FILED IN
Relationships
Talks
How to handle grief of losing someone dear?
Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance...
show more...
... of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.
Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that...
show more...
... grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.
September 12, 2020
2:39
PDA – Is public display of affection ok?
Transcript: You said, today young people have relationships. Unfortunately, you have come to a place where you think that a relationship means it must be body-based. There must be something biologically involved. Biology is a part of our life. The significance of becoming human, compared to other creatures is, they're complete biology. We are only part biology. We have other dimensions to us. We have an intelligence,...
show more...
... we have an emotion, we have a consciousness, which is of another dimension. Biology is only one part of us. If an earthworm says I have a relationship and if both of them tangle each other, I understand. If a human being says I have a relationship, it could be a friend, it could be a brother, it could be a sister, it could be variety of relationships. And also, body-based relationships. So this thing about using the word relationship only with biological stuff is essentially because somewhere unknowingly, unknowingly, maybe because of the internet, you got enslaved to America. It all started in United States. Relationship means, it has to be opposite sex, or something sexual. Why can't we hold relationships of other kind? Hello? Are we not capable? I'm asking. Can't we have very intimate, profound relationships with people, without fondling their bodies? I'm asking. Possible or no? Yes. Biology is not the most prominent aspect of being human. It is there. It's not something that you can, you know, put under the carpet. It is very much there. But, it is not the dominant aspect of being human. With other creatures it is so. With the human being, the most significant aspect of who we are is our intelligence, our emotion, our consciousness. These are big things. Body is just one part of it. I'm not saying you must ignore the body, body is there. Now when you say, young people. You're talking about those people whose intelligence has been hijacked by hormones. When you were 10 years of age, you looked at people, everybody was fine. Quite okay. You became 14-15, you looked at them. Every little bump on their body suddenly became a world by itself. Yes or no? You have to wait for some more time. When the hormonal thing goes down, then you look at people, again they're all looking normal. So, it's not a question of right and wrong. It's not a question of morality. It is just a question of priority. What kind of priority do you want to give to your own bodily compulsions?
Transcript: You said, today young people have relationships. Unfortunately, you have come to a place where you think...
show more...
... that a relationship means it must be body-based. There must be something biologically involved. Biology is a part of our life. The significance of becoming human, compared to other creatures is, they're complete biology. We are only part biology. We have other dimensions to us. We have an intelligence, we have an emotion, we have a consciousness, which is of another dimension. Biology is only one part of us. If an earthworm says I have a relationship and if both of them tangle each other, I understand. If a human being says I have a relationship, it could be a friend, it could be a brother, it could be a sister, it could be variety of relationships. And also, body-based relationships. So this thing about using the word relationship only with biological stuff is essentially because somewhere unknowingly, unknowingly, maybe because of the internet, you got enslaved to America. It all started in United States. Relationship means, it has to be opposite sex, or something sexual. Why can't we hold relationships of other kind? Hello? Are we not capable? I'm asking. Can't we have very intimate, profound relationships with people, without fondling their bodies? I'm asking. Possible or no? Yes. Biology is not the most prominent aspect of being human. It is there. It's not something that you can, you know, put under the carpet. It is very much there. But, it is not the dominant aspect of being human. With other creatures it is so. With the human being, the most significant aspect of who we are is our intelligence, our emotion, our consciousness. These are big things. Body is just one part of it. I'm not saying you must ignore the body, body is there. Now when you say, young people. You're talking about those people whose intelligence has been hijacked by hormones. When you were 10 years of age, you looked at people, everybody was fine. Quite okay. You became 14-15, you looked at them. Every little bump on their body suddenly became a world by itself. Yes or no? You have to wait for some more time. When the hormonal thing goes down, then you look at people, again they're all looking normal. So, it's not a question of right and wrong. It's not a question of morality. It is just a question of priority. What kind of priority do you want to give to your own bodily compulsions?
September 7, 2020
3:37
Is love at first sight real?
Transcript: It means you're in a hurry. It means you're in a big rush. Well, you must understand this. There are many aspects to this. These terminologies come from another time. Love as first sight, what you're talking about, right? Right? Love as first sight was happening very commonly at one time. When the opposite genders would not have seen each other on a daily basis. You only got to see the girl when she...
show more...
