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Love

How to handle grief of losing someone dear?

Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance...

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... of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.

Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that...

show more...
... grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.

September 12, 2020

2:39

Is love at first sight real?

Transcript: It means you're in a hurry. It means you're in a big rush. Well, you must understand this. There are many aspects to this. These terminologies come from another time. Love as first sight, what you're talking about, right? Right? Love as first sight was happening very commonly at one time. When the opposite genders would not have seen each other on a daily basis. You only got to see the girl when she...

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... was, this is a English scene I'm talking about. When the girl got into the carriage with her parents and you're just looking, and she just looked at you like this. Boom! Thunderbolt. Now she's walking with you, talking with you, studying with you, now it'll take time. And it's good it takes time. More time it takes, the better it is. So, these kind of terminologies come from another time, when there was no exposure between genders. The first girl you saw, boom! So, you may be drawn to a certain person, that is a different thing. But, these things are essentially lack of exposure. If you have sufficient exposure, you will see, you will look at somebody and you don't go boom like that. You will take your tme and it's good. It's good that you take your time to form proper, strong relationships that'll last. See, you make a relationship in life because somewhere you think, two is better than one, isn't it? Two may be better than one for you, but you may be a nuisance in the relationship. Yes? So, before you form any relationship of some gravity in life, first thing is, just look at this one. Is this one good enough for everything in the world? Because youth is the time when you must build this one. Don't be in a rush to live. Don't be in a rush to live when you have to grow. So there is a time to grow and there's a time to live. Too early, if you try to live, then you will see growth will not happen, because growth happens at a certain time very easily. Later on, not that it cannot happen. It will become more difficult because life will engage you in many different ways. So when you're young, when you're studying, this is the time to grow on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, energy wise. You must maximize yourself. Then you try to live. If you try to live too early, you will not become of much substance. If you're not of much substance, the person that you hold relationships with, if they grow well, they will look at you and wonder, why did I get trapped with this one. Yes?

Transcript: It means you're in a hurry. It means you're in a big rush. Well, you must understand this. There are...

show more...
... many aspects to this. These terminologies come from another time. Love as first sight, what you're talking about, right? Right? Love as first sight was happening very commonly at one time. When the opposite genders would not have seen each other on a daily basis. You only got to see the girl when she was, this is a English scene I'm talking about. When the girl got into the carriage with her parents and you're just looking, and she just looked at you like this. Boom! Thunderbolt. Now she's walking with you, talking with you, studying with you, now it'll take time. And it's good it takes time. More time it takes, the better it is. So, these kind of terminologies come from another time, when there was no exposure between genders. The first girl you saw, boom! So, you may be drawn to a certain person, that is a different thing. But, these things are essentially lack of exposure. If you have sufficient exposure, you will see, you will look at somebody and you don't go boom like that. You will take your tme and it's good. It's good that you take your time to form proper, strong relationships that'll last. See, you make a relationship in life because somewhere you think, two is better than one, isn't it? Two may be better than one for you, but you may be a nuisance in the relationship. Yes? So, before you form any relationship of some gravity in life, first thing is, just look at this one. Is this one good enough for everything in the world? Because youth is the time when you must build this one. Don't be in a rush to live. Don't be in a rush to live when you have to grow. So there is a time to grow and there's a time to live. Too early, if you try to live, then you will see growth will not happen, because growth happens at a certain time very easily. Later on, not that it cannot happen. It will become more difficult because life will engage you in many different ways. So when you're young, when you're studying, this is the time to grow on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, energy wise. You must maximize yourself. Then you try to live. If you try to live too early, you will not become of much substance. If you're not of much substance, the person that you hold relationships with, if they grow well, they will look at you and wonder, why did I get trapped with this one. Yes?

September 5, 2020

3:56

I love you is not a cure for fixing your relationship

Transcript: There are two ways to enter into a relationship. One way is, because you want to extract something from somebody. Another way is, because you want to share something with somebody. These are two ways. If you're out to share, your life will be good. If you're out to extract, when they close the tap, it's going to get terrible and nasty. You have seen people who thought they're absolute lovers, how terrible...

