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Love

Talks

How do we bring a spirit of healing into the spirit of medicine? | Sadhguru at Yale School of Medicine | #8

Synopsis: I’d like to get back to the practice of medicine just for a question. I tell my gang, whom I adore, my resonance with my students is close to my heart. I adore them. I say, “Medicine is easy. Medicine is easy, but healing is hard.” Because in medicine, you know we have our portions. And if we don’t know an answer, we do a test. And if we don’t know what the...

... test means, we consult somebody. So, medicine, in some ways we can distill it down, we can make it easy. But, with healing. Healing is really where the art of medicine lies. And healing is where the spirit and love and suffering and treatments and surgeries, that’s where it all comes in. How would you propose that we adopt a healing attitude? How do we bring a spirit of healing into the spirit of medicine?

Synopsis: I’d like to get back to the practice of medicine just for a question....

... I tell my gang, whom I adore, my resonance with my students is close to my heart. I adore them. I say, “Medicine is easy. Medicine is easy, but healing is hard.” Because in medicine, you know we have our portions. And if we don’t know an answer, we do a test. And if we don’t know what the test means, we consult somebody. So, medicine, in some ways we can distill it down, we can make it easy. But, with healing. Healing is really where the art of medicine lies. And healing is where the spirit and love and suffering and treatments and surgeries, that’s where it all comes in. How would you propose that we adopt a healing attitude? How do we bring a spirit of healing into the spirit of medicine?

April 19, 2021

6:03

Society / Video

Why do we have war? | Sadhguru in Conversation with India’s BSF Officers | #8

Synopsis: We are all love deep inside. Then why do we have war guruji?

Synopsis: ...

...We are all love deep inside. Then why do we have war guruji?

April 17, 2021

2:49

Relationships / Society / Video

What advice would you give to young people courting? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Julie Gichuru | #7

Synopsis: So, I’m bringing us back, for a moment, to family Sadhguru. And one of the things that is happening in Kenya, with much of our young society, is that we have a lot of single families. How many single parent families? How many people are aware of this happening in society today? Lot of women are left with the burden of bringing up children and struggling through. And...

... it’s really very sad. I remember, I’m looking back at when I first got married. And you know, you get very few lessons on marriage. You kind of get in and you have to figure it out right? And in many ways it took some time to understand exactly what you’ve told us. When you know unconditional love comes from your partner, everything is solved. And so you put that first, and you build up and you build up. Lot of young families seem to be going in without the tools to get through those really difficult and tough times. Sometimes they don’t even get to the point of marriage and family. What advice would you give young people courting? Or young people in a situation where they feel alone and abandoned. And they’re wondering what’s gone wrong. How do I get it right the next time, maybe?

Synopsis: So, I’m bringing us back, for a moment, to family Sadhguru. And one...

... of the things that is happening in Kenya, with much of our young society, is that we have a lot of single families. How many single parent families? How many people are aware of this happening in society today? Lot of women are left with the burden of bringing up children and struggling through. And it’s really very sad. I remember, I’m looking back at when I first got married. And you know, you get very few lessons on marriage. You kind of get in and you have to figure it out right? And in many ways it took some time to understand exactly what you’ve told us. When you know unconditional love comes from your partner, everything is solved. And so you put that first, and you build up and you build up. Lot of young families seem to be going in without the tools to get through those really difficult and tough times. Sometimes they don’t even get to the point of marriage and family. What advice would you give young people courting? Or young people in a situation where they feel alone and abandoned. And they’re wondering what’s gone wrong. How do I get it right the next time, maybe?

April 17, 2021

7:23

Be Inspired / Lifestyle / Video

Step 1 for everyone to start feeling that life is beautiful | Sadhguru in Conversation with Rakul Preet Singh | #6

Synopsis: Whenever I’m talking to you, or listening to your speeches, or following you. It feels like life is really simple, you know. And it’s beautiful, it’s full of love everywhere. We are love, things around us have life. But, how difficult is it for people to understand that life is simple? And why do you think the smallest of the things have been complicated by the...

... human race so much? Be it relationships, be it marriages, be it love, be it work. There’s just so many superficial things overcoating it. And people are just missing out on small joys of life. And they just don’t live life the way it’s supposed to be. What is it that you would say, would be step 1 for everyone to start at least looking into that direction of feeling that life is beautiful?

Synopsis: Whenever I’m talking to you, or listening to your speeches, or following...

... you. It feels like life is really simple, you know. And it’s beautiful, it’s full of love everywhere. We are love, things around us have life. But, how difficult is it for people to understand that life is simple? And why do you think the smallest of the things have been complicated by the human race so much? Be it relationships, be it marriages, be it love, be it work. There’s just so many superficial things overcoating it. And people are just missing out on small joys of life. And they just don’t live life the way it’s supposed to be. What is it that you would say, would be step 1 for everyone to start at least looking into that direction of feeling that life is beautiful?

April 14, 2021

9:49

Relationships / Society / Video

Why is it that today many youngsters don’t want to get married? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #11

Synopsis: Today, many youngsters don’t want to marry. And few of them who marry, there are occasions where they are getting divorced. So, would you like to throw some light on this situation?

Synopsis: Today, many youngsters don’t want to marry. And few of them who marry,...

... there are occasions where they are getting divorced. So, would you like to throw some light on this situation?

April 14, 2021

6:30

Relationships / Video

How can we reinforce the real feeling of love? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #10

Synopsis: In this materialistic age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others, and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others?

Synopsis: In this materialistic age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from...

... our life. Most of the love we receive from others, and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others?

April 14, 2021

3:38

Relationships / Video

Where do we draw a line between loving unconditionally and becoming a doormat? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #9

Synopsis: Where and how do we draw a line between loving unconditionally and becoming a doormat?

Synopsis: Where and how do we draw a line between loving unconditionally and becoming...

... a doormat?

April 14, 2021

6:52

Lifestyle / Video

How to become loving? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #4

Synopsis: Sadhguru, you said something about health. And you said, you do certain things for yourself. One, you’re given health, and then it is how you maintain it is, you eat well, you exercise, and then you remain healthy. Now, to be loving, maybe in a household, any situation, maybe outside. Like you said, outside forces are not pleasant. It doesn’t come easily, to then,...

... just be loving. So, what is the practice? To become that way, or to train yourself to be that way.

Synopsis: Sadhguru, you said something about health. And you said, you do certain...

... things for yourself. One, you’re given health, and then it is how you maintain it is, you eat well, you exercise, and then you remain healthy. Now, to be loving, maybe in a household, any situation, maybe outside. Like you said, outside forces are not pleasant. It doesn’t come easily, to then, just be loving. So, what is the practice? To become that way, or to train yourself to be that way.

April 14, 2021

6:03

Relationships / Video

Is love inclusiveness? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #3

Synopsis: Is love inclusiveness? I can’t understand how I can love everybody in this room. So how do you include everybody in your love?

Synopsis: Is love inclusiveness? I can’t understand how I can love everybody...

... in this room. So how do you include everybody in your love?

April 14, 2021

5:32

Relationships / Video

Should love be unconditional or conditional? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #2

Synopsis: Sadhguru, you just mentioned love. And today it is about life and love. And I would like to know, for us it is, maybe love your family members, whoever it could be. Why I ask you this is, because there’s so many versions of this and I really want to get to it. Some teachers, some gurus, some guides, will say, you know, you can love but you must be detached. You must...

... love but it cannot be conditional, it should be unconditional. So there’s different versions of it. I just want to know.

Synopsis: Sadhguru, you just mentioned love. And today it is about life and love....