... was, this is a English scene I'm talking about. When the girl got into the carriage with her parents and you're just looking, and she just looked at you like this. Boom! Thunderbolt. Now she's walking with you, talking with you, studying with you, now it'll take time. And it's good it takes time. More time it takes, the better it is. So, these kind of terminologies come from another time, when there was no exposure between genders. The first girl you saw, boom! So, you may be drawn to a certain person, that is a different thing. But, these things are essentially lack of exposure. If you have sufficient exposure, you will see, you will look at somebody and you don't go boom like that. You will take your tme and it's good. It's good that you take your time to form proper, strong relationships that'll last. See, you make a relationship in life because somewhere you think, two is better than one, isn't it? Two may be better than one for you, but you may be a nuisance in the relationship. Yes? So, before you form any relationship of some gravity in life, first thing is, just look at this one. Is this one good enough for everything in the world? Because youth is the time when you must build this one. Don't be in a rush to live. Don't be in a rush to live when you have to grow. So there is a time to grow and there's a time to live. Too early, if you try to live, then you will see growth will not happen, because growth happens at a certain time very easily. Later on, not that it cannot happen. It will become more difficult because life will engage you in many different ways. So when you're young, when you're studying, this is the time to grow on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, energy wise. You must maximize yourself. Then you try to live. If you try to live too early, you will not become of much substance. If you're not of much substance, the person that you hold relationships with, if they grow well, they will look at you and wonder, why did I get trapped with this one. Yes?
Transcript: It means you're in a hurry. It means you're in a big rush. Well, you must understand this. There are...
show more...
... many aspects to this. These terminologies come from another time. Love as first sight, what you're talking about, right? Right? Love as first sight was happening very commonly at one time. When the opposite genders would not have seen each other on a daily basis. You only got to see the girl when she was, this is a English scene I'm talking about. When the girl got into the carriage with her parents and you're just looking, and she just looked at you like this. Boom! Thunderbolt. Now she's walking with you, talking with you, studying with you, now it'll take time. And it's good it takes time. More time it takes, the better it is. So, these kind of terminologies come from another time, when there was no exposure between genders. The first girl you saw, boom! So, you may be drawn to a certain person, that is a different thing. But, these things are essentially lack of exposure. If you have sufficient exposure, you will see, you will look at somebody and you don't go boom like that. You will take your tme and it's good. It's good that you take your time to form proper, strong relationships that'll last. See, you make a relationship in life because somewhere you think, two is better than one, isn't it? Two may be better than one for you, but you may be a nuisance in the relationship. Yes? So, before you form any relationship of some gravity in life, first thing is, just look at this one. Is this one good enough for everything in the world? Because youth is the time when you must build this one. Don't be in a rush to live. Don't be in a rush to live when you have to grow. So there is a time to grow and there's a time to live. Too early, if you try to live, then you will see growth will not happen, because growth happens at a certain time very easily. Later on, not that it cannot happen. It will become more difficult because life will engage you in many different ways. So when you're young, when you're studying, this is the time to grow on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, energy wise. You must maximize yourself. Then you try to live. If you try to live too early, you will not become of much substance. If you're not of much substance, the person that you hold relationships with, if they grow well, they will look at you and wonder, why did I get trapped with this one. Yes?
September 5, 2020
3:56
Causal Sex – What is wrong with having casual physical relationships?
Transcript: So this body memory, traditionally in this culture we call this Runanbandan. That means, physical memory that you build. You can either consciously build your physical memory or you can simply take in wild amounts of memory and go through lots of physical confusion. Because, if I as much as touch this, this memory, it remembers. You try this with four of your friends. You touch their hands. Don't try...
show more...
... to consciously remember. Everyday touch their hands and forget about it. Tomorrow if that person comes and touches you, you know it's this hand, isn't it? So the body remembers, it's not the mind. The physical body remembers, this is called as Runanbandan. When there is a sexual interaction, or there is any kind of intimacy which involves thought, emotion, and body, the amount of memory that is left in your system is very big. It is from this context they said, you must keep this as simple as possible. There are other aspects where in certain tantric process and all, they're involving. They're preparing themselves for years to distance themselves from the body in such a way that the body doesn't pick up anything from anywhere. This is being done like a sadhana, not as sexual promiscuity. So the question is not of morality. The question is of, what is it that you want to do with yourself in your life. If you want to be in such a way that in your life your inner intelligence will be the most dominant thing in your life, not your physical body, then you must keep the body's memory as simple as possible. This is why simple types of food, you know people go into very simple kind of food, not complicated. Even now, I eat one meal a day and I eat only one item in the meal. I won't eat ten. I may eat all of those things another day, but today I'll eat only one item. Because it makes a huge, just experiment and see don't go by what I'm saying. Just experiment, and especially when your examination time comes, eat simple food and see what a difference it makes. For your intelligence, how it functions, how alert you are, everything. So what is it that you're trying to build yourself to. Do you want to build yourself to be a sexual supernova? Or, no I'm saying, some people may have that intention. That's upto them. But what is it that you want to do with your life is something that you must decide. If you have decided that, it's very, very important that you don't unconsciously pick up enormous amount of memory because this will lead to. Later on you will see, it'll become very difficult to remain peaceful and joyful in your life, no matter what good things may be happening. Simply because there is confusing memories in the system. When, something else of similar nature comes, the body goes into a turmoil of confusion. It may not translate into your mind. Just physically, it will go on. So, it's a choice that one has to make. It's not a question of morality, it is a question of living sensibly.
