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Family

How to raise your child? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Karan Johar | #12

Synopsis: It’s integral for me to share that the last week that I spent reading about you and hearing everything that you had to say. So many people questioned you, including Juhi who’s in the house. It’s been exhilarating, it’s been enlightening. More than anything else, I think it gave me a certain sense of understanding about where I am. Being at a crossroad of my life,...

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... emotionally, and also now as a new-found parent. I read some of what you had to say about even parenting. To me it was extremely enlightening to read that not to nurture the do’s and don’ts so strongly on your child. We all have theories of parenting. But I think just what I imbibed from what you had to say is, if I’m strong-willed and I exude a certain amount of pleasantness and I give out the right amount of energy, my children will emulate that, imbibe that. And I don’t have to constantly force feed that knowledge on them. They will imbibe it from my energy source anyways. That is what I drew. Am I right?

Synopsis: It’s integral for me to share that the last week that I spent reading...

show more...
... about you and hearing everything that you had to say. So many people questioned you, including Juhi who’s in the house. It’s been exhilarating, it’s been enlightening. More than anything else, I think it gave me a certain sense of understanding about where I am. Being at a crossroad of my life, emotionally, and also now as a new-found parent. I read some of what you had to say about even parenting. To me it was extremely enlightening to read that not to nurture the do’s and don’ts so strongly on your child. We all have theories of parenting. But I think just what I imbibed from what you had to say is, if I’m strong-willed and I exude a certain amount of pleasantness and I give out the right amount of energy, my children will emulate that, imbibe that. And I don’t have to constantly force feed that knowledge on them. They will imbibe it from my energy source anyways. That is what I drew. Am I right?

April 25, 2021

13:01

Why do we direct our negative emotions towards our loved ones? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Karan Johar | #5

Synopsis: The people you love the most, you kind of tend to dump all your anxieties, your anger, your fears, your insecurities, all onto that one source that gives you the maximum love and the one that you love the most. Why is it that we, as a human race, tend to do that? Tend to lumber all our negative emotions on our most positive light source.

Synopsis: The people you love the most, you kind of tend to dump all your anxieties,...

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... your anger, your fears, your insecurities, all onto that one source that gives you the maximum love and the one that you love the most. Why is it that we, as a human race, tend to do that? Tend to lumber all our negative emotions on our most positive light source.

April 25, 2021

8:33

Why is there a distance between the father and the son? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Karan Johar | #4

Synopsis: Which is what you said, to draw from within. To find your solutions. Because the most exciting line that I read was that, you know, life can’t touch you, can’t scratch you. It can’t harm you. You create your own energy in your own life. You’re in this universe, you’ve been brought into this world and it’s in your control what you do with it. Life has nothing...

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... against you. What you achieve and what you do is a result of your own actions, your feelings, the pleasantness that you create within yourself. Which to me was a very moving line because it simplified a very extensive and expansive feeling of anxiety, fear, and all the turbulence that humanity goes through on a daily basis. To me, three pillars of our existence are family, fortune, and farishta, which is what I believe is a result of god, religion, everything else. When we talk about family Sadhguru, there are few things that have always intrigued me. And I seek answers, or rather, validation from a higher energy, such as yourself. It’s like, I’ve always questioned why there’s an organic distance between a father and son. Why there’s always that angst in that relationship. And I’m sure there are many in this house that have experienced that emotion in their own homes and their own environment. Where do you think the origin of that distance came?

Synopsis: Which is what you said, to draw from within. To find your solutions....

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... Because the most exciting line that I read was that, you know, life can’t touch you, can’t scratch you. It can’t harm you. You create your own energy in your own life. You’re in this universe, you’ve been brought into this world and it’s in your control what you do with it. Life has nothing against you. What you achieve and what you do is a result of your own actions, your feelings, the pleasantness that you create within yourself. Which to me was a very moving line because it simplified a very extensive and expansive feeling of anxiety, fear, and all the turbulence that humanity goes through on a daily basis. To me, three pillars of our existence are family, fortune, and farishta, which is what I believe is a result of god, religion, everything else. When we talk about family Sadhguru, there are few things that have always intrigued me. And I seek answers, or rather, validation from a higher energy, such as yourself. It’s like, I’ve always questioned why there’s an organic distance between a father and son. Why there’s always that angst in that relationship. And I’m sure there are many in this house that have experienced that emotion in their own homes and their own environment. Where do you think the origin of that distance came?

April 25, 2021

8:02

What every parent must do for their child

Transcript: Q. Sadhguru, I am a mother of a girl child. What is my responsibility as a mother? Actually, I don't know. Sadhguru: Your mother of a what child? Q. Girl child. Sadhguru: Only your neighbor should see whether your daughter or your child is a girl or a boy. You should never see whether this is a girl or a boy. That's the best...

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... thing. Neighborhood boys will see that this is a girl, that's okay. You should not be wondering whether this is a boy or a girl, this is just a child. And the best thing you can do for your child is, if you think the way you are is everything, naturally your aspiration will be they should become like you. Which will be a backward step for next generation of people. What the next generation should be? What you cannot imagine, that's what they should be. If you mould them, how will you mould them? Like yourself? Don't try to mould them. Just, a child needs a stable, pleasant atmosphere to grow. To create a joyful, I'm saying, first joyful. First joyful then loving, do you understand? Otherwise this is just bloody sappy love without any joy and bliss around. It will make people miserable over a period of time. First joyful atmosphere. If you're capable of holding it, then you can add a little bit of your love to it. Children will need your love and attention till they're 5, 6, 7 after that they want to distance themselves, they want to become their own thing. And it's fine. You just, your only business is to keep them in a very joyful and loving incubator. Of course there will be somebody else on the street who will be trying to do something else with them. Those influences are always there, you should not protect them entirely from those things because someday they have to get out. But your business is not to mould them. One thing your child should not become is, they should not become like you. They should become something more than you, what you are, isn't it? Your idea of something more is they must earn more than you, they must have a bigger car, bigger house. This is unfortunate. If you are this joyful, they should become more joyful than you. If you are this intelligent, they should become more intelligent than you. If you're this balanced, they must be far more balanced than you. Yes? If your life is this rich, their life must be much richer. Richness not, the richness of your child's life or your life for that matter, should never never be a contribution from what you have. What you have gathered should never enhance your life. Please get this for yourself and your child. Who you are is who you are. What you have is, to what extent they're useful to us, we'll have those things, everything. But they should not enhance who you are. Who you are should happen from within you. If your child grows into this, whatever he or she becomes, it's fine. They need not be like you. Once you don't have this problem, that they don't have to be like you, then you will see it's such a joy and freedom to raise your child.