... And I would like to know, for us it is, maybe love your family members, whoever it could be. Why I ask you this is, because there’s so many versions of this and I really want to get to it. Some teachers, some gurus, some guides, will say, you know, you can love but you must be detached. You must love but it cannot be conditional, it should be unconditional. So there’s different versions of it. I just want to know.

April 14, 2021

5:56

Relationships / Video

What does it mean to love somebody? | Sadhguru at University of Toronto | #4

Synopsis: So, love is like a universal topic. It’s in movies, songs, it seems like such a basic component of life. Yet, it’s really hard for us to define it. Really hard for us to truly know when we’re in love, to truly know if it’s the right kind of love. If it actually is love. If it’s just infatuation. If you feel really strongly, it must be love, because you can’t...

... get them out of your head. And maybe that’s just me as a young person. But, ya, so love can be very, a very big topic. So, the question that we’ve sourced from the UofT community is, what does it mean to love someone, both conditionally and healthily?

Synopsis: So, love is like a universal topic. It’s in movies, songs, it seems...

... like such a basic component of life. Yet, it’s really hard for us to define it. Really hard for us to truly know when we’re in love, to truly know if it’s the right kind of love. If it actually is love. If it’s just infatuation. If you feel really strongly, it must be love, because you can’t get them out of your head. And maybe that’s just me as a young person. But, ya, so love can be very, a very big topic. So, the question that we’ve sourced from the UofT community is, what does it mean to love someone, both conditionally and healthily?

April 12, 2021

9:12

Relationships / Video

How to deal with a difficult partner

Transcript: If your concern is your spiritual growth only then if you have a demon for your partner that's the best thing. But your partner, your husband, wife is not just about spiritual growth you also want to have a pleasant life in the family then you have to choose. Someone who like, whom you like but little.... there is a.... any human being on the planet, there is something that you don't like about them....

... isn't it so? So, you use that part of it, for your spiritual growth and the rest of it you enjoy. Just as life. So if your intention is to have a good family, then some rapport is needed between two people, otherwise it won't work. Especially if you have produced children, then rapport is must, otherwise you'll foul the new life that's come up. If you create a foul atmosphere you'll foul up the new life that is coming up. Nobody has any right to do that actually, but people are doing it. But no human being has any right, you can mess yourself up as much as you want, that's up to you. But you can't mess up a fresh life that's just coming up. So, if you're looking for good life, family life, then one has to find rapport and that rapport means, some areas of commonality at least. But if you're looking for spiritual life, it doesn't matter what kind of person he is. You can use everything for your growth, everything, for your growth. If that's all your focus is. But generally your focus is both ways you want to have a little bit of that and a little bit of this. So mixed fair, so it gets a little complex. So, to build a rapport takes effort, takes compromise, takes love, endurance, takes endurance you know. Somebody is constantly like this, you want to build a rapport with that person but you don't want to go his way, that takes lots of endurance. Yes or no? People whom you love are not easy. So, what can you do? One thing is to transform yourself in such a way, being in your presence unknowingly their cup will turn around..

Transcript: If your concern is your spiritual growth only then if you have a demon for your partner that's the best...

... thing. But your partner, your husband, wife is not just about spiritual growth you also want to have a pleasant life in the family then you have to choose. Someone who like, whom you like but little.... there is a.... any human being on the planet, there is something that you don't like about them. isn't it so? So, you use that part of it, for your spiritual growth and the rest of it you enjoy. Just as life. So if your intention is to have a good family, then some rapport is needed between two people, otherwise it won't work. Especially if you have produced children, then rapport is must, otherwise you'll foul the new life that's come up. If you create a foul atmosphere you'll foul up the new life that is coming up. Nobody has any right to do that actually, but people are doing it. But no human being has any right, you can mess yourself up as much as you want, that's up to you. But you can't mess up a fresh life that's just coming up. So, if you're looking for good life, family life, then one has to find rapport and that rapport means, some areas of commonality at least. But if you're looking for spiritual life, it doesn't matter what kind of person he is. You can use everything for your growth, everything, for your growth. If that's all your focus is. But generally your focus is both ways you want to have a little bit of that and a little bit of this. So mixed fair, so it gets a little complex. So, to build a rapport takes effort, takes compromise, takes love, endurance, takes endurance you know. Somebody is constantly like this, you want to build a rapport with that person but you don't want to go his way, that takes lots of endurance. Yes or no? People whom you love are not easy. So, what can you do? One thing is to transform yourself in such a way, being in your presence unknowingly their cup will turn around..

January 13, 2021

3:52

Relationships / Success / Video

How do you reconcile your own goals and principles versus the person you love? | Sadhguru at Columbia University | #8

Synopsis: Changing here slightly, I have a question submitted by the prolific anonymous. How do you, Sadhguru, decide between your principles/ goals/ priorities versus the person you like the most? The goals and principles both come from the same mind/ heart. And our anonymous used the word like but we can also use love in there too. But I guess the question is, how do you reconcile...

... your own goals and principles versus the person you like, or love?

Synopsis: Changing here slightly, I have a question submitted by the prolific anonymous....

... How do you, Sadhguru, decide between your principles/ goals/ priorities versus the person you like the most? The goals and principles both come from the same mind/ heart. And our anonymous used the word like but we can also use love in there too. But I guess the question is, how do you reconcile your own goals and principles versus the person you like, or love?

January 7, 2021

12:29

Be Inspired / Society / Video

Should you do what you love, or love what you do? | Sadhguru at University of Michigan | #4

Synopsis: As we graduate from school and leave university, and go into the corporate world. A lot of people follow their passion and take an unconventional path. My question is, should you do what you love, or should you love what you do?

Synopsis: As we graduate from school and leave university, and go into the corporate...

... world. A lot of people follow their passion and take an unconventional path. My question is, should you do what you love, or should you love what you do?

January 4, 2021

5:14

Relationships / Video

What is love?

Transcript: The moment people see you, even from a distance, there's a sudden outpouring of love. Complete outpouring of love. So let's talk about love. This is one kind of a love. What happens? Is there something, is it a release? That could be one thing for this and their own stress and emotion release. On the other hand, is there some kind of energy that you're transmitting to them? Is that energy possible...

... only in a loving relationship? Even between you and the people, or between people themselves. What is that energy called love? And then let's relate it to man and woman because that's the love most of us know. Love or hate, whichever you like. Let's talk about love. There is no such thing as an energy that is love. Life is a certain energy, you're a certain life energy. Many parts of this life energy is finding expression as thought, as body, physical action, emotion. And there are other dimensions, of course. Energy action. If you can perform only physical activity in your life, the span and the scope of that activity is very limited. Because you empower your physical activity with your mental activity, depending upon the keenness and the intensity of your mental activity, your physical activity takes on a different level, as if it moves to a different dimension because of the mental activity. If you make a movie, if it's all physical, it's one way. There is a certain intellect involved in it, it's another way. There's a certain emotion involved in it, it's another way. Isn't it so? So that's so with life also. So, these are different levels of intensity. Physical is at one level of intensity, intellectual is another level of intensity, emotion is a different level of intensity. Generally people are looking down upon emotion as something less than intellect. Which is a very wrong thing they're doing. Which I think slowly people are realizing, they're talking about emotional intelligence now. Because emotion is capable of being of a higher intensity then intellect, in many ways. Intellect has a certain coolness, intellect has a certain penetration. But emotion can just embrace everything. Intellect can know pieces of life, emotion can know the wholeness of life. So this is the reason why spiritual traditions, always, have made devotion the biggest thing. Because a devotee looks like a fool for an intellectual person. But what a devotee knows, in terms of life's experience, and what he knows in terms of perception of life in its totality, an intellectual personal will never touch that. So a devotee looks like a fool, but the real fool is elsewhere. So right now what's happening here, when people are around me, is neither intellect, nor emotion, nor body. It's another dimension, which is just pure reverberation of energy.