Transcript: So this body memory, traditionally in this culture we call this Runanbandan. That means, physical memory...
show more...
... that you build. You can either consciously build your physical memory or you can simply take in wild amounts of memory and go through lots of physical confusion. Because, if I as much as touch this, this memory, it remembers. You try this with four of your friends. You touch their hands. Don't try to consciously remember. Everyday touch their hands and forget about it. Tomorrow if that person comes and touches you, you know it's this hand, isn't it? So the body remembers, it's not the mind. The physical body remembers, this is called as Runanbandan. When there is a sexual interaction, or there is any kind of intimacy which involves thought, emotion, and body, the amount of memory that is left in your system is very big. It is from this context they said, you must keep this as simple as possible. There are other aspects where in certain tantric process and all, they're involving. They're preparing themselves for years to distance themselves from the body in such a way that the body doesn't pick up anything from anywhere. This is being done like a sadhana, not as sexual promiscuity. So the question is not of morality. The question is of, what is it that you want to do with yourself in your life. If you want to be in such a way that in your life your inner intelligence will be the most dominant thing in your life, not your physical body, then you must keep the body's memory as simple as possible. This is why simple types of food, you know people go into very simple kind of food, not complicated. Even now, I eat one meal a day and I eat only one item in the meal. I won't eat ten. I may eat all of those things another day, but today I'll eat only one item. Because it makes a huge, just experiment and see don't go by what I'm saying. Just experiment, and especially when your examination time comes, eat simple food and see what a difference it makes. For your intelligence, how it functions, how alert you are, everything. So what is it that you're trying to build yourself to. Do you want to build yourself to be a sexual supernova? Or, no I'm saying, some people may have that intention. That's upto them. But what is it that you want to do with your life is something that you must decide. If you have decided that, it's very, very important that you don't unconsciously pick up enormous amount of memory because this will lead to. Later on you will see, it'll become very difficult to remain peaceful and joyful in your life, no matter what good things may be happening. Simply because there is confusing memories in the system. When, something else of similar nature comes, the body goes into a turmoil of confusion. It may not translate into your mind. Just physically, it will go on. So, it's a choice that one has to make. It's not a question of morality, it is a question of living sensibly.
August 30, 2020
3:41
What to do when my beloved betrays me?
Transcript: See somebody can betray you or you can think they betrayed you. Only because you have unrealistic expectations of them. Well, if they do what they want to do, why do you think they have betrayed you? They're doing what they want to do. You must respect it. If you say, they're beloved to me, I love them. If you love a person, should you let them do what they want to do or should they do what you want...
show more...
... them to do? For most people love means, you must do what I want. No, no. Love means they can do what they want and we will love them. Isn't it? You have this thing that if I love you, you must listen to me. No, no. If I love you, I want you to do what brings joy to you. Isn't it? Just change the concept of your beloved. But Sadhguru, I have a doubt regarding this. What if allowance or going in a way that's not good for them and we want to correct them, and that's why we're telling them. Then you should have been the mother. Because I'm not saying that it is never true that somebody may be going off track and you try to do something for them. I'm not saying it's never true. But you don't take this position that somebody is wrong and you're going to fix them. They're doing what they want to do. Isn't it? What they want to do right now may not be benefitial for them. Possible. But you must look at it sincerely. Are you complaining because it's not benefitial for them? Or you're complaining because it's not benefitial for you? Most of the time it's this. Genuinely look at it, it's not benefitial for you but it's good for them, please let them do it. But, they're damaging themselves, yes then you have a right to intervene and try to do your best. But not always. Not always can you enter somebody's life and do something for them. If I have to enter your life and do something for you, I have to earn it, isn't it? I have to earn a relationship where I can intervene in your life. If you don't earn that, you cannot intervene. So if you're unable to intervene, you must just understand you've not earned that closeness.