Transcript: Q. Sadhguru, I am a mother of a girl child. What is my responsibility as a mother? Actually,...

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... I don't know. Sadhguru: Your mother of a what child? Q. Girl child. Sadhguru: Only your neighbor should see whether your daughter or your child is a girl or a boy. You should never see whether this is a girl or a boy. That's the best thing. Neighborhood boys will see that this is a girl, that's okay. You should not be wondering whether this is a boy or a girl, this is just a child. And the best thing you can do for your child is, if you think the way you are is everything, naturally your aspiration will be they should become like you. Which will be a backward step for next generation of people. What the next generation should be? What you cannot imagine, that's what they should be. If you mould them, how will you mould them? Like yourself? Don't try to mould them. Just, a child needs a stable, pleasant atmosphere to grow. To create a joyful, I'm saying, first joyful. First joyful then loving, do you understand? Otherwise this is just bloody sappy love without any joy and bliss around. It will make people miserable over a period of time. First joyful atmosphere. If you're capable of holding it, then you can add a little bit of your love to it. Children will need your love and attention till they're 5, 6, 7 after that they want to distance themselves, they want to become their own thing. And it's fine. You just, your only business is to keep them in a very joyful and loving incubator. Of course there will be somebody else on the street who will be trying to do something else with them. Those influences are always there, you should not protect them entirely from those things because someday they have to get out. But your business is not to mould them. One thing your child should not become is, they should not become like you. They should become something more than you, what you are, isn't it? Your idea of something more is they must earn more than you, they must have a bigger car, bigger house. This is unfortunate. If you are this joyful, they should become more joyful than you. If you are this intelligent, they should become more intelligent than you. If you're this balanced, they must be far more balanced than you. Yes? If your life is this rich, their life must be much richer. Richness not, the richness of your child's life or your life for that matter, should never never be a contribution from what you have. What you have gathered should never enhance your life. Please get this for yourself and your child. Who you are is who you are. What you have is, to what extent they're useful to us, we'll have those things, everything. But they should not enhance who you are. Who you are should happen from within you. If your child grows into this, whatever he or she becomes, it's fine. They need not be like you. Once you don't have this problem, that they don't have to be like you, then you will see it's such a joy and freedom to raise your child.

April 22, 2021

3:52

How should healthcare professionals deal with giving bad news to families? | Sadhguru at Yale School of Medicine | #2

Synopsis: So let’s talk about making soup. So this soup of life, if you will. You know, tonight, there is a nurse, or a physician, who has come home. And they told a family member that their loved one just died. Or they treated a child who’s undergoing chemotherapy. Or they’re in a clinic where they’re taking care of someone who doesn’t have enough insurance to cover...

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... that medication. And so those good folks have come home and their spirits are broken. And they love what they do. I think burned out physicians love what they do. And I like that metaphor of soup. What can we do? What can that nurse, that physician assistant, that doctor. Saturday morning comes around, they wake up, what should they do?  

Synopsis: So let’s talk about making soup. So this soup of life, if you will....

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... You know, tonight, there is a nurse, or a physician, who has come home. And they told a family member that their loved one just died. Or they treated a child who’s undergoing chemotherapy. Or they’re in a clinic where they’re taking care of someone who doesn’t have enough insurance to cover that medication. And so those good folks have come home and their spirits are broken. And they love what they do. I think burned out physicians love what they do. And I like that metaphor of soup. What can we do? What can that nurse, that physician assistant, that doctor. Saturday morning comes around, they wake up, what should they do?  

April 19, 2021

10:12

How to have a balance between the commitment to the borders and to the family? | Sadhguru in Conversation with India’s BSF Officers | #2

Synopsis: How to have a balance between extreme conditions and family? How to have a balance between the commitment to the borders and the commitment to the family? How do we deal with all this stress?  

Synopsis: How to have a balance between extreme conditions and family? How to have...

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... a balance between the commitment to the borders and the commitment to the family? How do we deal with all this stress?  

April 17, 2021

8:19

How to protect my children? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Julie Gichuru | #12

Synopsis: You said something that is very interesting. You said that it’s our responsibility to make the generation after us a bit better. And for me, as a young mother, it’s quite a concern. And I would like to ask you, Sadhguru, if you have three tips to give me, as a mum, on how to protect my children from disconnections of themselves, while living in society. What would...

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... it be?  

Synopsis: You said something that is very interesting. You said that it’s our...

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... responsibility to make the generation after us a bit better. And for me, as a young mother, it’s quite a concern. And I would like to ask you, Sadhguru, if you have three tips to give me, as a mum, on how to protect my children from disconnections of themselves, while living in society. What would it be?  

April 17, 2021

11:30

How to balance work and family? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Julie Gichuru | #11

Synopsis: In the beginning of the discussion, you stated that we are so busy in doing things that don’t matter. Actually, it should not matter. And we forget to enjoy life. Now when I look at myself. It has been almost 15 years, or a little more in this profession. And we, as professionals, probably say for example, I’m into the FMCG sector, and I'm creating a brand. To create...

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... how my product should look, I actually enjoy it. I enjoy the creativity in the product, in its distribution system, innovation that we bring into the business. And sometimes it takes more than 10 hours, or 12 hours, in a day. Now for somebody, including some members of my family, probably that’s something that should not matter. Or probably I’m in a mad rush. But no, I'm enjoying it. Now my dilemma is, where to draw a line?  

Synopsis: In the beginning of the discussion, you stated that we are so busy in...