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... it becomes for many of them. Not because there's anything wrong with them, simply because you started off on the wrong footing. Thinking, this person is the source of my joy. No, no, no. Joy or misery, the source is within you. Yes or no? Whether it's joy or misery, the source is within you. It's for you to decide. If you're a joyful human being, they will also want to be with you. If you're a misery, they will endure you for some time. Shall I tell you a joke? Are you okay? Please Sadhguru. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai. What happened? Was walking in a park in the evening. Sunset time. He saw a young, pretty looking woman sitting on a stone bench. You know the park benches? He also went and sat down, settled down on the same bench. After some time, he moved little close. She moved little away. He allowed a few minutes, and again moved a little closer. She moved little away. Again, he moved closer. Now there was nowhere else to go for her because she was at the end of the bench. She pushed him away. Then he waited for two minutes, just the sun to get to the right angle. Then he went down on his knees and he said, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." You know a woman is a fool for love. And the sun was setting. If it was middle of the afternoon, she won't believe a damn thing. Sun was setting, the ambience was right, and she kind of feeled it. Nature took over, things happened between them. Then he looked at his watch, it was 8 O'clock in the evening. He got up and he said, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "Where are you going? You said you love me." He said, "My wife is waiting, I need to go." So 'I love you', for a whole lot of people, is like that, you know, open sesame. You want to get something. Maybe your needs are physical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or we don't know what else. You have needs to fulfil. So you use this mantra and it works. Half the time it works. I'm saying, it's important, it is important, you know the joy of being loving. Because sweetness of emotion is needed for you. If you want to take really big steps in your life. If you do not have sweetness of love in your heart, believe me, if you try to take big steps in the world, particularly in India, you will end up frustrated and go to Canada.

Transcript: There are two ways to enter into a relationship. One way is, because you want to extract something from...

show more...
... somebody. Another way is, because you want to share something with somebody. These are two ways. If you're out to share, your life will be good. If you're out to extract, when they close the tap, it's going to get terrible and nasty. You have seen people who thought they're absolute lovers, how terrible it becomes for many of them. Not because there's anything wrong with them, simply because you started off on the wrong footing. Thinking, this person is the source of my joy. No, no, no. Joy or misery, the source is within you. Yes or no? Whether it's joy or misery, the source is within you. It's for you to decide. If you're a joyful human being, they will also want to be with you. If you're a misery, they will endure you for some time. Shall I tell you a joke? Are you okay? Please Sadhguru. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai. What happened? Was walking in a park in the evening. Sunset time. He saw a young, pretty looking woman sitting on a stone bench. You know the park benches? He also went and sat down, settled down on the same bench. After some time, he moved little close. She moved little away. He allowed a few minutes, and again moved a little closer. She moved little away. Again, he moved closer. Now there was nowhere else to go for her because she was at the end of the bench. She pushed him away. Then he waited for two minutes, just the sun to get to the right angle. Then he went down on his knees and he said, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." You know a woman is a fool for love. And the sun was setting. If it was middle of the afternoon, she won't believe a damn thing. Sun was setting, the ambience was right, and she kind of feeled it. Nature took over, things happened between them. Then he looked at his watch, it was 8 O'clock in the evening. He got up and he said, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "Where are you going? You said you love me." He said, "My wife is waiting, I need to go." So 'I love you', for a whole lot of people, is like that, you know, open sesame. You want to get something. Maybe your needs are physical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or we don't know what else. You have needs to fulfil. So you use this mantra and it works. Half the time it works. I'm saying, it's important, it is important, you know the joy of being loving. Because sweetness of emotion is needed for you. If you want to take really big steps in your life. If you do not have sweetness of love in your heart, believe me, if you try to take big steps in the world, particularly in India, you will end up frustrated and go to Canada.

July 18, 2020

3:50

How to find true love? Is this the right person for me?

Transcript: So who is the right person? I don't want to take away all the romance in your life. But, let me tell you this, there is no right person on this planet. If you get into that kind of unrealistic mindset, I have found the right person. Oh, you will be soon disappointed. You must understand, there is no right person. First thing is to see whether, I am the right person. Yes? Am I the right person? And...

