difficult to see you in him. How to deal with him in this situation? In how many years of marriage does this evolution happen? Or it's a devolution. I'm sure he was a wonderful, romantic wonderful man at one time. I don't know in how many years of marriage does he become a nasty creature. And how much role you have in making of a nasty creature. See, especially if he is nasty creature, especially, if it is so, this is your perception. But, especially if somebody is a nasty creature in your home or in your office or wherever you are. You seeing something in a certain way, is not about them. It's about you. Do you want to keep your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body pleasant or unpleasant? You make up your mind on that one. Now if you look at him, I said even that nasty creature, please look at him it's like me. I am not telling you that you have to listen to his teaching or take new practices from him. No. I am saying, if you have looked at me with a certain sense of reverence, devotion, love, affection, whatever is your emotion. If you have, please see everything with that because all I'm saying is, you have a body, you have a mind, you have emotion, energy. We're talking about your emotion right now. If you hit a certain level of sweetness of emotion at one point in your life, either because of your love or devotion or compassion of whatever, you hit a certain level of sweetness, this is the high point in your life. Now you should not come back from that, you must see how to go beyond that. I am saying, whatever was the highest or the sweetest or the most wonderful emotion, you have, make that the baseline. Why are you coming back again? If you did not know such an emotion, then what would I tell you, which is the sweetest emotion you had in your life? My child. Okay see, everybody as your child, we've told you that at one time. Then I saw you sat here with tears of blissfulness and love coming out of you, then I said see everybody as you're looking at me right now. Because this will make your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body, and your very being sweet and wonderful. This is not about him. Especially if he is being difficult, then you are being well trained, even if you go to hell you will do well.

October 28, 2020

3:59

How to handle grief of losing someone dear?

Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance...

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... of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.

Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that...

show more...
... grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.

September 12, 2020

2:39

How can we heal ourselves from our past pain? | Sadhguru at University of Toronto | #1

Synopsis: Nobody goes through life unscarred. Everybody has had a past experience with a person or a situation that left a permanent scar on them. Such that, whenever we are reminded of this, the sadness, or loneliness, or pain associated with the memory comes back regardless of how much time has passed. Is there truly a way for us to move on from things that have hurt us in the...

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... past, such that they have no substantial emotional effects on us? And, if not, how can we heal ourselves from this past pain? 

Synopsis: Nobody goes through life unscarred. Everybody has had a past experience...

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... with a person or a situation that left a permanent scar on them. Such that, whenever we are reminded of this, the sadness, or loneliness, or pain associated with the memory comes back regardless of how much time has passed. Is there truly a way for us to move on from things that have hurt us in the past, such that they have no substantial emotional effects on us? And, if not, how can we heal ourselves from this past pain? 

August 26, 2020

8:45

How do we learn to see the bigger picture when we fail at something? | Sadhguru at University of Toronto | #6

Synopsis: When we’re all in this journey of life, we tend to set a lot of short-term goals. And when we don’t achieve them, we don’t know how to deal with failure. And that is something we deal with a lot at UofT in specific. But, in that moment when we can look back and say, ya this is fine. But in that moment, how do we hold our ground and how do we learn to see the bigger...

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... picture? 

Synopsis: When we’re all in this journey of life, we tend to set a lot of short-term...

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... goals. And when we don’t achieve them, we don’t know how to deal with failure. And that is something we deal with a lot at UofT in specific. But, in that moment when we can look back and say, ya this is fine. But in that moment, how do we hold our ground and how do we learn to see the bigger picture? 

August 26, 2020

11:37

How do we maintain a balance between inter-personal promises and intra-personal promises? | Sadhguru at University of Toronto | #10

Synopsis: With respect to inter-personal promises and intra-personal promises, seeing that there are two types of promises that we make; to others and to ourselves. How do we balance both of those? Specially, considering, sometimes we have to keep the inter-personal promises at the cost of your intra-personal promises. 

Synopsis: With respect to inter-personal promises and intra-personal promises,...

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... seeing that there are two types of promises that we make; to others and to ourselves. How do we balance both of those? Specially, considering, sometimes we have to keep the inter-personal promises at the cost of your intra-personal promises. 

August 26, 2020

5:25

Detachment is not a solution to avoid suffering

Transcript: See, this attachment, detachment business is a misunderstanding that's come out of the Gita in this country. People misunderstood Krishna like nothing. In the sense, people think Krishna is talking about detachment. Please look at his life. His life is involvement, isn't it? If you look at the scape of whatever we know about his life, whatever little we know about his life, his life spells involvement,...