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... doing things that don’t matter. Actually, it should not matter. And we forget to enjoy life. Now when I look at myself. It has been almost 15 years, or a little more in this profession. And we, as professionals, probably say for example, I’m into the FMCG sector, and I'm creating a brand. To create how my product should look, I actually enjoy it. I enjoy the creativity in the product, in its distribution system, innovation that we bring into the business. And sometimes it takes more than 10 hours, or 12 hours, in a day. Now for somebody, including some members of my family, probably that’s something that should not matter. Or probably I’m in a mad rush. But no, I'm enjoying it. Now my dilemma is, where to draw a line?  

April 17, 2021

7:26

What are the key things we need to teach this young generation? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Julie Gichuru | #4

Synopsis: And looking at the society we’re living in, and the children that we’re bringing up. It’s so dynamic. If they’re looking for positive information out there, they will find what they’re looking for. If they’re looking for negative information, they’ll find it. It’s easily accessible in this highly digital world we’re living in. What are the key things...

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... that you would say we need to teach this young generation and keep them firmly grounded?  

Synopsis: And looking at the society we’re living in, and the children that we’re...

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... bringing up. It’s so dynamic. If they’re looking for positive information out there, they will find what they’re looking for. If they’re looking for negative information, they’ll find it. It’s easily accessible in this highly digital world we’re living in. What are the key things that you would say we need to teach this young generation and keep them firmly grounded?  

April 17, 2021

8:29

The role of parenting in a child’s approach to life | Sadhguru in Conversation with Julie Gichuru | #3

Synopsis: My daughter is very close to her father. Do we have that in many families? Where the young lady can get anything from daddy, right? And my sons are very close to mommy. What happens in society that when they grow up, you would think that a man will always treasure and woman. And I think when families get it right, it doesn’t go wrong later. Where do we get it wrong?...

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... Because, clearly, in parenting, there’s something going wrong.  

Synopsis: My daughter is very close to her father. Do we have that in many families?...

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... Where the young lady can get anything from daddy, right? And my sons are very close to mommy. What happens in society that when they grow up, you would think that a man will always treasure and woman. And I think when families get it right, it doesn’t go wrong later. Where do we get it wrong? Because, clearly, in parenting, there’s something going wrong.  

April 17, 2021

4:07

How do we bring up young men who respect women? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Julie Gichuru | #2

Synopsis: Back to the family. Ladies and gentlemen, if you look at much of our societies, in Africa, in Asia, and all over the world. There is a struggle, and it brings us back to feminine and masculine, as in a gender. And we do see the prevalence of gender violence. Something that we are dealing with a lot. For instance, even fighting ills such as female genital mutilation and...

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... trying to re-educate people. It’s a huge issue. Within homes, how do we bring up young men who respect and love women? And how do we bring up young women who are confident and demand love and respect? How do we do that and bring a balance?  

Synopsis: Back to the family. Ladies and gentlemen, if you look at much of our...

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... societies, in Africa, in Asia, and all over the world. There is a struggle, and it brings us back to feminine and masculine, as in a gender. And we do see the prevalence of gender violence. Something that we are dealing with a lot. For instance, even fighting ills such as female genital mutilation and trying to re-educate people. It’s a huge issue. Within homes, how do we bring up young men who respect and love women? And how do we bring up young women who are confident and demand love and respect? How do we do that and bring a balance?  

April 17, 2021

5:33

Why is it that today many youngsters don’t want to get married? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #11

Synopsis: Today, many youngsters don’t want to marry. And few of them who marry, there are occasions where they are getting divorced. So, would you like to throw some light on this situation?  

Synopsis: Today, many youngsters don’t want to marry. And few of them who marry,...

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... there are occasions where they are getting divorced. So, would you like to throw some light on this situation?  

April 14, 2021

6:30

Do parents unduly worry about their children?

Transcript: Actually many parents in India, they have tension about their child. About fees, one lakh, two lack, how shall I pay this? Then I'll become a beggar. What shall I do? After that we think that how do they live happily because they have these many tensions about the child. How do they still have enjoyment in their life by having tention still for the kid? Some parents manage to forget about their children...

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... for some time. That gives them the respite. You are something. What's your name? Sanjana I want you to observe. Not just your parents, just observe people around you. Just watch them carefully. If you observe people, you will see, today we are creating a world. Toddler means they have you know, the napkin problems. Adolescent means they have puberty problems. Middle age means it's a crisis. Old age, terrible. Tell me one stage of life that people are enjoying. Those who are poor, suffering because they are poor. Those who are rich, they are suffering the taxes. Those who are not educated, they are suffering because they are not educated. Put them to school, enormous suffering. That's what they're saying, tension in the b-school. And those who are not married, they're suffering. Get them married. See I did not say anything. They're saying it. No children, they're suffering. Give them children, constant suffering. Which you are saying. Tell me one damn thing that people are not suffering. So people are not stressed because they have children. They don't have children, they're continuously miserable. Children came, little bit spurts of joy, rest is only crying about it. So this is not because of children, this is not because of marriage, this is not because of b-school, this is not because of employment. This is simply because human beings have not figured how to handle themselves, that's all. Wherever you put them, something. You give them what you want, make them the king they are miserable there also. Yes? Yes or no? People have become, risen into very high positions still miserable or no? So this is not because of any situation, definitely not because of a wonderful girl like you. So don't blame yourself for anybody's suffering. They're like that, they're practiced you know. Just. Many have become veterans in suffering.

Transcript: Actually many parents in India, they have tension about their child. About fees, one lakh, two lack,...

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... how shall I pay this? Then I'll become a beggar. What shall I do? After that we think that how do they live happily because they have these many tensions about the child. How do they still have enjoyment in their life by having tention still for the kid? Some parents manage to forget about their children for some time. That gives them the respite. You are something. What's your name? Sanjana I want you to observe. Not just your parents, just observe people around you. Just watch them carefully. If you observe people, you will see, today we are creating a world. Toddler means they have you know, the napkin problems. Adolescent means they have puberty problems. Middle age means it's a crisis. Old age, terrible. Tell me one stage of life that people are enjoying. Those who are poor, suffering because they are poor. Those who are rich, they are suffering the taxes. Those who are not educated, they are suffering because they are not educated. Put them to school, enormous suffering. That's what they're saying, tension in the b-school. And those who are not married, they're suffering. Get them married. See I did not say anything. They're saying it. No children, they're suffering. Give them children, constant suffering. Which you are saying. Tell me one damn thing that people are not suffering. So people are not stressed because they have children. They don't have children, they're continuously miserable. Children came, little bit spurts of joy, rest is only crying about it. So this is not because of children, this is not because of marriage, this is not because of b-school, this is not because of employment. This is simply because human beings have not figured how to handle themselves, that's all. Wherever you put them, something. You give them what you want, make them the king they are miserable there also. Yes? Yes or no? People have become, risen into very high positions still miserable or no? So this is not because of any situation, definitely not because of a wonderful girl like you. So don't blame yourself for anybody's suffering. They're like that, they're practiced you know. Just. Many have become veterans in suffering.