Transcript: See somebody can betray you or you can think they betrayed you. Only because you have unrealistic expectations...
show more...
... of them. Well, if they do what they want to do, why do you think they have betrayed you? They're doing what they want to do. You must respect it. If you say, they're beloved to me, I love them. If you love a person, should you let them do what they want to do or should they do what you want them to do? For most people love means, you must do what I want. No, no. Love means they can do what they want and we will love them. Isn't it? You have this thing that if I love you, you must listen to me. No, no. If I love you, I want you to do what brings joy to you. Isn't it? Just change the concept of your beloved. But Sadhguru, I have a doubt regarding this. What if allowance or going in a way that's not good for them and we want to correct them, and that's why we're telling them. Then you should have been the mother. Because I'm not saying that it is never true that somebody may be going off track and you try to do something for them. I'm not saying it's never true. But you don't take this position that somebody is wrong and you're going to fix them. They're doing what they want to do. Isn't it? What they want to do right now may not be benefitial for them. Possible. But you must look at it sincerely. Are you complaining because it's not benefitial for them? Or you're complaining because it's not benefitial for you? Most of the time it's this. Genuinely look at it, it's not benefitial for you but it's good for them, please let them do it. But, they're damaging themselves, yes then you have a right to intervene and try to do your best. But not always. Not always can you enter somebody's life and do something for them. If I have to enter your life and do something for you, I have to earn it, isn't it? I have to earn a relationship where I can intervene in your life. If you don't earn that, you cannot intervene. So if you're unable to intervene, you must just understand you've not earned that closeness.
August 29, 2020
3:14
Arranged marriage or Love marriage – which is a better?
Transcript: Marriage is not about how it happened, who arranged it. Your parents arranged it, or a commercial website arranged it, a dating app arranged it, or a local bar arranged it when you were fuzzy. Or your confused friends arranged it, or your confused self arranged it. Well, anyway, it's an arrangement. It is best it is arranged by responsible, sensible people. This idea, arranged marriage means some kind...
show more...
... of a slavery. Well, that depends. As there are exploitative people everywhere, sometimes your parents themselves may be exploitative, they may be doing things for their own reasons. Their stupid prestige, their wealth, their nonsense. They may be doing it for those reasons. So, this whole debate about, is arrange marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better. Well, I think when you're not little for doubt, I think your decisions are little better. If an 18-20 year old man or woman, young man or young woman want to marry, who will they marry? Their contact is just there. Within those 10 people that they know in their life, one guy or one girl you marry. Within 3 months you will know. But in most countries, there is a law, at least 2 years you must suffer. It's like a jail term. If you make a mistake, at least 2 years you must suffer. Then only you can divorce. Most nations have this. Well, many religions have fixed it that divorce is completely wrong. You cannot divorce. But, where such religions are practiced, there the divorce rates are highest. So, God's dictates are not able to stop the break ups. Law is not able to stop the break ups. You need to understand this, when parents organize, you must, I'm asking you a basic question. Do you believe, their judgement may not be the best, but parents have the best interest of yours. But if you have matured beyond them, that's different. You can make your own decisions. But, arranged marriage is a wrong terminology. All marriages are arranged. By whom, is the only question. I think it's best it's arrange by people who are most concerned about your well-being. Who have a larger reach of, because you can't find the best man, or the best woman in the world. Because we don't know where the hell they are.
Transcript: Marriage is not about how it happened, who arranged it. Your parents arranged it, or a commercial website...
show more...
... arranged it, a dating app arranged it, or a local bar arranged it when you were fuzzy. Or your confused friends arranged it, or your confused self arranged it. Well, anyway, it's an arrangement. It is best it is arranged by responsible, sensible people. This idea, arranged marriage means some kind of a slavery. Well, that depends. As there are exploitative people everywhere, sometimes your parents themselves may be exploitative, they may be doing things for their own reasons. Their stupid prestige, their wealth, their nonsense. They may be doing it for those reasons. So, this whole debate about, is arrange marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better. Well, I think when you're not little for doubt, I think your decisions are little better. If an 18-20 year old man or woman, young man or young woman want to marry, who will they marry? Their contact is just there. Within those 10 people that they know in their life, one guy or one girl you marry. Within 3 months you will know. But in most countries, there is a law, at least 2 years you must suffer. It's like a jail term. If you make a mistake, at least 2 years you must suffer. Then only you can divorce. Most nations have this. Well, many religions have fixed it that divorce is completely wrong. You cannot divorce. But, where such religions are practiced, there the divorce rates are highest. So, God's dictates are not able to stop the break ups. Law is not able to stop the break ups. You need to understand this, when parents organize, you must, I'm asking you a basic question. Do you believe, their judgement may not be the best, but parents have the best interest of yours. But if you have matured beyond them, that's different. You can make your own decisions. But, arranged marriage is a wrong terminology. All marriages are arranged. By whom, is the only question. I think it's best it's arrange by people who are most concerned about your well-being. Who have a larger reach of, because you can't find the best man, or the best woman in the world. Because we don't know where the hell they are.