Transcript: The moment people see you, even from a distance, there's a sudden outpouring of love. Complete outpouring...

... of love. So let's talk about love. This is one kind of a love. What happens? Is there something, is it a release? That could be one thing for this and their own stress and emotion release. On the other hand, is there some kind of energy that you're transmitting to them? Is that energy possible only in a loving relationship? Even between you and the people, or between people themselves. What is that energy called love? And then let's relate it to man and woman because that's the love most of us know. Love or hate, whichever you like. Let's talk about love. There is no such thing as an energy that is love. Life is a certain energy, you're a certain life energy. Many parts of this life energy is finding expression as thought, as body, physical action, emotion. And there are other dimensions, of course. Energy action. If you can perform only physical activity in your life, the span and the scope of that activity is very limited. Because you empower your physical activity with your mental activity, depending upon the keenness and the intensity of your mental activity, your physical activity takes on a different level, as if it moves to a different dimension because of the mental activity. If you make a movie, if it's all physical, it's one way. There is a certain intellect involved in it, it's another way. There's a certain emotion involved in it, it's another way. Isn't it so? So that's so with life also. So, these are different levels of intensity. Physical is at one level of intensity, intellectual is another level of intensity, emotion is a different level of intensity. Generally people are looking down upon emotion as something less than intellect. Which is a very wrong thing they're doing. Which I think slowly people are realizing, they're talking about emotional intelligence now. Because emotion is capable of being of a higher intensity then intellect, in many ways. Intellect has a certain coolness, intellect has a certain penetration. But emotion can just embrace everything. Intellect can know pieces of life, emotion can know the wholeness of life. So this is the reason why spiritual traditions, always, have made devotion the biggest thing. Because a devotee looks like a fool for an intellectual person. But what a devotee knows, in terms of life's experience, and what he knows in terms of perception of life in its totality, an intellectual personal will never touch that. So a devotee looks like a fool, but the real fool is elsewhere. So right now what's happening here, when people are around me, is neither intellect, nor emotion, nor body. It's another dimension, which is just pure reverberation of energy.

December 7, 2020

3:41

Relationships / Video

What is the deepest form of love?

Transcript: Yesterday I went through this amazing experience with you, it was a collective experience. And then I saw your relationship with the meditators who were the volunteers in this incredible course that we did. And there was something that connected you. Now, I've heard stories about this. I've heard that as Jesus walked in, that he spread this love and we always wondered, how could he just spread love?...

... I saw that yesterday. But I saw tears in their eyes, we could explain that. But I saw tears in your eyes because I saw a two-way relationship. So let's just keep with this idea of a guru, and tell me what is this two-way? Because I saw you like a devotee, you know, you were like them. When you were talking, when you went to them, it was not just their emotion, it was yours. See, here you're using the word devotee. I don't know whether they're devoted or not, my life is devoted to them. That's for sure. My whole life is devoted to every human being on this planet, every creature on this planet. So, devotion is just a deeper love affair. When I say a deeper love affair, generally, these days at least, people are understanding a love affair is some kind of a transaction of give and take. Devotion is a deeper love affair of just absolutely giving. Whether take is there or not just doesn't matter and it doesn't occur in your mind. So, for me, my love affair is just with everything that I set my eyes upon. Whether it's a man, woman, child, animate, inanimate, it doesn't matter. Whatever I set my eyes upon, I'm in a deep embrace with that. So for me to come to tears, I don't even have to look at a human being. If I look at a cloud, I'll come to tears. If I look at a tree, I come to tears. If I close my eyes, I'll come to tears. So, tears is not even about love. If you tell me I'm in love with people, I wouldn't feel that's a great thing. I feel you're lowering the whole thing. I'm not in love, because love is still a kind of a transaction. This is a certain dimension of inclusiveness. Actually, in my experience, there is nobody else in this planet, nobody else in this existence, it's just me. In my experience. I don't see myself and somebody else, I just see myself. So this is not even devotion, this is not even love, this is just inclusiveness. And this is not my idea, this is not my philosophy, this is the way existence is. If you do not constipate your consciousness by being identified with limited things, like your own body, your own mind, your own culture, your own religion, your own family, your own whatever. Your own species, for that matter. If you do not constipate your consciousness with that kind of limitations, the existence is all inclusive. Well, science can prove it to you today. Isn't it?

Transcript: Yesterday I went through this amazing experience with you, it was a collective experience. And then I...

... saw your relationship with the meditators who were the volunteers in this incredible course that we did. And there was something that connected you. Now, I've heard stories about this. I've heard that as Jesus walked in, that he spread this love and we always wondered, how could he just spread love? I saw that yesterday. But I saw tears in their eyes, we could explain that. But I saw tears in your eyes because I saw a two-way relationship. So let's just keep with this idea of a guru, and tell me what is this two-way? Because I saw you like a devotee, you know, you were like them. When you were talking, when you went to them, it was not just their emotion, it was yours. See, here you're using the word devotee. I don't know whether they're devoted or not, my life is devoted to them. That's for sure. My whole life is devoted to every human being on this planet, every creature on this planet. So, devotion is just a deeper love affair. When I say a deeper love affair, generally, these days at least, people are understanding a love affair is some kind of a transaction of give and take. Devotion is a deeper love affair of just absolutely giving. Whether take is there or not just doesn't matter and it doesn't occur in your mind. So, for me, my love affair is just with everything that I set my eyes upon. Whether it's a man, woman, child, animate, inanimate, it doesn't matter. Whatever I set my eyes upon, I'm in a deep embrace with that. So for me to come to tears, I don't even have to look at a human being. If I look at a cloud, I'll come to tears. If I look at a tree, I come to tears. If I close my eyes, I'll come to tears. So, tears is not even about love. If you tell me I'm in love with people, I wouldn't feel that's a great thing. I feel you're lowering the whole thing. I'm not in love, because love is still a kind of a transaction. This is a certain dimension of inclusiveness. Actually, in my experience, there is nobody else in this planet, nobody else in this existence, it's just me. In my experience. I don't see myself and somebody else, I just see myself. So this is not even devotion, this is not even love, this is just inclusiveness. And this is not my idea, this is not my philosophy, this is the way existence is. If you do not constipate your consciousness by being identified with limited things, like your own body, your own mind, your own culture, your own religion, your own family, your own whatever. Your own species, for that matter. If you do not constipate your consciousness with that kind of limitations, the existence is all inclusive. Well, science can prove it to you today. Isn't it?

December 6, 2020

3:33

Relationships / Video

What is the opposite of love – hate or attachment?

Transcript: Generally, we are thinking love, hate are two opposite things. But it is not essentially so, they're just the flip side of the coin, you know. Two sides of the coin. So you can't hate somebody that you have nothing to do with. You're in love with somebody and it turns negative for some reason, that's when real hate, isn't it? So is hate opposite to love? In a way it is. But fundamentally it is not....