March 26, 2021

3:53

How to deal with teenagers

Transcript: Now what's happening with the so called teenage is, you got used to your child as a helpless creature. Now if he's finding his own feet, you don't like it. You want to condense him. What you need is a toy or a doll to play with, or maybe a dog. A couple was struggling, not able to make a decision whether to have children or not. The debate between the husband and wife was, the husband wants to have...

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... children, the wife says it's not necessary, we can get a dog instead. Because they couldn't settle it, they went to a marriage counselor. So they said, we are not able to make up our mind whether to have children or to get a dog. What should we do? So marriage counselor said, this is very simple. You want to ruin your carpets or your life, you must decide. Children, when they come, when they're helpless and for everything they look up to you, you think your children are magical because they're helpless. Suppose the baby popped out of you and stood up and said, hey, who the hell are you? You won't like this baby. But he takes 14-15 years to ask that question. In fact that is all a teenager is asking. Okay, who the hell are you? So if you want to be somebody to that new fresh life which has come, you must not have defined boundaries of who you are. Like when the child was infant, when it crawled, you crawled with him. Now your teenager wants to swing, you must be able to swing with him. No, you still want to crawl with him. He's not interested. He's beginning to ask. Parents are looking ridiculous in the eyes of adolescence. Yes or no? Didn't your parents look ridiculous in your eyes? Unless you were old by the time you were 12. If you were young and energetic, your parents look ridiculous because they think still you need to be crawled around. Every day life is changing within you because you're growing rapidly. And the fools around you, not able to grasp that. So don't deal with your teenagers. Please make yourself available to be dealt by them. Make them responsible for everything.

Transcript: Now what's happening with the so called teenage is, you got used to your child as a helpless creature....

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... Now if he's finding his own feet, you don't like it. You want to condense him. What you need is a toy or a doll to play with, or maybe a dog. A couple was struggling, not able to make a decision whether to have children or not. The debate between the husband and wife was, the husband wants to have children, the wife says it's not necessary, we can get a dog instead. Because they couldn't settle it, they went to a marriage counselor. So they said, we are not able to make up our mind whether to have children or to get a dog. What should we do? So marriage counselor said, this is very simple. You want to ruin your carpets or your life, you must decide. Children, when they come, when they're helpless and for everything they look up to you, you think your children are magical because they're helpless. Suppose the baby popped out of you and stood up and said, hey, who the hell are you? You won't like this baby. But he takes 14-15 years to ask that question. In fact that is all a teenager is asking. Okay, who the hell are you? So if you want to be somebody to that new fresh life which has come, you must not have defined boundaries of who you are. Like when the child was infant, when it crawled, you crawled with him. Now your teenager wants to swing, you must be able to swing with him. No, you still want to crawl with him. He's not interested. He's beginning to ask. Parents are looking ridiculous in the eyes of adolescence. Yes or no? Didn't your parents look ridiculous in your eyes? Unless you were old by the time you were 12. If you were young and energetic, your parents look ridiculous because they think still you need to be crawled around. Every day life is changing within you because you're growing rapidly. And the fools around you, not able to grasp that. So don't deal with your teenagers. Please make yourself available to be dealt by them. Make them responsible for everything.

January 19, 2021

3:42

How to deal with a difficult partner

Transcript: If your concern is your spiritual growth only then if you have a demon for your partner that's the best thing. But your partner, your husband, wife is not just about spiritual growth you also want to have a pleasant life in the family then you have to choose. Someone who like, whom you like but little.... there is a.... any human being on the planet, there is something that you don't like about them....

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... isn't it so? So, you use that part of it, for your spiritual growth and the rest of it you enjoy. Just as life. So if your intention is to have a good family, then some rapport is needed between two people, otherwise it won't work. Especially if you have produced children, then rapport is must, otherwise you'll foul the new life that's come up. If you create a foul atmosphere you'll foul up the new life that is coming up. Nobody has any right to do that actually, but people are doing it. But no human being has any right, you can mess yourself up as much as you want, that's up to you. But you can't mess up a fresh life that's just coming up. So, if you're looking for good life, family life, then one has to find rapport and that rapport means, some areas of commonality at least. But if you're looking for spiritual life, it doesn't matter what kind of person he is. You can use everything for your growth, everything, for your growth. If that's all your focus is. But generally your focus is both ways you want to have a little bit of that and a little bit of this. So mixed fair, so it gets a little complex. So, to build a rapport takes effort, takes compromise, takes love, endurance, takes endurance you know. Somebody is constantly like this, you want to build a rapport with that person but you don't want to go his way, that takes lots of endurance. Yes or no? People whom you love are not easy. So, what can you do? One thing is to transform yourself in such a way, being in your presence unknowingly their cup will turn around..

Transcript: If your concern is your spiritual growth only then if you have a demon for your partner that's the best...

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... thing. But your partner, your husband, wife is not just about spiritual growth you also want to have a pleasant life in the family then you have to choose. Someone who like, whom you like but little.... there is a.... any human being on the planet, there is something that you don't like about them. isn't it so? So, you use that part of it, for your spiritual growth and the rest of it you enjoy. Just as life. So if your intention is to have a good family, then some rapport is needed between two people, otherwise it won't work. Especially if you have produced children, then rapport is must, otherwise you'll foul the new life that's come up. If you create a foul atmosphere you'll foul up the new life that is coming up. Nobody has any right to do that actually, but people are doing it. But no human being has any right, you can mess yourself up as much as you want, that's up to you. But you can't mess up a fresh life that's just coming up. So, if you're looking for good life, family life, then one has to find rapport and that rapport means, some areas of commonality at least. But if you're looking for spiritual life, it doesn't matter what kind of person he is. You can use everything for your growth, everything, for your growth. If that's all your focus is. But generally your focus is both ways you want to have a little bit of that and a little bit of this. So mixed fair, so it gets a little complex. So, to build a rapport takes effort, takes compromise, takes love, endurance, takes endurance you know. Somebody is constantly like this, you want to build a rapport with that person but you don't want to go his way, that takes lots of endurance. Yes or no? People whom you love are not easy. So, what can you do? One thing is to transform yourself in such a way, being in your presence unknowingly their cup will turn around..