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... there are no right people on this planet. If you understand, you have your nonsense, they have their nonsense. We can adjust nonsense nonsense. Go on. First and foremost thing is you bring yourself to a place where your experience of life is just pleasant by yourself. You're wonderful. Now, let us see what gets drawn to this one. If you're really wonderful, things will happen in every way, I'm saying. And this whole thing is an American thing, that there is a soulmate somewhere. God made just one more person just for you. But these days every two years he keeps making one more person just for you. Obviously, God is making too many mistakes with you. It once happened, Shankaran Pillai was at the family dinner. And when everybody settled down for dinner, he stood up at the table and announced, "I am going to marry Lucy, who is just across the street." I hope that's not the name. Then the father said, "What? You want to marry Lucy? She has nothing. She's like a tramp. You're going to marry that Lucy." Mother said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy?" The uncle, uncle is always pitching in in these kind of matters. The uncle said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy? Have you seen her hair? It looks fake." The aunt, "Whatt? You're going to marry Lucy? She's always painted. You're going to marry that painted woman?" The little boy, the nephew can't be left out. He says, "You're going to marry Lucy. She doesn't even know what is cricket! How can you marry her?" Shankaran Pillai stood his ground and said, "Yes, I'm going to marry Lucy." Everybody asked in one voice, "Why?" He said, "Because she has no family." There are no many opinions to battle with.

Transcript: So who is the right person? I don't want to take away all the romance in your life. But, let me tell...

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... you this, there is no right person on this planet. If you get into that kind of unrealistic mindset, I have found the right person. Oh, you will be soon disappointed. You must understand, there is no right person. First thing is to see whether, I am the right person. Yes? Am I the right person? And there are no right people on this planet. If you understand, you have your nonsense, they have their nonsense. We can adjust nonsense nonsense. Go on. First and foremost thing is you bring yourself to a place where your experience of life is just pleasant by yourself. You're wonderful. Now, let us see what gets drawn to this one. If you're really wonderful, things will happen in every way, I'm saying. And this whole thing is an American thing, that there is a soulmate somewhere. God made just one more person just for you. But these days every two years he keeps making one more person just for you. Obviously, God is making too many mistakes with you. It once happened, Shankaran Pillai was at the family dinner. And when everybody settled down for dinner, he stood up at the table and announced, "I am going to marry Lucy, who is just across the street." I hope that's not the name. Then the father said, "What? You want to marry Lucy? She has nothing. She's like a tramp. You're going to marry that Lucy." Mother said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy?" The uncle, uncle is always pitching in in these kind of matters. The uncle said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy? Have you seen her hair? It looks fake." The aunt, "Whatt? You're going to marry Lucy? She's always painted. You're going to marry that painted woman?" The little boy, the nephew can't be left out. He says, "You're going to marry Lucy. She doesn't even know what is cricket! How can you marry her?" Shankaran Pillai stood his ground and said, "Yes, I'm going to marry Lucy." Everybody asked in one voice, "Why?" He said, "Because she has no family." There are no many opinions to battle with.

July 15, 2020

3:21

My partner is never happy with me – no matter what I do

Transcript: Nowhere in the history of humanity, or today, or in anytime in future, will human relationships be absolute. Though every, every person who gets little romantic, believes that this is going to be an absolute relationship. There is no such thing about it. A relationship is a variable, always. You have to conduct it on a daily basis. One day if you don't conduct it properly, it may go somewhere. Yes...

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... or no? No, please look at it as it is. You have to conduct it right. So, no I'm doing my best. Obviously somebody feels your best is not good enough for them. No, I want you to come to terms with this. This is not about, I'm not saying what they're doing is right or wrong. That's not for me to say. All I'm saying is, this is how human beings have been functioning for ages, and still are. I'm saying, first of all, you need to understand, relationships will never ever be absolute. They will be variables that you, it's juggling that you have to do. If you're juggling with fireballs, one sometimes, it'll spill out. Takes lot of skill and attention. Yes or no? You're married, many of you. Doesn't it take lot of skill and attention? Yes. If you don't pay any attention, you don't know what the hell is happening. It takes a lot of attention, isn't it? So I'm saying, you need to understand this. A relationship is a variable reality. It is not an absolute reality. If you want to have an absolute relationship, you must hold relationships with the dead. It's time you look deeper, rather than reacting and trying to fix somebody else. Punishing somebody else is not going to transform your life, not going to make your life beautiful in any way. Some sick satisfaction you'll have for two days, after that you'll feel guilty about that also. So don't go that way. This is an opportunity. Somebody is opening up a spiritual dimension for you.