... In a basic way it is not, on the surface it is. I would say attachment is more against love than hate. You would always connect love and attachment. Love and attachment have nothing to do with each other. Hate and attachment, more connected because if it falls this way, it becomes love, if it falls that way, it becomes hate. Attachment, see, the moment attachment enters your life, anxiety comes. Once anxiety comes, fear follows. Once fear comes, madness will follow. Now your child went to school, supposed to come back at 5 O'clock. 6, not come back, anxiety. 7, not come back, madness. 8, not come back, gone totally insane, isn't it? So suddenly you cannot become mad. It is just that it's always there, it just needs a situation to expose you, that's all. It needs a little extreme situation to expose you. It's always there with you, the moment you enter the attachment, you have entered into madness. But right now, you are always thinking love and attachment. The nature of love, if you want to use an analogy, love is like a flower, you know. If you hold it in your hand, you have to walk carefully. You can't do like this, it'll just fall apart in your hands. You have to walk carefully with it. But attachment is not like that, it is concretized. It is like a plastic flower. Plastic is never flower. You may make it look like that, you may spray perfumes on it, but it's not flower. Flower is that which flowers, isn't it? Plastic is not flower. So if you keep flowers in your house, you have to watch it ten times a day. It's a nuisance actually. But it's life. If you buy plastic flowers, five years guarantee. You don't have to look at it, it's always there. If your children are being very naughty, you can pull it out of the ways and whack them with it. Guests are coming, you can put it back. It just serves all purposes, multi-purpose. It's guaranteed, it's convenient, it's cheaper. In every way it makes sense, but it's not life, that's the big difference.

Transcript: Generally, we are thinking love, hate are two opposite things. But it is not essentially so, they're...

... just the flip side of the coin, you know. Two sides of the coin. So you can't hate somebody that you have nothing to do with. You're in love with somebody and it turns negative for some reason, that's when real hate, isn't it? So is hate opposite to love? In a way it is. But fundamentally it is not. In a basic way it is not, on the surface it is. I would say attachment is more against love than hate. You would always connect love and attachment. Love and attachment have nothing to do with each other. Hate and attachment, more connected because if it falls this way, it becomes love, if it falls that way, it becomes hate. Attachment, see, the moment attachment enters your life, anxiety comes. Once anxiety comes, fear follows. Once fear comes, madness will follow. Now your child went to school, supposed to come back at 5 O'clock. 6, not come back, anxiety. 7, not come back, madness. 8, not come back, gone totally insane, isn't it? So suddenly you cannot become mad. It is just that it's always there, it just needs a situation to expose you, that's all. It needs a little extreme situation to expose you. It's always there with you, the moment you enter the attachment, you have entered into madness. But right now, you are always thinking love and attachment. The nature of love, if you want to use an analogy, love is like a flower, you know. If you hold it in your hand, you have to walk carefully. You can't do like this, it'll just fall apart in your hands. You have to walk carefully with it. But attachment is not like that, it is concretized. It is like a plastic flower. Plastic is never flower. You may make it look like that, you may spray perfumes on it, but it's not flower. Flower is that which flowers, isn't it? Plastic is not flower. So if you keep flowers in your house, you have to watch it ten times a day. It's a nuisance actually. But it's life. If you buy plastic flowers, five years guarantee. You don't have to look at it, it's always there. If your children are being very naughty, you can pull it out of the ways and whack them with it. Guests are coming, you can put it back. It just serves all purposes, multi-purpose. It's guaranteed, it's convenient, it's cheaper. In every way it makes sense, but it's not life, that's the big difference.

November 20, 2020

4:06

Relationships / Video

The ‘I love you’ mantra – a mutual benefit scheme

Transcript: See, people are talking about. They not only love people around them, they love god these days. Now, if you sincerely look at it, all this is just plain survival. Please you have needs to fulfill. Even if you love somebody, you have needs to fulfill, isn't it? Physical, emotional, psychological, financial, social, so many needs to fulfill you have. To fulfill these needs, 'I love you' is always a good...

... mantra. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai went to the park. In the park, on one of the stone benches, a pretty woman was sitting. He went and settled down on the same bench. After a few minutes, he moved closer to her, she moved little away. Few more minutes, again he moved little closer, she moved little away. Now she's at the end of the bench. Now he again moved a little closer. Now the only option is, she has to either get up and leave, or do something else. So she pushed him away. Then Shankaran Pillai waited for a few minutes. Sun was just setting, you know, that evening, twilight, you can say many things. He went down on his knees and told her, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." This twilight zone. If it is in the middle of the afternoon, nobody would believe you. But you know, when the sun is setting, a woman is always a fool for love. She melted. She melted, things happened between them. Then it's nearing 8 O'clock. Shankaran Pillai got up in a hurry, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "What? You're going? You said you love me." As far as she's concerned, the moment he uttered the word 'I love you', they have become one. He said, "No, no I need to go. My wife is waiting. 8 O'clock I have to be there." So, 'I love you' is like that open sesame, you know. You know the story? So to get what you want to get, this is a good mantra. As long as you have needs within you, it doesn't arise. Love doesn't arise, please see. Because wherever you go, you have to fulfill your needs. Needs are there. So the whole effort of yoga, in yoga we never talk about love. Not because there's no value to it, simply because if you try, it will not come. If you transcend your needs, you will naturally become loving. People, whom you claim to love, please see there is an arrangement. It's a mutual benefit scheme. You give me this, I'll give you that. But if you don't give me this, I won't give you that, isn't it so?

Transcript: See, people are talking about. They not only love people around them, they love god these days. Now,...

... if you sincerely look at it, all this is just plain survival. Please you have needs to fulfill. Even if you love somebody, you have needs to fulfill, isn't it? Physical, emotional, psychological, financial, social, so many needs to fulfill you have. To fulfill these needs, 'I love you' is always a good mantra. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai went to the park. In the park, on one of the stone benches, a pretty woman was sitting. He went and settled down on the same bench. After a few minutes, he moved closer to her, she moved little away. Few more minutes, again he moved little closer, she moved little away. Now she's at the end of the bench. Now he again moved a little closer. Now the only option is, she has to either get up and leave, or do something else. So she pushed him away. Then Shankaran Pillai waited for a few minutes. Sun was just setting, you know, that evening, twilight, you can say many things. He went down on his knees and told her, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." This twilight zone. If it is in the middle of the afternoon, nobody would believe you. But you know, when the sun is setting, a woman is always a fool for love. She melted. She melted, things happened between them. Then it's nearing 8 O'clock. Shankaran Pillai got up in a hurry, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "What? You're going? You said you love me." As far as she's concerned, the moment he uttered the word 'I love you', they have become one. He said, "No, no I need to go. My wife is waiting. 8 O'clock I have to be there." So, 'I love you' is like that open sesame, you know. You know the story? So to get what you want to get, this is a good mantra. As long as you have needs within you, it doesn't arise. Love doesn't arise, please see. Because wherever you go, you have to fulfill your needs. Needs are there. So the whole effort of yoga, in yoga we never talk about love. Not because there's no value to it, simply because if you try, it will not come. If you transcend your needs, you will naturally become loving. People, whom you claim to love, please see there is an arrangement. It's a mutual benefit scheme. You give me this, I'll give you that. But if you don't give me this, I won't give you that, isn't it so?

November 17, 2020

3:59

Relationships / Video

How do I know I’m in love? Have you ever fallen in love?

Transcript: See, the english expression you heard, falling in love. The phrase is significant. Falling in love, you don't rise in love, you don't fly in love, you fall in love. Because something of who you are has to go, something of what you think I am, should fall. Only then there is a love affair. You are willing to destroy a bit of yourself for the sake of the other. A bit. Because love means, essentially,...

... somebody else has become far more important than yourself. Only if what you consider as myself false, something far bigger than you happens to you.