January 13, 2021

3:52

How do we know what’s most important? | Sadhguru at Columbia University | #2

Synopsis: So, on the note of purpose, one thing that I think that I’m constantly chasing is, and I would say I don’t know when I’ve reached it, the pursuit of happiness. I think everyone in this room at some point, maybe now you’re asking yourself, or if you ask yourself like have you reached your pursuit of happiness in kind of understanding why it can be elusive? For...

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... me, happiness is, like I think of my family because they’re such a critical piece to my love and happiness. But oftentimes I feel like I lose sight of it. When I’m in this room, when I’m at Columbia Business School, when I’m at work. Because I’m trying to get to that next level, ultimately to help my family. But, how do we keep track of what’s most important? And that purpose for me being my family, and the pursuit of happiness.  

Synopsis: So, on the note of purpose, one thing that I think that I’m constantly...

show more...
... chasing is, and I would say I don’t know when I’ve reached it, the pursuit of happiness. I think everyone in this room at some point, maybe now you’re asking yourself, or if you ask yourself like have you reached your pursuit of happiness in kind of understanding why it can be elusive? For me, happiness is, like I think of my family because they’re such a critical piece to my love and happiness. But oftentimes I feel like I lose sight of it. When I’m in this room, when I’m at Columbia Business School, when I’m at work. Because I’m trying to get to that next level, ultimately to help my family. But, how do we keep track of what’s most important? And that purpose for me being my family, and the pursuit of happiness.  

January 7, 2021

11:08

How to handle an irritating spouse?

Transcript: This question is from Deepika. Sadhguru you said in one of the darshan that you are, you should treat everyone just as you treat me. Sadhguru you are a Karuna-avatar, but I have one inhuman, nasty creature in my home. It becomes difficult to see you in him. How to deal with him in this situation? In how many years of marriage does this evolution happen? Or it's a devolution. I'm sure he was a wonderful,...

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... romantic wonderful man at one time. I don't know in how many years of marriage does he become a nasty creature. And how much role you have in making of a nasty creature. See, especially if he is nasty creature, especially, if it is so, this is your perception. But, especially if somebody is a nasty creature in your home or in your office or wherever you are. You seeing something in a certain way, is not about them. It's about you. Do you want to keep your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body pleasant or unpleasant? You make up your mind on that one. Now if you look at him, I said even that nasty creature, please look at him it's like me. I am not telling you that you have to listen to his teaching or take new practices from him. No. I am saying, if you have looked at me with a certain sense of reverence, devotion, love, affection, whatever is your emotion. If you have, please see everything with that because all I'm saying is, you have a body, you have a mind, you have emotion, energy. We're talking about your emotion right now. If you hit a certain level of sweetness of emotion at one point in your life, either because of your love or devotion or compassion of whatever, you hit a certain level of sweetness, this is the high point in your life. Now you should not come back from that, you must see how to go beyond that. I am saying, whatever was the highest or the sweetest or the most wonderful emotion, you have, make that the baseline. Why are you coming back again? If you did not know such an emotion, then what would I tell you, which is the sweetest emotion you had in your life? My child. Okay see, everybody as your child, we've told you that at one time. Then I saw you sat here with tears of blissfulness and love coming out of you, then I said see everybody as you're looking at me right now. Because this will make your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body, and your very being sweet and wonderful. This is not about him. Especially if he is being difficult, then you are being well trained, even if you go to hell you will do well.

Transcript: This question is from Deepika. Sadhguru you said in one of the darshan that you are, you should treat...

show more...
... everyone just as you treat me. Sadhguru you are a Karuna-avatar, but I have one inhuman, nasty creature in my home. It becomes difficult to see you in him. How to deal with him in this situation? In how many years of marriage does this evolution happen? Or it's a devolution. I'm sure he was a wonderful, romantic wonderful man at one time. I don't know in how many years of marriage does he become a nasty creature. And how much role you have in making of a nasty creature. See, especially if he is nasty creature, especially, if it is so, this is your perception. But, especially if somebody is a nasty creature in your home or in your office or wherever you are. You seeing something in a certain way, is not about them. It's about you. Do you want to keep your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body pleasant or unpleasant? You make up your mind on that one. Now if you look at him, I said even that nasty creature, please look at him it's like me. I am not telling you that you have to listen to his teaching or take new practices from him. No. I am saying, if you have looked at me with a certain sense of reverence, devotion, love, affection, whatever is your emotion. If you have, please see everything with that because all I'm saying is, you have a body, you have a mind, you have emotion, energy. We're talking about your emotion right now. If you hit a certain level of sweetness of emotion at one point in your life, either because of your love or devotion or compassion of whatever, you hit a certain level of sweetness, this is the high point in your life. Now you should not come back from that, you must see how to go beyond that. I am saying, whatever was the highest or the sweetest or the most wonderful emotion, you have, make that the baseline. Why are you coming back again? If you did not know such an emotion, then what would I tell you, which is the sweetest emotion you had in your life? My child. Okay see, everybody as your child, we've told you that at one time. Then I saw you sat here with tears of blissfulness and love coming out of you, then I said see everybody as you're looking at me right now. Because this will make your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body, and your very being sweet and wonderful. This is not about him. Especially if he is being difficult, then you are being well trained, even if you go to hell you will do well.

October 28, 2020

3:59

How to become a good parent?

Transcript: Fundamentally we must understand, life needs nurture, atmosphere. Not fixing. Nothing to be fixed about it. It just needs an atmosphere where it will flourish best. What grows in Southern California will not grow in Minnesota, isn't it? That kind of life needs that kind of atmosphere, that kind of nurture. Only then it'll happen. So this is something that we have to pay attention to. There is no involvement....