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... involvement, involvement with everything around him. So this person, unfortunately, is being accused of detachment. See, if there is no involvement, there is no life. You can only know life with involvement. Even if the meal that you eat today, if you're not involved you will not know what it is. Without involvement, you cannot even taste life. Not possible. People are talking about detachment because of fear of suffering. Fear of suffering has come because when they involve, they get entangled. They do not know how to get involved, they just get entangled. Entaglement is happening because your involvement is very discriminatory. Is that sync again? So I should be equally involved in everything, is that what you're saying? I mean. Tell me, if you're less involved in your breath, and more involved in your eating, you think life will work? See, breath is involuntary, that's what, that's why I'm using the word breath. Because it's involuntary, you don't have to do anything, it's just happening. But we're involved by keeping that air conditioning on, otherwise we'll suffocate. This is our involvement, we turned on that machine. We may not be consciously breathing, alright? But we are involved. Without involvement, in every aspect of life, you will get skewed. And that is when psychologically you get messed up so much, that in many ways mind gets deranged. Seeing this, somebody said you're too attached, you must be detached. No. Detachment will not work either. Can you be detached and do something well? Can you do something well being detached about it? No. You need absolute involvement. If you have an indiscriminate sense of involvement, you will see, there is no entanglement in your involvement. If you discriminate, you'll get entangled. The problem is of discrimination. Not of involvement.

Transcript: See, this attachment, detachment business is a misunderstanding that's come out of the Gita in this country....

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... People misunderstood Krishna like nothing. In the sense, people think Krishna is talking about detachment. Please look at his life. His life is involvement, isn't it? If you look at the scape of whatever we know about his life, whatever little we know about his life, his life spells involvement, involvement, involvement with everything around him. So this person, unfortunately, is being accused of detachment. See, if there is no involvement, there is no life. You can only know life with involvement. Even if the meal that you eat today, if you're not involved you will not know what it is. Without involvement, you cannot even taste life. Not possible. People are talking about detachment because of fear of suffering. Fear of suffering has come because when they involve, they get entangled. They do not know how to get involved, they just get entangled. Entaglement is happening because your involvement is very discriminatory. Is that sync again? So I should be equally involved in everything, is that what you're saying? I mean. Tell me, if you're less involved in your breath, and more involved in your eating, you think life will work? See, breath is involuntary, that's what, that's why I'm using the word breath. Because it's involuntary, you don't have to do anything, it's just happening. But we're involved by keeping that air conditioning on, otherwise we'll suffocate. This is our involvement, we turned on that machine. We may not be consciously breathing, alright? But we are involved. Without involvement, in every aspect of life, you will get skewed. And that is when psychologically you get messed up so much, that in many ways mind gets deranged. Seeing this, somebody said you're too attached, you must be detached. No. Detachment will not work either. Can you be detached and do something well? Can you do something well being detached about it? No. You need absolute involvement. If you have an indiscriminate sense of involvement, you will see, there is no entanglement in your involvement. If you discriminate, you'll get entangled. The problem is of discrimination. Not of involvement.

August 5, 2020

3:03

How Shiva Overcame Kama (The God of Lust)

Synopsis: Sadhguru tells us about the God of kama, or the God of lust. He narrates the story of how shiva overcame lust. He tells two versions of the story, one general, told to people, and the other version, as told in the yogic culture. He tells us the basis of lust within us.

Synopsis: Sadhguru tells us about the God of kama, or the God of lust. He narrates the story of how shiva overcame...

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... lust. He tells two versions of the story, one general, told to people, and the other version, as told in the yogic culture. He tells us the basis of lust within us.

January 27, 2020

4:00

Should Sex and Violence be banned in movies?

Synopsis: Is it Ok for movies / TV shows to show content which is extremely violent or sexual in nature? What should parents do to protect their children? Should governments clamp down and enforce a ban on such content? What is a society's role in all this? Sadhguru answers this question in a Q&A session during Conversation with Nani - a famous South Indian actor

Synopsis: Is it Ok for movies / TV shows to show content which is extremely violent or sexual in nature? What should...

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... parents do to protect their children? Should governments clamp down and enforce a ban on such content? What is a society's role in all this? Sadhguru answers this question in a Q&A session during Conversation with Nani - a famous South Indian actor

October 11, 2019

10:34

Is It Natural To Be Jealous?

Synopsis: If your way of being is determined by how others are - then the only way you can be is 'a mess'. If you don't take charge of yourself, very easily you can fall back in the evolutionary scheme of things. Sadhguru says - don't be in a self defeating mode. Life is about you, not about someone else. If your joy, your happiness, your misery is determined by someone else, then chances of you being joyful...