Transcript: Nowhere in the history of humanity, or today, or in anytime in future, will human relationships be absolute....

show more...
... Though every, every person who gets little romantic, believes that this is going to be an absolute relationship. There is no such thing about it. A relationship is a variable, always. You have to conduct it on a daily basis. One day if you don't conduct it properly, it may go somewhere. Yes or no? No, please look at it as it is. You have to conduct it right. So, no I'm doing my best. Obviously somebody feels your best is not good enough for them. No, I want you to come to terms with this. This is not about, I'm not saying what they're doing is right or wrong. That's not for me to say. All I'm saying is, this is how human beings have been functioning for ages, and still are. I'm saying, first of all, you need to understand, relationships will never ever be absolute. They will be variables that you, it's juggling that you have to do. If you're juggling with fireballs, one sometimes, it'll spill out. Takes lot of skill and attention. Yes or no? You're married, many of you. Doesn't it take lot of skill and attention? Yes. If you don't pay any attention, you don't know what the hell is happening. It takes a lot of attention, isn't it? So I'm saying, you need to understand this. A relationship is a variable reality. It is not an absolute reality. If you want to have an absolute relationship, you must hold relationships with the dead. It's time you look deeper, rather than reacting and trying to fix somebody else. Punishing somebody else is not going to transform your life, not going to make your life beautiful in any way. Some sick satisfaction you'll have for two days, after that you'll feel guilty about that also. So don't go that way. This is an opportunity. Somebody is opening up a spiritual dimension for you.

July 14, 2020

2:49

How to make couple relationships work – Why do they fail?

Transcript: Unfortunately today we have imbibed this, from the West again, that if you utter the word relationship, people are generally thinking of body-based relationships. Or in some way, it has to be between a man and a woman, or whatever else. But essetially, body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they're body-based relationships, usually the excitement about each other's body...

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... will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate, is not ultimate after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of it. Then, when the main draw which brought people together is kind of melting away, without knowing why they start being unpleasant to each other. Because essentially such a relationship is towards extracting sweetness from another person. Extracting happiness from another person. So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody, after some time you find when it doesn't yield the same result as it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important when you're young, certain things may happen as you start growing older. When I say older, from yesterday to today, you're older. So today you must be thinking in terms of, that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships. Any kind of relationship that you hold, if relationship is based on your expression of joy, not on extraction of joy. For this, you must become joyful by your own nature first of all. If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant overflow of joy, if it so and your relationship is only about sharing this, then you don't have to worry about the normal circus that people go through in terms of relationships. Managing relationships means, in day to day life a relationship may not stay just in one area of life. Once people are together, they will have to share many things. Naturally, you will start stepping on each other's toes for many many small things that happen. Because of this there will be many interactions or you can even call them altercations. They will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis. People think they can manage, after some time you will see you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in such a way that you're a natural exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen. And relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get you're not getting. If you eliminate this need within you. That you are a natural overflow of joy. If this one thing you do, you can have fabulous relationships with every kind of people, irespective of who they are. They don't have to be your kind. With all sorts of people you can hold wonderful relationships.

Transcript: Unfortunately today we have imbibed this, from the West again, that if you utter the word relationship,...