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... We want everything ready-made, we are looking at a ready-made solution. There's no ready-made solution to life. Life can only happen with enormouse involvement. There's simply no other way to do it. Where there is no involvement, there is no experience of life. Isn't it? Hello? Whether it's a simple food that you eat, or something that you look at, or who you live with, or what you do, or at the highest level whatever you'll do in your life. Without involvement, there is no life. But right now, modern societies are trying to do life with information, not with involvement. This is a big mistake. You have no information about your child. You can go to all the variety of doctors and get all their ideas about what your child is. All they will tell you is that he is sick in a hundred different ways. Okay? No, you don't need any information about your child, you need involvement. With involvement, you will bring that life to its best. It need not be as good as somebody else, or as bad as somebody else, because it's a unique life. Is there one life like another? It's a unique life. But, right from day 1 we are comparing it to another life and trying to make it like that one. This is a very cruel process for the child. The child never understands what the hell the parents want. I never understood. Nobody ever explained to me, why the hell I should go to school. So I never went. Because nobody explained to me why I have to go to school. They said, no no, you have to go to school. Why? I'm doing fine. Why should I go to school? No, because we think information is going to transform us. No. Information facilitates a few things. But it's involvement which transforms us, isn't it? Absolute involvement in something, it doesn't matter what it is. Total involvement with something, suddenly you find that human being is of a different nature, isn't it? So, that's all it takes. Involvement.

Transcript: Fundamentally we must understand, life needs nurture, atmosphere. Not fixing. Nothing to be fixed about...

show more...
... it. It just needs an atmosphere where it will flourish best. What grows in Southern California will not grow in Minnesota, isn't it? That kind of life needs that kind of atmosphere, that kind of nurture. Only then it'll happen. So this is something that we have to pay attention to. There is no involvement. We want everything ready-made, we are looking at a ready-made solution. There's no ready-made solution to life. Life can only happen with enormouse involvement. There's simply no other way to do it. Where there is no involvement, there is no experience of life. Isn't it? Hello? Whether it's a simple food that you eat, or something that you look at, or who you live with, or what you do, or at the highest level whatever you'll do in your life. Without involvement, there is no life. But right now, modern societies are trying to do life with information, not with involvement. This is a big mistake. You have no information about your child. You can go to all the variety of doctors and get all their ideas about what your child is. All they will tell you is that he is sick in a hundred different ways. Okay? No, you don't need any information about your child, you need involvement. With involvement, you will bring that life to its best. It need not be as good as somebody else, or as bad as somebody else, because it's a unique life. Is there one life like another? It's a unique life. But, right from day 1 we are comparing it to another life and trying to make it like that one. This is a very cruel process for the child. The child never understands what the hell the parents want. I never understood. Nobody ever explained to me, why the hell I should go to school. So I never went. Because nobody explained to me why I have to go to school. They said, no no, you have to go to school. Why? I'm doing fine. Why should I go to school? No, because we think information is going to transform us. No. Information facilitates a few things. But it's involvement which transforms us, isn't it? Absolute involvement in something, it doesn't matter what it is. Total involvement with something, suddenly you find that human being is of a different nature, isn't it? So, that's all it takes. Involvement.

September 27, 2020

3:13

How to bring up your children

Transcript: We must understand this, a child is not an industrial product. A child is a life, a fresh life. You are supposed to nurture this life. It's not that you put it through some kind of an industrial process called a school. It's like an industry. Everybody is taught the same damn thing, everybody is supposed to go through the same thing. And come out the same way and find a job and serve something, somewhere....

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... This is not what human life is about. There is an innate genius in every human being. Do we have the patience and the commitment and the dedication to pay the necessary attention to bring that out in a specific human being? That's a big question. Otherwise, you will produce dumplings. All the same. Okay? So, once you have a child, before you have a child, you must understand. A child means a 20 year project, full on. That is if they do well. If they don't do well, it's a lifelong project. Because it's a life. One life may blossom at 12, another may blossom at 40. Do you have the patience to nurture that life? Or have you already set the thing, by the time you finish high school you must be in this university, that university, you must be doing this or that? It's all fixed up. Common prescription for all life. This is what we're doing, this is supposed to be civilization. This is not civilization, this is just escape from life. We want to escape the fundamental process of life. In tribal societies and other traditional societies, even today, nobody expects a man or a woman has to become like this at a certain time. Depending on each life, how they progress, everybody is valued for who they are. If you plant this chrysanthemum in your house, in three months it's full of flowers. If you plant an oak tree, 80 years, 10 years, nothing happens. So you want to chop it down? Hello? None of them would be. If you went by these standards, see this one, how well it is doing, in three months how many flowers. You fool you're doing nothing. This is not the way to handle life, isn't it? This is not an industrial product.

Transcript: We must understand this, a child is not an industrial product. A child is a life, a fresh life. You are...

show more...
... supposed to nurture this life. It's not that you put it through some kind of an industrial process called a school. It's like an industry. Everybody is taught the same damn thing, everybody is supposed to go through the same thing. And come out the same way and find a job and serve something, somewhere. This is not what human life is about. There is an innate genius in every human being. Do we have the patience and the commitment and the dedication to pay the necessary attention to bring that out in a specific human being? That's a big question. Otherwise, you will produce dumplings. All the same. Okay? So, once you have a child, before you have a child, you must understand. A child means a 20 year project, full on. That is if they do well. If they don't do well, it's a lifelong project. Because it's a life. One life may blossom at 12, another may blossom at 40. Do you have the patience to nurture that life? Or have you already set the thing, by the time you finish high school you must be in this university, that university, you must be doing this or that? It's all fixed up. Common prescription for all life. This is what we're doing, this is supposed to be civilization. This is not civilization, this is just escape from life. We want to escape the fundamental process of life. In tribal societies and other traditional societies, even today, nobody expects a man or a woman has to become like this at a certain time. Depending on each life, how they progress, everybody is valued for who they are. If you plant this chrysanthemum in your house, in three months it's full of flowers. If you plant an oak tree, 80 years, 10 years, nothing happens. So you want to chop it down? Hello? None of them would be. If you went by these standards, see this one, how well it is doing, in three months how many flowers. You fool you're doing nothing. This is not the way to handle life, isn't it? This is not an industrial product.