Transcript: See, the english expression you heard, falling in love. The phrase is significant. Falling in love, you...

... don't rise in love, you don't fly in love, you fall in love. Because something of who you are has to go, something of what you think I am, should fall. Only then there is a love affair. You are willing to destroy a bit of yourself for the sake of the other. A bit. Because love means, essentially, somebody else has become far more important than yourself. Only if what you consider as myself false, something far bigger than you happens to you.

October 21, 2020

1:18

Relationships / Video

How to handle grief of losing someone dear?

Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance...

... of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.

Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that...

... grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.

September 12, 2020

2:39

Relationships / Video

Is love at first sight real?

Transcript: It means you're in a hurry. It means you're in a big rush. Well, you must understand this. There are many aspects to this. These terminologies come from another time. Love as first sight, what you're talking about, right? Right? Love as first sight was happening very commonly at one time. When the opposite genders would not have seen each other on a daily basis. You only got to see the girl when she...

... was, this is a English scene I'm talking about. When the girl got into the carriage with her parents and you're just looking, and she just looked at you like this. Boom! Thunderbolt. Now she's walking with you, talking with you, studying with you, now it'll take time. And it's good it takes time. More time it takes, the better it is. So, these kind of terminologies come from another time, when there was no exposure between genders. The first girl you saw, boom! So, you may be drawn to a certain person, that is a different thing. But, these things are essentially lack of exposure. If you have sufficient exposure, you will see, you will look at somebody and you don't go boom like that. You will take your tme and it's good. It's good that you take your time to form proper, strong relationships that'll last. See, you make a relationship in life because somewhere you think, two is better than one, isn't it? Two may be better than one for you, but you may be a nuisance in the relationship. Yes? So, before you form any relationship of some gravity in life, first thing is, just look at this one. Is this one good enough for everything in the world? Because youth is the time when you must build this one. Don't be in a rush to live. Don't be in a rush to live when you have to grow. So there is a time to grow and there's a time to live. Too early, if you try to live, then you will see growth will not happen, because growth happens at a certain time very easily. Later on, not that it cannot happen. It will become more difficult because life will engage you in many different ways. So when you're young, when you're studying, this is the time to grow on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, energy wise. You must maximize yourself. Then you try to live. If you try to live too early, you will not become of much substance. If you're not of much substance, the person that you hold relationships with, if they grow well, they will look at you and wonder, why did I get trapped with this one. Yes?

Transcript: It means you're in a hurry. It means you're in a big rush. Well, you must understand this. There are...

... many aspects to this. These terminologies come from another time. Love as first sight, what you're talking about, right? Right? Love as first sight was happening very commonly at one time. When the opposite genders would not have seen each other on a daily basis. You only got to see the girl when she was, this is a English scene I'm talking about. When the girl got into the carriage with her parents and you're just looking, and she just looked at you like this. Boom! Thunderbolt. Now she's walking with you, talking with you, studying with you, now it'll take time. And it's good it takes time. More time it takes, the better it is. So, these kind of terminologies come from another time, when there was no exposure between genders. The first girl you saw, boom! So, you may be drawn to a certain person, that is a different thing. But, these things are essentially lack of exposure. If you have sufficient exposure, you will see, you will look at somebody and you don't go boom like that. You will take your tme and it's good. It's good that you take your time to form proper, strong relationships that'll last. See, you make a relationship in life because somewhere you think, two is better than one, isn't it? Two may be better than one for you, but you may be a nuisance in the relationship. Yes? So, before you form any relationship of some gravity in life, first thing is, just look at this one. Is this one good enough for everything in the world? Because youth is the time when you must build this one. Don't be in a rush to live. Don't be in a rush to live when you have to grow. So there is a time to grow and there's a time to live. Too early, if you try to live, then you will see growth will not happen, because growth happens at a certain time very easily. Later on, not that it cannot happen. It will become more difficult because life will engage you in many different ways. So when you're young, when you're studying, this is the time to grow on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, energy wise. You must maximize yourself. Then you try to live. If you try to live too early, you will not become of much substance. If you're not of much substance, the person that you hold relationships with, if they grow well, they will look at you and wonder, why did I get trapped with this one. Yes?

September 5, 2020

3:56

Relationships / Video

What does it mean to love someone? | Sadhguru at University of Toronto | #4

Synopsis: So, love is like a universal topic. It’s in movies, songs, it seems...

August 26, 2020

9:14

Relationships / Video

I love you is not a cure for fixing your relationship

Transcript: There are two ways to enter into a relationship. One way is, because you want to extract something from somebody. Another way is, because you want to share something with somebody. These are two ways. If you're out to share, your life will be good. If you're out to extract, when they close the tap, it's going to get terrible and nasty. You have seen people who thought they're absolute lovers, how terrible...

... it becomes for many of them. Not because there's anything wrong with them, simply because you started off on the wrong footing. Thinking, this person is the source of my joy. No, no, no. Joy or misery, the source is within you. Yes or no? Whether it's joy or misery, the source is within you. It's for you to decide. If you're a joyful human being, they will also want to be with you. If you're a misery, they will endure you for some time. Shall I tell you a joke? Are you okay? Please Sadhguru. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai. What happened? Was walking in a park in the evening. Sunset time. He saw a young, pretty looking woman sitting on a stone bench. You know the park benches? He also went and sat down, settled down on the same bench. After some time, he moved little close. She moved little away. He allowed a few minutes, and again moved a little closer. She moved little away. Again, he moved closer. Now there was nowhere else to go for her because she was at the end of the bench. She pushed him away. Then he waited for two minutes, just the sun to get to the right angle. Then he went down on his knees and he said, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." You know a woman is a fool for love. And the sun was setting. If it was middle of the afternoon, she won't believe a damn thing. Sun was setting, the ambience was right, and she kind of feeled it. Nature took over, things happened between them. Then he looked at his watch, it was 8 O'clock in the evening. He got up and he said, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "Where are you going? You said you love me." He said, "My wife is waiting, I need to go." So 'I love you', for a whole lot of people, is like that, you know, open sesame. You want to get something. Maybe your needs are physical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or we don't know what else. You have needs to fulfil. So you use this mantra and it works. Half the time it works. I'm saying, it's important, it is important, you know the joy of being loving. Because sweetness of emotion is needed for you. If you want to take really big steps in your life. If you do not have sweetness of love in your heart, believe me, if you try to take big steps in the world, particularly in India, you will end up frustrated and go to Canada.

Transcript: There are two ways to enter into a relationship. One way is, because you want to extract something from...

... somebody. Another way is, because you want to share something with somebody. These are two ways. If you're out to share, your life will be good. If you're out to extract, when they close the tap, it's going to get terrible and nasty. You have seen people who thought they're absolute lovers, how terrible it becomes for many of them. Not because there's anything wrong with them, simply because you started off on the wrong footing. Thinking, this person is the source of my joy. No, no, no. Joy or misery, the source is within you. Yes or no? Whether it's joy or misery, the source is within you. It's for you to decide. If you're a joyful human being, they will also want to be with you. If you're a misery, they will endure you for some time. Shall I tell you a joke? Are you okay? Please Sadhguru. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai. What happened? Was walking in a park in the evening. Sunset time. He saw a young, pretty looking woman sitting on a stone bench. You know the park benches? He also went and sat down, settled down on the same bench. After some time, he moved little close. She moved little away. He allowed a few minutes, and again moved a little closer. She moved little away. Again, he moved closer. Now there was nowhere else to go for her because she was at the end of the bench. She pushed him away. Then he waited for two minutes, just the sun to get to the right angle. Then he went down on his knees and he said, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." You know a woman is a fool for love. And the sun was setting. If it was middle of the afternoon, she won't believe a damn thing. Sun was setting, the ambience was right, and she kind of feeled it. Nature took over, things happened between them. Then he looked at his watch, it was 8 O'clock in the evening. He got up and he said, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "Where are you going? You said you love me." He said, "My wife is waiting, I need to go." So 'I love you', for a whole lot of people, is like that, you know, open sesame. You want to get something. Maybe your needs are physical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or we don't know what else. You have needs to fulfil. So you use this mantra and it works. Half the time it works. I'm saying, it's important, it is important, you know the joy of being loving. Because sweetness of emotion is needed for you. If you want to take really big steps in your life. If you do not have sweetness of love in your heart, believe me, if you try to take big steps in the world, particularly in India, you will end up frustrated and go to Canada.