August 24, 2020
3:39
Are marriages made in heaven?
Transcript: Where all they've been saying marriages are made in heaven. But you're cooking hell within you. Marriage is made in heaven. That's why a lot of people want to go there soon. Because it's made there, they want to go there and settle it. No. You need to understand, to fulfil you needs. Physical, psychological, emotional, social, and various other needs. You're coming together. If you always remember...
show more...
... to fulfil my needs, I'm with you, you will conduct this responsibly. Initially you're like that. After some time you think, he or she needs you. Then you will start acting vanterly. Then, of course, ugliness will start in many different ways. This happened. A young man and a very young woman got engaged. So once the, not like this, there must be a stone. Once the ring went in, the lady held his hand and said, "You can lean on me to share your pains, your struggles, your, whatever sufferings you go through. You can always share with me." The guy said, "Well, I don't have any struggles, or pains, or problems." She said, "Well, we're not yet married." So, if you think you're full of pain, struggles, problems, and you need somebody to lean on, well that'll be trouble. You make yourself into a joyful, wonderful human being, then you will see, your work also will be wonderful, your home also will be wonderful, your marriage will be wonderful. Everything will be wonderful because you are. Without fixing this, you think somebody else is going to fix you, then there's going to be trouble for you. And of course, an unfortunate consequence for the other person.
Transcript: Where all they've been saying marriages are made in heaven. But you're cooking hell within you. Marriage...
show more...
... is made in heaven. That's why a lot of people want to go there soon. Because it's made there, they want to go there and settle it. No. You need to understand, to fulfil you needs. Physical, psychological, emotional, social, and various other needs. You're coming together. If you always remember to fulfil my needs, I'm with you, you will conduct this responsibly. Initially you're like that. After some time you think, he or she needs you. Then you will start acting vanterly. Then, of course, ugliness will start in many different ways. This happened. A young man and a very young woman got engaged. So once the, not like this, there must be a stone. Once the ring went in, the lady held his hand and said, "You can lean on me to share your pains, your struggles, your, whatever sufferings you go through. You can always share with me." The guy said, "Well, I don't have any struggles, or pains, or problems." She said, "Well, we're not yet married." So, if you think you're full of pain, struggles, problems, and you need somebody to lean on, well that'll be trouble. You make yourself into a joyful, wonderful human being, then you will see, your work also will be wonderful, your home also will be wonderful, your marriage will be wonderful. Everything will be wonderful because you are. Without fixing this, you think somebody else is going to fix you, then there's going to be trouble for you. And of course, an unfortunate consequence for the other person.
August 23, 2020
2:54
Why should I have only one partner? Is one-partner a thing of the past?
Transcript: Well, monogamy and polygamy or whatever kind of gamy, if you want to see. The important thing we need to understand is, you know, we are all here. You and me are here. This means a man and woman came together some time ago. Maybe, you think, oh they're parents you know. They don't love, they don't do sex, they don't do anything. Just because a priest uttered a mantra, you were born, probably. No, it's...
show more...
... not like that. Somebody has a physical need, so handle it through marriage, and we're here. When you become 18, you become always against marriage. But when you were 3 years of age, you were for marriage. Your parents' marriage. When you were 3 years of age, were you not glad your parents had a stable marriage? Hello? When you're 18, you think, oh free sex, and no marriage, and everything. But once again, if you become 50-55, then you will look for a relationship that lasts. So it is for you to consider, because it's your life, to consider whether you want to live a life, where emotionally you're always looking out for somebody. Or you settle it in a certain way so that you can use your intelligence and time to create something else. Your research, your work, or whatever you're doing. If emotions and body are settled, actually, your ability to use your intelligence will be much better. Otherwise everyday you have to walk around to find somebody. No, I'm not making this thing because I feel so bad. In United States, people I know, you know thousands of people are involved with me now. People who are 40-45 years of age, women I'm saying, wonderful people. But, they're all on this, these days they've all gone online. Otherwise they go sit in a bar and wait. Somebody needs to pick them up today. It's terrible. Tinder generation. I'm sorry? Tinder generation. Whatever you want to call it. When a woman, at 45, should have been loved and respected in a proper atmosphere, now she's sitting there, looking for some strange guy to come her way. And she's going to make the judgement in the next 10 minutes, when he buys her a drink or a dinner or something. This is tragic.