September 26, 2020

3:05

Arranged marriage or Love marriage – which is a better?

Transcript: Marriage is not about how it happened, who arranged it. Your parents arranged it, or a commercial website arranged it, a dating app arranged it, or a local bar arranged it when you were fuzzy. Or your confused friends arranged it, or your confused self arranged it. Well, anyway, it's an arrangement. It is best it is arranged by responsible, sensible people. This idea, arranged marriage means some kind...

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... of a slavery. Well, that depends. As there are exploitative people everywhere, sometimes your parents themselves may be exploitative, they may be doing things for their own reasons. Their stupid prestige, their wealth, their nonsense. They may be doing it for those reasons. So, this whole debate about, is arrange marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better. Well, I think when you're not little for doubt, I think your decisions are little better. If an 18-20 year old man or woman, young man or young woman want to marry, who will they marry? Their contact is just there. Within those 10 people that they know in their life, one guy or one girl you marry. Within 3 months you will know. But in most countries, there is a law, at least 2 years you must suffer. It's like a jail term. If you make a mistake, at least 2 years you must suffer. Then only you can divorce. Most nations have this. Well, many religions have fixed it that divorce is completely wrong. You cannot divorce. But, where such religions are practiced, there the divorce rates are highest. So, God's dictates are not able to stop the break ups. Law is not able to stop the break ups. You need to understand this, when parents organize, you must, I'm asking you a basic question. Do you believe, their judgement may not be the best, but parents have the best interest of yours. But if you have matured beyond them, that's different. You can make your own decisions. But, arranged marriage is a wrong terminology. All marriages are arranged. By whom, is the only question. I think it's best it's arrange by people who are most concerned about your well-being. Who have a larger reach of, because you can't find the best man, or the best woman in the world. Because we don't know where the hell they are.

Transcript: Marriage is not about how it happened, who arranged it. Your parents arranged it, or a commercial website...

show more...
... arranged it, a dating app arranged it, or a local bar arranged it when you were fuzzy. Or your confused friends arranged it, or your confused self arranged it. Well, anyway, it's an arrangement. It is best it is arranged by responsible, sensible people. This idea, arranged marriage means some kind of a slavery. Well, that depends. As there are exploitative people everywhere, sometimes your parents themselves may be exploitative, they may be doing things for their own reasons. Their stupid prestige, their wealth, their nonsense. They may be doing it for those reasons. So, this whole debate about, is arrange marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better. Well, I think when you're not little for doubt, I think your decisions are little better. If an 18-20 year old man or woman, young man or young woman want to marry, who will they marry? Their contact is just there. Within those 10 people that they know in their life, one guy or one girl you marry. Within 3 months you will know. But in most countries, there is a law, at least 2 years you must suffer. It's like a jail term. If you make a mistake, at least 2 years you must suffer. Then only you can divorce. Most nations have this. Well, many religions have fixed it that divorce is completely wrong. You cannot divorce. But, where such religions are practiced, there the divorce rates are highest. So, God's dictates are not able to stop the break ups. Law is not able to stop the break ups. You need to understand this, when parents organize, you must, I'm asking you a basic question. Do you believe, their judgement may not be the best, but parents have the best interest of yours. But if you have matured beyond them, that's different. You can make your own decisions. But, arranged marriage is a wrong terminology. All marriages are arranged. By whom, is the only question. I think it's best it's arrange by people who are most concerned about your well-being. Who have a larger reach of, because you can't find the best man, or the best woman in the world. Because we don't know where the hell they are.

August 24, 2020

3:39

Are marriages made in heaven?

Transcript: Where all they've been saying marriages are made in heaven. But you're cooking hell within you. Marriage is made in heaven. That's why a lot of people want to go there soon. Because it's made there, they want to go there and settle it. No. You need to understand, to fulfil you needs. Physical, psychological, emotional, social, and various other needs. You're coming together. If you always remember...

show more...
... to fulfil my needs, I'm with you, you will conduct this responsibly. Initially you're like that. After some time you think, he or she needs you. Then you will start acting vanterly. Then, of course, ugliness will start in many different ways. This happened. A young man and a very young woman got engaged. So once the, not like this, there must be a stone. Once the ring went in, the lady held his hand and said, "You can lean on me to share your pains, your struggles, your, whatever sufferings you go through. You can always share with me." The guy said, "Well, I don't have any struggles, or pains, or problems." She said, "Well, we're not yet married." So, if you think you're full of pain, struggles, problems, and you need somebody to lean on, well that'll be trouble. You make yourself into a joyful, wonderful human being, then you will see, your work also will be wonderful, your home also will be wonderful, your marriage will be wonderful. Everything will be wonderful because you are. Without fixing this, you think somebody else is going to fix you, then there's going to be trouble for you. And of course, an unfortunate consequence for the other person.

Transcript: Where all they've been saying marriages are made in heaven. But you're cooking hell within you. Marriage...

show more...
... is made in heaven. That's why a lot of people want to go there soon. Because it's made there, they want to go there and settle it. No. You need to understand, to fulfil you needs. Physical, psychological, emotional, social, and various other needs. You're coming together. If you always remember to fulfil my needs, I'm with you, you will conduct this responsibly. Initially you're like that. After some time you think, he or she needs you. Then you will start acting vanterly. Then, of course, ugliness will start in many different ways. This happened. A young man and a very young woman got engaged. So once the, not like this, there must be a stone. Once the ring went in, the lady held his hand and said, "You can lean on me to share your pains, your struggles, your, whatever sufferings you go through. You can always share with me." The guy said, "Well, I don't have any struggles, or pains, or problems." She said, "Well, we're not yet married." So, if you think you're full of pain, struggles, problems, and you need somebody to lean on, well that'll be trouble. You make yourself into a joyful, wonderful human being, then you will see, your work also will be wonderful, your home also will be wonderful, your marriage will be wonderful. Everything will be wonderful because you are. Without fixing this, you think somebody else is going to fix you, then there's going to be trouble for you. And of course, an unfortunate consequence for the other person.