show more...
... people are generally thinking of body-based relationships. Or in some way, it has to be between a man and a woman, or whatever else. But essetially, body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they're body-based relationships, usually the excitement about each other's body will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate, is not ultimate after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of it. Then, when the main draw which brought people together is kind of melting away, without knowing why they start being unpleasant to each other. Because essentially such a relationship is towards extracting sweetness from another person. Extracting happiness from another person. So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody, after some time you find when it doesn't yield the same result as it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important when you're young, certain things may happen as you start growing older. When I say older, from yesterday to today, you're older. So today you must be thinking in terms of, that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships. Any kind of relationship that you hold, if relationship is based on your expression of joy, not on extraction of joy. For this, you must become joyful by your own nature first of all. If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant overflow of joy, if it so and your relationship is only about sharing this, then you don't have to worry about the normal circus that people go through in terms of relationships. Managing relationships means, in day to day life a relationship may not stay just in one area of life. Once people are together, they will have to share many things. Naturally, you will start stepping on each other's toes for many many small things that happen. Because of this there will be many interactions or you can even call them altercations. They will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis. People think they can manage, after some time you will see you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in such a way that you're a natural exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen. And relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get you're not getting. If you eliminate this need within you. That you are a natural overflow of joy. If this one thing you do, you can have fabulous relationships with every kind of people, irespective of who they are. They don't have to be your kind. With all sorts of people you can hold wonderful relationships.

July 8, 2020

3:57

Multiple heartbreaks will make you distrust people

Transcript: This serial heartbreak business can leave you paranoid about anything. About bonding with anybody in your life. Yes or no? You had serial heartbreaks. It looked like fun for some time, after some time you just don't actually trust anybody in your life. Because another human being is a problem always. Only when our emotions allow you to cross the problem, in some way they get included. But, if we have...

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... serial heartbreaks, we will never allow our emotion to cross those barriers, we will always be cautious because anyway this has come with an expiry date. When people come with an expiry date, yes there is an expiry date for all of us. But relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life. So that two people, that means, two brains and two bodies can do better than one in many ways. In various aspects of life, in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship, in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives. In every way, two people can do better than one person, that is the idea. And, of course, nature is pushing us together because nature doesn't care about your love affair, it just wants you to reproduce. You're 10, 12 it's okay. You became 13, and you look like this. Suddenly this is a world by itself. The neighbourhood scrawny girl who didn't mean a damn thing to you, suddenly she is the focus, she's the apple of your eye. Yes? So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones. So it is making funny things happen. It is making you believe all kinds of things. When you look back and see, you'll feel stupid, but it's okay. There's nothing wrong about it. But it's very important that we understand what's happening to us. Otherwise we'll do idiotic things that we may regret later, you know. It is not a question of morality, it is a question of handling our lives sensibly. So reproduction is not the purpose right now, we have kept it aside. But nature's push is towards that. But we have emotional needs, physical needs, psychological needs, maybe financial and social needs. Variety of needs. To conduct these needs in a dignified way. To conduct these needs in a, see once you come as a human being, you can't do things, though they are the same things what the animals do. But we would like to do it more gracefully, consciously. Whether we eat, or we copulate, or we sleep. We like to do it little more aesthetically right. That's the important thing. For that, we need the cooperation of another person, who is also somehow congruent to us. Every two days if you have heartbreaks and going on, well, you must see the trouble of that.

Transcript: This serial heartbreak business can leave you paranoid about anything. About bonding with anybody in...

show more...
... your life. Yes or no? You had serial heartbreaks. It looked like fun for some time, after some time you just don't actually trust anybody in your life. Because another human being is a problem always. Only when our emotions allow you to cross the problem, in some way they get included. But, if we have serial heartbreaks, we will never allow our emotion to cross those barriers, we will always be cautious because anyway this has come with an expiry date. When people come with an expiry date, yes there is an expiry date for all of us. But relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life. So that two people, that means, two brains and two bodies can do better than one in many ways. In various aspects of life, in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship, in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives. In every way, two people can do better than one person, that is the idea. And, of course, nature is pushing us together because nature doesn't care about your love affair, it just wants you to reproduce. You're 10, 12 it's okay. You became 13, and you look like this. Suddenly this is a world by itself. The neighbourhood scrawny girl who didn't mean a damn thing to you, suddenly she is the focus, she's the apple of your eye. Yes? So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones. So it is making funny things happen. It is making you believe all kinds of things. When you look back and see, you'll feel stupid, but it's okay. There's nothing wrong about it. But it's very important that we understand what's happening to us. Otherwise we'll do idiotic things that we may regret later, you know. It is not a question of morality, it is a question of handling our lives sensibly. So reproduction is not the purpose right now, we have kept it aside. But nature's push is towards that. But we have emotional needs, physical needs, psychological needs, maybe financial and social needs. Variety of needs. To conduct these needs in a dignified way. To conduct these needs in a, see once you come as a human being, you can't do things, though they are the same things what the animals do. But we would like to do it more gracefully, consciously. Whether we eat, or we copulate, or we sleep. We like to do it little more aesthetically right. That's the important thing. For that, we need the cooperation of another person, who is also somehow congruent to us. Every two days if you have heartbreaks and going on, well, you must see the trouble of that.