July 18, 2020

3:50

Relationships / Video

How to find true love? Is this the right person for me?

Transcript: So who is the right person? I don't want to take away all the romance in your life. But, let me tell you this, there is no right person on this planet. If you get into that kind of unrealistic mindset, I have found the right person. Oh, you will be soon disappointed. You must understand, there is no right person. First thing is to see whether, I am the right person. Yes? Am I the right person? And...

... there are no right people on this planet. If you understand, you have your nonsense, they have their nonsense. We can adjust nonsense nonsense. Go on. First and foremost thing is you bring yourself to a place where your experience of life is just pleasant by yourself. You're wonderful. Now, let us see what gets drawn to this one. If you're really wonderful, things will happen in every way, I'm saying. And this whole thing is an American thing, that there is a soulmate somewhere. God made just one more person just for you. But these days every two years he keeps making one more person just for you. Obviously, God is making too many mistakes with you. It once happened, Shankaran Pillai was at the family dinner. And when everybody settled down for dinner, he stood up at the table and announced, "I am going to marry Lucy, who is just across the street." I hope that's not the name. Then the father said, "What? You want to marry Lucy? She has nothing. She's like a tramp. You're going to marry that Lucy." Mother said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy?" The uncle, uncle is always pitching in in these kind of matters. The uncle said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy? Have you seen her hair? It looks fake." The aunt, "Whatt? You're going to marry Lucy? She's always painted. You're going to marry that painted woman?" The little boy, the nephew can't be left out. He says, "You're going to marry Lucy. She doesn't even know what is cricket! How can you marry her?" Shankaran Pillai stood his ground and said, "Yes, I'm going to marry Lucy." Everybody asked in one voice, "Why?" He said, "Because she has no family." There are no many opinions to battle with.

Transcript: So who is the right person? I don't want to take away all the romance in your life. But, let me tell...

... you this, there is no right person on this planet. If you get into that kind of unrealistic mindset, I have found the right person. Oh, you will be soon disappointed. You must understand, there is no right person. First thing is to see whether, I am the right person. Yes? Am I the right person? And there are no right people on this planet. If you understand, you have your nonsense, they have their nonsense. We can adjust nonsense nonsense. Go on. First and foremost thing is you bring yourself to a place where your experience of life is just pleasant by yourself. You're wonderful. Now, let us see what gets drawn to this one. If you're really wonderful, things will happen in every way, I'm saying. And this whole thing is an American thing, that there is a soulmate somewhere. God made just one more person just for you. But these days every two years he keeps making one more person just for you. Obviously, God is making too many mistakes with you. It once happened, Shankaran Pillai was at the family dinner. And when everybody settled down for dinner, he stood up at the table and announced, "I am going to marry Lucy, who is just across the street." I hope that's not the name. Then the father said, "What? You want to marry Lucy? She has nothing. She's like a tramp. You're going to marry that Lucy." Mother said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy?" The uncle, uncle is always pitching in in these kind of matters. The uncle said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy? Have you seen her hair? It looks fake." The aunt, "Whatt? You're going to marry Lucy? She's always painted. You're going to marry that painted woman?" The little boy, the nephew can't be left out. He says, "You're going to marry Lucy. She doesn't even know what is cricket! How can you marry her?" Shankaran Pillai stood his ground and said, "Yes, I'm going to marry Lucy." Everybody asked in one voice, "Why?" He said, "Because she has no family." There are no many opinions to battle with.

July 15, 2020

3:21

Relationships / Video

My partner is never happy with me – no matter what I do

Transcript: Nowhere in the history of humanity, or today, or in anytime in future, will human relationships be absolute. Though every, every person who gets little romantic, believes that this is going to be an absolute relationship. There is no such thing about it. A relationship is a variable, always. You have to conduct it on a daily basis. One day if you don't conduct it properly, it may go somewhere. Yes...

... or no? No, please look at it as it is. You have to conduct it right. So, no I'm doing my best. Obviously somebody feels your best is not good enough for them. No, I want you to come to terms with this. This is not about, I'm not saying what they're doing is right or wrong. That's not for me to say. All I'm saying is, this is how human beings have been functioning for ages, and still are. I'm saying, first of all, you need to understand, relationships will never ever be absolute. They will be variables that you, it's juggling that you have to do. If you're juggling with fireballs, one sometimes, it'll spill out. Takes lot of skill and attention. Yes or no? You're married, many of you. Doesn't it take lot of skill and attention? Yes. If you don't pay any attention, you don't know what the hell is happening. It takes a lot of attention, isn't it? So I'm saying, you need to understand this. A relationship is a variable reality. It is not an absolute reality. If you want to have an absolute relationship, you must hold relationships with the dead. It's time you look deeper, rather than reacting and trying to fix somebody else. Punishing somebody else is not going to transform your life, not going to make your life beautiful in any way. Some sick satisfaction you'll have for two days, after that you'll feel guilty about that also. So don't go that way. This is an opportunity. Somebody is opening up a spiritual dimension for you.

Transcript: Nowhere in the history of humanity, or today, or in anytime in future, will human relationships be absolute....

... Though every, every person who gets little romantic, believes that this is going to be an absolute relationship. There is no such thing about it. A relationship is a variable, always. You have to conduct it on a daily basis. One day if you don't conduct it properly, it may go somewhere. Yes or no? No, please look at it as it is. You have to conduct it right. So, no I'm doing my best. Obviously somebody feels your best is not good enough for them. No, I want you to come to terms with this. This is not about, I'm not saying what they're doing is right or wrong. That's not for me to say. All I'm saying is, this is how human beings have been functioning for ages, and still are. I'm saying, first of all, you need to understand, relationships will never ever be absolute. They will be variables that you, it's juggling that you have to do. If you're juggling with fireballs, one sometimes, it'll spill out. Takes lot of skill and attention. Yes or no? You're married, many of you. Doesn't it take lot of skill and attention? Yes. If you don't pay any attention, you don't know what the hell is happening. It takes a lot of attention, isn't it? So I'm saying, you need to understand this. A relationship is a variable reality. It is not an absolute reality. If you want to have an absolute relationship, you must hold relationships with the dead. It's time you look deeper, rather than reacting and trying to fix somebody else. Punishing somebody else is not going to transform your life, not going to make your life beautiful in any way. Some sick satisfaction you'll have for two days, after that you'll feel guilty about that also. So don't go that way. This is an opportunity. Somebody is opening up a spiritual dimension for you.

July 14, 2020

2:49

Relationships / Video

How to make couple relationships work – Why do they fail?

Transcript: Unfortunately today we have imbibed this, from the West again, that if you utter the word relationship, people are generally thinking of body-based relationships. Or in some way, it has to be between a man and a woman, or whatever else. But essetially, body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they're body-based relationships, usually the excitement about each other's body...