August 23, 2020

2:54

In the times of Corona Virus – how to deal with lazy husband stubborn parents and bored children?

Synopsis: A lady asks Sadhguru - "Please guide the women of the country, who are dealing with lazy partners, stubborn parents and bored children on how to coexist compassionately amidst all the chaos. When household work load has increased and our work front identity has disappeared?" Sadhguru gives one simple way by which you can fix all this in one day!

Synopsis: A lady asks Sadhguru - "Please guide the women of the country, who are dealing with lazy partners, stubborn...

show more...
... parents and bored children on how to coexist compassionately amidst all the chaos. When household work load has increased and our work front identity has disappeared?" Sadhguru gives one simple way by which you can fix all this in one day!

June 16, 2020

5:25

Should Abortion be a Woman’s right?

Synopsis: Should there be laws governing Abortion or is it a women's right to decide? Is abortion not the same as terminating a life and hence a criminal act? How long into pregnancy should you allow it? Sadhguru's response on this tricky and controversial topic leaves everyone applauding.....

Synopsis: Should there be laws governing Abortion or is it a women's right to decide? Is abortion not the same...

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... as terminating a life and hence a criminal act? How long into pregnancy should you allow it? Sadhguru's response on this tricky and controversial topic leaves everyone applauding.....

October 21, 2019

06:16

How To Bring Up Your Children?

Synopsis: In this short but powerful talk, Sadhguru tells us that we have made education into an industry, and a child into an industrial product. Each life is unique, and we should strive to provide an atmosphere where this life will blossom. Sadhguru tells, bringing up a child is a 20 year project, and one must have the commitment and patience to nurture a fresh life. There are no ready-made solutions - it...

show more...
... needs total involvement. A must watch for all parents.

Synopsis: In this short but powerful talk, Sadhguru tells us that we have made education into an industry, and...

show more...
... a child into an industrial product. Each life is unique, and we should strive to provide an atmosphere where this life will blossom. Sadhguru tells, bringing up a child is a 20 year project, and one must have the commitment and patience to nurture a fresh life. There are no ready-made solutions - it needs total involvement. A must watch for all parents.

December 19, 2017

6:10

Why divorce is so painful and how to deal with it?

In this article, Sadhguru delves deep into what causes relationships to turn sour and eventually end up in divorce. Why is it that the person you once thought as the most wonderful being worthy of spending the rest of your life together with suddenly becomes so unbearable? He explains why divorces are much more painful beyond just emotional trauma, as the body is impacted at physical level in many ways which people don't realize.

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March 25, 2021

11 min read

Emotional security is a must for societies to flourish

Emotional security is an extremely important aspect for any human being and any society to flourish. For most people, emotion is a very dominant dimension of who they are. Such being the case, nobody can be truly productive if the emotions are all freaked out. The communities that do best are where there is emotional security for children and they don't have to fight for everything from an early age.  Unfortunately, in the name of freedom, we are making children go though emotional upheaval at a young age. It is very important that a culture of commitment is brought back in the society where are committed to their children and children are committed to their parents.

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March 18, 2021

6 min read

Marriage – to be or not to be?

Is marriage really necessary? Why can't I just have a live-in relationship? Marriage is a lifelong bondage, I am not willing for that - what's the way out? In this thought provoking article, Sadhguru provides deep insights into one of the most significant and often neglected relationship in one's life and answers questions on wide ranging topics ranging from why marriage, why multiple partners is a bad idea (not just moral aspects), the importance of Yogic ritual of Vivah (the marriage process ) to tips for a successful marriage.

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December 18, 2020

22 min read

is arranged marriage better?

A successful marriage depends upon how responsibly both the partners are behaving. If you make yourself into a joyful, wonderful human being, then you will see that your work, home and marriage will all be wonderful. Everything will be wonderful because you are. If one just remembers that you are coming together to fulfill your physical, psychological, emotional, social and various other needs, then you will conduct your marriage responsibly. But if you think the other person needs you, then ugliness will come in the relationship in many ways.

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October 12, 2020

6 min read

Use breakup as an opportunity

If you come out of a relationship, give yourself sufficient time. You can fix a minimum of six months or one year where you are just going to be by yourself. Because whatever went bad, you definitely have 50% contribution for everything that went bad. Use this time to fix that 50%. Disillusionment is a very good thing. If your illusions are broken, that means life is bringing you closer to reality. This is an opportunity for you to sit down and see, “What is the nature of my life?”

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June 28, 2020

5 min read

Should Mothers Work & Pursue Careers?

If there is a financial requirement in the family, women should work and contribute to the needs of the family. However, if the need is because of social compulsions and not financial, then it's not needed that every woman should work. In the last 40-50 years this idea has come, that you are a real woman, only if you earn. This is borrowed from a man's mind and is not needed. Woman should see how to enhance the feminine. Sadhguru shares his experience of his mother, and how she made a difference in his family.

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June 14, 2019

4 min read

Are Marriages made in heaven?

Does a perfect companion exists and has God already chosen the 'right' person already for you? People may seek a mate for physical, mental or emotional reasons- but it will be wise to recognise the limitations that exists between relationships and truly understand what 'Love' is. A 'Soul', which is complete and boundless does not need a mate. Sadhguru looks at the whole idea of 'Soulmate', love and why people come together.

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February 14, 2019

3 min read

Father & Son – Why is There Friction?

Family is a basic identity that we are born with. Without the family support, we wouldn't be where we are today, especially because the human being when born, is not ready for survival and needs support. Sadhguru says - "As a child, it is most vital that you are identified with the family. As an adult, you are supposed to grow beyond that". If there are two adult men living in the same space, there is bound to be some friction.

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September 19, 2017

3 min read

How To Deal With My Mother-in-Law

Sadhguru says, the identity of a mother or a wife came later, first they were a woman. Sadhguru says - "There is an instinctive rejection or resistance to the new woman coming into the house because you are now required to share someone who belonged to you in an unequal proportion – not even in equal proportions". Though, there is some biological basis to this protective behavior, if one is mature and aware, they can grow out of it.

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April 13, 2017

3 min read

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