July 7, 2020

3:42

How to find real love?

Transcript: We have one question from the social media, the Facebook. Amit Madhan wants to know, in this materialistic age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others? Forget about others. If you, if you learn to be loving by your own nature, not...

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... because of somebody else or something else. I know the question is coming from Facebook, there's enomous possibility. You can even love those people who don't even exist. So I'm saying there's a tremendous possibility. So, if you just become love, not love somebody then you will know the nature of love. If you love somebody, it's a fickle happening because no human being will happen 100% the way you want them. Every human being on this planet is going to disappoint you, believe me. Not because they'll do something wrong, because nobody can fulfil the unrealistic expectation you have of them. It's simply not possible. Have you been able to fulfil anybody's expectation? I'm asking you, entirely? Partially. But never entirely, isn't it? So nobody else will be able to do it. Unless you're still such a hopeless romantic, you're still waiting. That ideal person is going to come from somewhere. No. Believe me, whoever comes. I want you to know, the ideal people, whom you worship. When Krishna was there, his wives complained. Alright? So there is no hope for us. Yes, please remember this.

Transcript: We have one question from the social media, the Facebook. Amit Madhan wants to know, in this materialistic...

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... age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others? Forget about others. If you, if you learn to be loving by your own nature, not because of somebody else or something else. I know the question is coming from Facebook, there's enomous possibility. You can even love those people who don't even exist. So I'm saying there's a tremendous possibility. So, if you just become love, not love somebody then you will know the nature of love. If you love somebody, it's a fickle happening because no human being will happen 100% the way you want them. Every human being on this planet is going to disappoint you, believe me. Not because they'll do something wrong, because nobody can fulfil the unrealistic expectation you have of them. It's simply not possible. Have you been able to fulfil anybody's expectation? I'm asking you, entirely? Partially. But never entirely, isn't it? So nobody else will be able to do it. Unless you're still such a hopeless romantic, you're still waiting. That ideal person is going to come from somewhere. No. Believe me, whoever comes. I want you to know, the ideal people, whom you worship. When Krishna was there, his wives complained. Alright? So there is no hope for us. Yes, please remember this.

July 4, 2020

2:17

Why do loving relationships turn bitter?

Transcript: There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home. And for it to be well coordinated, certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is with an enormous level of connectedness. Not emotional. Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed, it is the juice of life. You don't make your emotions work, you should not make them work. You can make...

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... your thought work, you can make your body work. Don't try to make your emotions work. Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, isn't it? Yes or no? Initially 'I love you' works. After some time, you're trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets. Because emotion is not for work, emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work, emotions just there. The flowers need not work, they're just there. That's all. Emotion is like that, it's just there. Pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly. The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opiniated. It will not work like that. Fundamental mechanics are wrong, so how will it work?

Transcript: There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home. And for it to be well coordinated,...

show more...
... certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is with an enormous level of connectedness. Not emotional. Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed, it is the juice of life. You don't make your emotions work, you should not make them work. You can make your thought work, you can make your body work. Don't try to make your emotions work. Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, isn't it? Yes or no? Initially 'I love you' works. After some time, you're trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets. Because emotion is not for work, emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work, emotions just there. The flowers need not work, they're just there. That's all. Emotion is like that, it's just there. Pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly. The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opiniated. It will not work like that. Fundamental mechanics are wrong, so how will it work?

June 29, 2020

2:19

What is the right age to have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Synopsis: During a Youth and Truth event, a student asks Sadhguru - "What is the right age to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"Sadhguru says, today it has become like this, that when we say 'relationship', by default everyone assumes that the reference is to a body based relationship. One can have beautiful relationships without involving with your body! Sadhguru says, when you are in college, your focus should...