... will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate, is not ultimate after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of it. Then, when the main draw which brought people together is kind of melting away, without knowing why they start being unpleasant to each other. Because essentially such a relationship is towards extracting sweetness from another person. Extracting happiness from another person. So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody, after some time you find when it doesn't yield the same result as it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important when you're young, certain things may happen as you start growing older. When I say older, from yesterday to today, you're older. So today you must be thinking in terms of, that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships. Any kind of relationship that you hold, if relationship is based on your expression of joy, not on extraction of joy. For this, you must become joyful by your own nature first of all. If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant overflow of joy, if it so and your relationship is only about sharing this, then you don't have to worry about the normal circus that people go through in terms of relationships. Managing relationships means, in day to day life a relationship may not stay just in one area of life. Once people are together, they will have to share many things. Naturally, you will start stepping on each other's toes for many many small things that happen. Because of this there will be many interactions or you can even call them altercations. They will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis. People think they can manage, after some time you will see you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in such a way that you're a natural exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen. And relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get you're not getting. If you eliminate this need within you. That you are a natural overflow of joy. If this one thing you do, you can have fabulous relationships with every kind of people, irespective of who they are. They don't have to be your kind. With all sorts of people you can hold wonderful relationships.

Transcript: Unfortunately today we have imbibed this, from the West again, that if you utter the word relationship,...

... people are generally thinking of body-based relationships. Or in some way, it has to be between a man and a woman, or whatever else. But essetially, body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they're body-based relationships, usually the excitement about each other's body will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate, is not ultimate after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of it. Then, when the main draw which brought people together is kind of melting away, without knowing why they start being unpleasant to each other. Because essentially such a relationship is towards extracting sweetness from another person. Extracting happiness from another person. So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody, after some time you find when it doesn't yield the same result as it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important when you're young, certain things may happen as you start growing older. When I say older, from yesterday to today, you're older. So today you must be thinking in terms of, that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships. Any kind of relationship that you hold, if relationship is based on your expression of joy, not on extraction of joy. For this, you must become joyful by your own nature first of all. If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant overflow of joy, if it so and your relationship is only about sharing this, then you don't have to worry about the normal circus that people go through in terms of relationships. Managing relationships means, in day to day life a relationship may not stay just in one area of life. Once people are together, they will have to share many things. Naturally, you will start stepping on each other's toes for many many small things that happen. Because of this there will be many interactions or you can even call them altercations. They will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis. People think they can manage, after some time you will see you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in such a way that you're a natural exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen. And relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get you're not getting. If you eliminate this need within you. That you are a natural overflow of joy. If this one thing you do, you can have fabulous relationships with every kind of people, irespective of who they are. They don't have to be your kind. With all sorts of people you can hold wonderful relationships.

July 8, 2020

3:57

Relationships / Video

Multiple heartbreaks will make you distrust people

Transcript: This serial heartbreak business can leave you paranoid about anything. About bonding with anybody in your life. Yes or no? You had serial heartbreaks. It looked like fun for some time, after some time you just don't actually trust anybody in your life. Because another human being is a problem always. Only when our emotions allow you to cross the problem, in some way they get included. But, if we have...

... serial heartbreaks, we will never allow our emotion to cross those barriers, we will always be cautious because anyway this has come with an expiry date. When people come with an expiry date, yes there is an expiry date for all of us. But relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life. So that two people, that means, two brains and two bodies can do better than one in many ways. In various aspects of life, in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship, in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives. In every way, two people can do better than one person, that is the idea. And, of course, nature is pushing us together because nature doesn't care about your love affair, it just wants you to reproduce. You're 10, 12 it's okay. You became 13, and you look like this. Suddenly this is a world by itself. The neighbourhood scrawny girl who didn't mean a damn thing to you, suddenly she is the focus, she's the apple of your eye. Yes? So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones. So it is making funny things happen. It is making you believe all kinds of things. When you look back and see, you'll feel stupid, but it's okay. There's nothing wrong about it. But it's very important that we understand what's happening to us. Otherwise we'll do idiotic things that we may regret later, you know. It is not a question of morality, it is a question of handling our lives sensibly. So reproduction is not the purpose right now, we have kept it aside. But nature's push is towards that. But we have emotional needs, physical needs, psychological needs, maybe financial and social needs. Variety of needs. To conduct these needs in a dignified way. To conduct these needs in a, see once you come as a human being, you can't do things, though they are the same things what the animals do. But we would like to do it more gracefully, consciously. Whether we eat, or we copulate, or we sleep. We like to do it little more aesthetically right. That's the important thing. For that, we need the cooperation of another person, who is also somehow congruent to us. Every two days if you have heartbreaks and going on, well, you must see the trouble of that.

Transcript: This serial heartbreak business can leave you paranoid about anything. About bonding with anybody in...

... your life. Yes or no? You had serial heartbreaks. It looked like fun for some time, after some time you just don't actually trust anybody in your life. Because another human being is a problem always. Only when our emotions allow you to cross the problem, in some way they get included. But, if we have serial heartbreaks, we will never allow our emotion to cross those barriers, we will always be cautious because anyway this has come with an expiry date. When people come with an expiry date, yes there is an expiry date for all of us. But relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life. So that two people, that means, two brains and two bodies can do better than one in many ways. In various aspects of life, in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship, in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives. In every way, two people can do better than one person, that is the idea. And, of course, nature is pushing us together because nature doesn't care about your love affair, it just wants you to reproduce. You're 10, 12 it's okay. You became 13, and you look like this. Suddenly this is a world by itself. The neighbourhood scrawny girl who didn't mean a damn thing to you, suddenly she is the focus, she's the apple of your eye. Yes? So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones. So it is making funny things happen. It is making you believe all kinds of things. When you look back and see, you'll feel stupid, but it's okay. There's nothing wrong about it. But it's very important that we understand what's happening to us. Otherwise we'll do idiotic things that we may regret later, you know. It is not a question of morality, it is a question of handling our lives sensibly. So reproduction is not the purpose right now, we have kept it aside. But nature's push is towards that. But we have emotional needs, physical needs, psychological needs, maybe financial and social needs. Variety of needs. To conduct these needs in a dignified way. To conduct these needs in a, see once you come as a human being, you can't do things, though they are the same things what the animals do. But we would like to do it more gracefully, consciously. Whether we eat, or we copulate, or we sleep. We like to do it little more aesthetically right. That's the important thing. For that, we need the cooperation of another person, who is also somehow congruent to us. Every two days if you have heartbreaks and going on, well, you must see the trouble of that.

July 7, 2020

3:42

Relationships / Video

How to find real love?

Transcript: We have one question from the social media, the Facebook. Amit Madhan wants to know, in this materialistic age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others? Forget about others. If you, if you learn to be loving by your own nature, not...

... because of somebody else or something else. I know the question is coming from Facebook, there's enomous possibility. You can even love those people who don't even exist. So I'm saying there's a tremendous possibility. So, if you just become love, not love somebody then you will know the nature of love. If you love somebody, it's a fickle happening because no human being will happen 100% the way you want them. Every human being on this planet is going to disappoint you, believe me. Not because they'll do something wrong, because nobody can fulfil the unrealistic expectation you have of them. It's simply not possible. Have you been able to fulfil anybody's expectation? I'm asking you, entirely? Partially. But never entirely, isn't it? So nobody else will be able to do it. Unless you're still such a hopeless romantic, you're still waiting. That ideal person is going to come from somewhere. No. Believe me, whoever comes. I want you to know, the ideal people, whom you worship. When Krishna was there, his wives complained. Alright? So there is no hope for us. Yes, please remember this.