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... in your life is remote.

Synopsis: If your way of being is determined by how others are - then the only way you can be is 'a mess'. If you...

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... don't take charge of yourself, very easily you can fall back in the evolutionary scheme of things. Sadhguru says - don't be in a self defeating mode. Life is about you, not about someone else. If your joy, your happiness, your misery is determined by someone else, then chances of you being joyful in your life is remote.

December 17, 2018

7:06

How to Deal with the Death of a Loved one?

Sadhguru delves into the essential nature of grief. In response to a question, "Having recently lost a near and dear one, how does one cope with the grief and distress associated with it?", Sadhguru tells us that grief is about incompleteness. Grief can happen even without someone dying. But, when someone dies, it leaves a vacuum in your life. This feeling of incompleteness is the source of grief.

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August 26, 2020

10 min read

Is It Sinful To Have Sex?

What is "immoral"? Sex is a natural drive, it is natures way to ensure reproduction. Somewhere we are being made to feel guilty about our biology! So, we need to accept sexuality as an essential element of physical existence. At the same time, we need to understand that the role of sex in the life of a human though fine, is limited. Sadhguru says, once you find pleasures deeper than the mind, sexuality recedes in significance. What is needed is to cultivate a certain inner balance, so that sexuality finds its place - neither exaggerated, nor suppressed.

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September 25, 2018

3 min read

Sonakshi Sinha – I’m very emotional! How to Handle Situations?

Sonakshi Sinha asks: Dearest Sadhguru ji, I’m a very emotional person, and I often find it very difficult to emotionally detach myself from a situation that I know is not good for me. I can see this is not going somewhere where I want it to go, but it is very difficult to divert my mind and my emotions away from that. I’ll keep thinking about it and dwelling on it, which is something that I don’t want to do. How do you think I can handle that situation?

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August 31, 2018

4 min read

Mithali Raj – People’s Opinions Bother Me – What to Do?

Mithali Raj: Namaskaram Sadhguru ji, I want to know the truth about where and how we can acquire the strength to ignore opinions popping against us every day. Sadhguru tells us that others opinions matter to us only when we lack clarity. When we live in a society, people will always express their opinions. Now, because of technology, when everyone is expressing themselves on social media - it is no longer that you have to deal with just 4 or 5 opinions, but millions of them!

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August 28, 2018

2 min read

How Do I Get Rid of My Emotions?

Emotions are what makes us human! But, just as without thoughts - if they become uncontrolled, it will become madness; if your emotions become uncontrolled, that too is insanity. Emotions are an issue only of you have painful emotions; if you have pleasant emotions why would you want to get rid of them! Without emotions you will become dry. You can also use your emotions as a doorway, to transcend - this is the path of Bhakti Yoga.

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April 12, 2018

3 min read

I am Jealous – How Do I Get Rid of It?

If every moment of your life you are joyful, will you ever be jealous? Jealousy is a consequence of you feeling incomplete about yourself. So, don't try to get rid of jealousy - just work towards making the experience of your life joyful and complete. All the negative emotions that happen within you - anger, hatred, jealousy - they are happening with so much intensity. Now, you can use this intensity, all this filth and turn this for your wellbeing. With the necessary awareness, you can use this intensity and make your experience of life joyful and complete.

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March 23, 2018

5 min read

How To Deal When Someone Lets You Down?

It is important to understand that whatever relationships you have formed in life, are to fulfill your needs - physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social. If you keep this in mind, you will always approach the relationship with a certain humility. Relationships don't go on by themselves, they need to be continuously managed. You must be sweet by your own nature. If you constantly need support of the other person, after some time, they will get tired and run away, and you will feel as if they have let you down.

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August 17, 2017

3 min read

How To Deal With My Mother-in-Law

Sadhguru says, the identity of a mother or a wife came later, first they were a woman. Sadhguru says - "There is an instinctive rejection or resistance to the new woman coming into the house because you are now required to share someone who belonged to you in an unequal proportion – not even in equal proportions". Though, there is some biological basis to this protective behavior, if one is mature and aware, they can grow out of it.

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April 13, 2017

3 min read

Should I Listen To My Head or My Heart?

Sadhguru says - "In yoga, the fundamental basis we establish is this: you are one person, a single, unified being. There is no separation of head and heart; you are one whole". He breaks the head versus heart myth, and explains that they are different manifestations of the same source. He says - "Thought and feeling are not different. One is dry. Another is juicy. Enjoy both."

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December 30, 2016

4 min read

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