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... be to enhance yourself to your full potential. So unless you have a huge compulsiveness for a sexual relationship, otherwise these things will become a big diversion for you.

Synopsis: During a Youth and Truth event, a student asks Sadhguru - "What is the right age to have a boyfriend...

show more...
... or a girlfriend?"Sadhguru says, today it has become like this, that when we say 'relationship', by default everyone assumes that the reference is to a body based relationship. One can have beautiful relationships without involving with your body! Sadhguru says, when you are in college, your focus should be to enhance yourself to your full potential. So unless you have a huge compulsiveness for a sexual relationship, otherwise these things will become a big diversion for you.

May 30, 2019

10:30

How To Move From Lust To Love?

Lust is a strong need. Love is not a need. Today, people are physically inactive. Unlike earlier times, everything physical needed for survival is already taken care of. This has made people neurotic, because the energy is not worked out - it is trapped. Sadhguru says - "When you love, you settle down, nothing more is needed. You can just sit here for a lifetime. With lust you cannot sit anywhere. You either get into some mad action, or you are bound to go crazy". So, either, one works out the energy through physical activity, or another way is to simply drop it and move ahead - this is meditation.

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November 22, 2019

4 min read

Are Marriages made in heaven?

Does a perfect companion exists and has God already chosen the 'right' person already for you? People may seek a mate for physical, mental or emotional reasons- but it will be wise to recognise the limitations that exists between relationships and truly understand what 'Love' is. A 'Soul', which is complete and boundless does not need a mate. Sadhguru looks at the whole idea of 'Soulmate', love and why people come together.

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February 14, 2019

3 min read

Amish Tripathi – How To Deal With The Loss Of a Someone Close To Us?

Grief is about a loss - loss of possession, positions, professions and of course loved ones. If we lose someone to death, then it cannot be replaced - so the grief becomes more profound. Sadhguru says - the way we have defined "who we are" - is based on our possessions, positions and relationships. Relationships should not become an instrument to fill our lives - rather they should come from the basis of our completeness. This needs to be cultivated throughout life - this is what a spiritual process means.

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September 10, 2018

2 min read

Mouni Roy – Why Are Relationships Becoming Fickle Today?

Relationships can be of many kinds; but these days the word "relationship" largely connotes a body-based relationship. Once the relationship is body-based, usually the excitement about each other's body will die after some time. Once that happens, the relationship starts to fall apart. So you must look at relationships in terms of an expression of joy, and for that to happen you must first become joyful by your own nature. Once your relationship is not need-based, and you are naturally joyful, you can hold wonderful relationships with everyone!

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September 1, 2018

3 min read

What Is Love?

What is love? And what is unconditional love - if there is such a thing! Is love just one more need, which has been glorified? Sadhguru narrates a beautiful and touching story of a king and his loving wife. He also elaborates on the science of 'mangalsutra', and how it is a tool for two beings to get entwined, and sadly how the science has been lost now. So, is love the goal of life? Sadhguru clarifies...

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June 11, 2018

9 min read

How to Deal With Passing Away of a Loved One?

It is important to always be aware that nobody is going to be around forever! People who are close to us, have enhanced our lives in some ways. So, if those who have enhanced our lives pass away, or leave us, we must cherish them joyfully, and not grieve their exit. Whatever wonderful things they meant for you, you must express those to people who are still living around you. Sadhguru shares a beautiful story about Narada and Krishna, to illustrate that in some way all relationships are an illusion!

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May 18, 2018

9 min read

What Is Unconditional Love?

Sadhguru tells us that, this concept of unconditional love, is grossly misunderstood. There is nothing like conditional love, or unconditional love. He says - "There is either love or no love. Either you know love in your life or you know a mutual benefit scheme"! All relationships are transactions, and we must manage them gracefully. Sadhguru narrates a beautiful and touching story (from her grandmother) to highlight this aspect. Sadhguru says - "Do not get lost in ideas of unconditional love. Love itself is a condition."

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January 1, 2018

6 min read

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