Transcript: We have one question from the social media, the Facebook. Amit Madhan wants to know, in this materialistic...

... age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others? Forget about others. If you, if you learn to be loving by your own nature, not because of somebody else or something else. I know the question is coming from Facebook, there's enomous possibility. You can even love those people who don't even exist. So I'm saying there's a tremendous possibility. So, if you just become love, not love somebody then you will know the nature of love. If you love somebody, it's a fickle happening because no human being will happen 100% the way you want them. Every human being on this planet is going to disappoint you, believe me. Not because they'll do something wrong, because nobody can fulfil the unrealistic expectation you have of them. It's simply not possible. Have you been able to fulfil anybody's expectation? I'm asking you, entirely? Partially. But never entirely, isn't it? So nobody else will be able to do it. Unless you're still such a hopeless romantic, you're still waiting. That ideal person is going to come from somewhere. No. Believe me, whoever comes. I want you to know, the ideal people, whom you worship. When Krishna was there, his wives complained. Alright? So there is no hope for us. Yes, please remember this.

July 4, 2020

2:17

Relationships / Video

Why do loving relationships turn bitter?

Transcript: There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home. And for it to be well coordinated, certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is with an enormous level of connectedness. Not emotional. Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed, it is the juice of life. You don't make your emotions work, you should not make them work. You can make...

... your thought work, you can make your body work. Don't try to make your emotions work. Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, isn't it? Yes or no? Initially 'I love you' works. After some time, you're trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets. Because emotion is not for work, emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work, emotions just there. The flowers need not work, they're just there. That's all. Emotion is like that, it's just there. Pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly. The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opiniated. It will not work like that. Fundamental mechanics are wrong, so how will it work?

Transcript: There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home. And for it to be well coordinated,...

... certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is with an enormous level of connectedness. Not emotional. Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed, it is the juice of life. You don't make your emotions work, you should not make them work. You can make your thought work, you can make your body work. Don't try to make your emotions work. Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, isn't it? Yes or no? Initially 'I love you' works. After some time, you're trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets. Because emotion is not for work, emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work, emotions just there. The flowers need not work, they're just there. That's all. Emotion is like that, it's just there. Pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly. The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opiniated. It will not work like that. Fundamental mechanics are wrong, so how will it work?

June 29, 2020

2:19

Relationships / Video

What is the right age to have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Synopsis: During a Youth and Truth event, a student asks Sadhguru - "What is the right age to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"Sadhguru says, today it has become like this, that when we say 'relationship', by default everyone assumes that the reference is to a body based relationship. One can have beautiful relationships without involving with your body! Sadhguru says, when you are in college, your focus should...

... be to enhance yourself to your full potential. So unless you have a huge compulsiveness for a sexual relationship, otherwise these things will become a big diversion for you.

Synopsis: During a Youth and Truth event, a student asks Sadhguru - "What is the right age to have a boyfriend...

... or a girlfriend?"Sadhguru says, today it has become like this, that when we say 'relationship', by default everyone assumes that the reference is to a body based relationship. One can have beautiful relationships without involving with your body! Sadhguru says, when you are in college, your focus should be to enhance yourself to your full potential. So unless you have a huge compulsiveness for a sexual relationship, otherwise these things will become a big diversion for you.

May 30, 2019

10:30

Articles

Article / Relationships / Storytelling

Love – Decoded! Is Love a need? Is unconditional love possible?

This is a wonderful article in which Sadhguru explains what 'love' really is! Sadhguru says - "You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go.", you can only fall in love, not rise in love. Through three engaging stories Sadhguru tells us what us unconditional love, and is it possible; is there any relation between gratitude and love; is love a human need. Finally, Sadhguru tells us that 'love' is a very fragile dimension of life, and needs to be handled gently.

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November 20, 2020

13 min read

Article / Wisdom For Seekers

How To Move From Lust To Love?

Lust is a strong need. Love is not a need. Today, people are physically inactive. Unlike earlier times, everything physical needed for survival is already taken care of. This has made people neurotic, because the energy is not worked out - it is trapped. Sadhguru says - "When you love, you settle down, nothing more is needed. You can just sit here for a lifetime. With lust you cannot sit anywhere. You either get into some mad action, or you are bound to go crazy". So, either, one works out the energy through physical activity, or another way is to simply drop it and move ahead - this is meditation.

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November 22, 2019

4 min read

Article / Relationships

Are Marriages made in heaven?

Does a perfect companion exists and has God already chosen the 'right' person already for you? People may seek a mate for physical, mental or emotional reasons- but it will be wise to recognise the limitations that exists between relationships and truly understand what 'Love' is. A 'Soul', which is complete and boundless does not need a mate. Sadhguru looks at the whole idea of 'Soulmate', love and why people come together.

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February 14, 2019

3 min read

Article / Life Wisdom / Relationships

Amish Tripathi – How To Deal With The Loss Of a Someone Close To Us?

Grief is about a loss - loss of possession, positions, professions and of course loved ones. If we lose someone to death, then it cannot be replaced - so the grief becomes more profound. Sadhguru says - the way we have defined "who we are" - is based on our possessions, positions and relationships. Relationships should not become an instrument to fill our lives - rather they should come from the basis of our completeness. This needs to be cultivated throughout life - this is what a spiritual process means.

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September 10, 2018

2 min read

Article / Relationships

Mouni Roy – Why Are Relationships Becoming Fickle Today?

Relationships can be of many kinds; but these days the word "relationship" largely connotes a body-based relationship. Once the relationship is body-based, usually the excitement about each other's body will die after some time. Once that happens, the relationship starts to fall apart. So you must look at relationships in terms of an expression of joy, and for that to happen you must first become joyful by your own nature. Once your relationship is not need-based, and you are naturally joyful, you can hold wonderful relationships with everyone!

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September 1, 2018

3 min read

Article / Relationships

What Is Love?

What is love? And what is unconditional love - if there is such a thing! Is love just one more need, which has been glorified? Sadhguru narrates a beautiful and touching story of a king and his loving wife. He also elaborates on the science of 'mangalsutra', and how it is a tool for two beings to get entwined, and sadly how the science has been lost now. So, is love the goal of life? Sadhguru clarifies...

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June 11, 2018

9 min read

Article / Death / Life Wisdom / Storytelling

How to Deal With Passing Away of a Loved One?

It is important to always be aware that nobody is going to be around forever! People who are close to us, have enhanced our lives in some ways. So, if those who have enhanced our lives pass away, or leave us, we must cherish them joyfully, and not grieve their exit. Whatever wonderful things they meant for you, you must express those to people who are still living around you. Sadhguru shares a beautiful story about Narada and Krishna, to illustrate that in some way all relationships are an illusion!

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May 18, 2018

9 min read

Article / Relationships / Storytelling

What Is Unconditional Love?

Sadhguru tells us that, this concept of unconditional love, is grossly misunderstood. There is nothing like conditional love, or unconditional love. He says - "There is either love or no love. Either you know love in your life or you know a mutual benefit scheme"! All relationships are transactions, and we must manage them gracefully. Sadhguru narrates a beautiful and touching story (from her grandmother) to highlight this aspect. Sadhguru says - "Do not get lost in ideas of unconditional love. Love itself is a condition."

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January 1, 2018

6 min read

Article / Relationships / Storytelling