Transcript: Well, monogamy and polygamy or whatever kind of gamy, if you want to see. The important thing we need...
show more...
... to understand is, you know, we are all here. You and me are here. This means a man and woman came together some time ago. Maybe, you think, oh they're parents you know. They don't love, they don't do sex, they don't do anything. Just because a priest uttered a mantra, you were born, probably. No, it's not like that. Somebody has a physical need, so handle it through marriage, and we're here. When you become 18, you become always against marriage. But when you were 3 years of age, you were for marriage. Your parents' marriage. When you were 3 years of age, were you not glad your parents had a stable marriage? Hello? When you're 18, you think, oh free sex, and no marriage, and everything. But once again, if you become 50-55, then you will look for a relationship that lasts. So it is for you to consider, because it's your life, to consider whether you want to live a life, where emotionally you're always looking out for somebody. Or you settle it in a certain way so that you can use your intelligence and time to create something else. Your research, your work, or whatever you're doing. If emotions and body are settled, actually, your ability to use your intelligence will be much better. Otherwise everyday you have to walk around to find somebody. No, I'm not making this thing because I feel so bad. In United States, people I know, you know thousands of people are involved with me now. People who are 40-45 years of age, women I'm saying, wonderful people. But, they're all on this, these days they've all gone online. Otherwise they go sit in a bar and wait. Somebody needs to pick them up today. It's terrible. Tinder generation. I'm sorry? Tinder generation. Whatever you want to call it. When a woman, at 45, should have been loved and respected in a proper atmosphere, now she's sitting there, looking for some strange guy to come her way. And she's going to make the judgement in the next 10 minutes, when he buys her a drink or a dinner or something. This is tragic.
August 17, 2020
2:53
What is the right age to get into sexually oriented relationships
Transcript: Now, you need to understand that this is a time of your life when you're at the highest level of energy. At this stage in your life, if you create a certain focus and balance within yourself, this energy will translate into something fantastic. But at this stage in your life if you do not bring focus and balance and you earn it, let's say when you're 40-45, you will not have the same energy. This is...
show more...
... something that youth don't understand. That they think this level of energy will be there all your life. No, no, no. It will pass. It is just a question of 8 to 12 to 15 years maximum. From the age of 14 to 30, there is a certain upsurge of energy. At this time, if you learn how to manage this, keep a balance and focus to your life. You bring a focus to your life, this life will function and play at a higher level of life. If you don't bring those things and you're in a hurry to live, then you will see it becomes an uphill task. Not that you won't make it at all, you may make it. But unnecessary struggles through life. So it's individual choice. If somebody has such a strong compulsion, they may go for it. Don't make it a trend. That if you're in a college you must have a body-based relationship. Not necessary. So, essentially you're asking, at what age should I go into sexually oriented relationships. Is that what you're asking? But I think, it'll be, you'll be doing a great service to yourself and to the world if you remove this boyfriend-girlfriend business and call it something else. Call them your, what? Romance, or your love affair, or whatever. Because friend, the word friend must be released from the body. It's very important. Otherwise friendships won't happen. Everybody will be like this because if I say you're my friend, she's afraid. Unnecessarily, isn't it? If I say she's my friend, she will fear, what is he upto? How is he my friend? Release the word friend from the body. It's very important. Let friendships happen all over. Well, body-based relationships happens with another individual. That's different, that's your choice. At what age? See, when you're in education, if you don't take charge of these instruments at this stage in your life, believe me, your own body, your own mind will trip you in so many ways right through your life. You won't ride them, they will ride you. That should not happen. At this stage in your life, let the focus fundamentally be on, how to grow yourself to the best possible place within yourself. Don't be in a hurry to live. Living will happen a little later. If you live too early, you will not live too well. Don't try to live too early. I'm not a moralistic person to tell you, do this, don't do this. If somebody has such a compulsive need, they can do it. But everybody need not make it a trend that if you're in college, you must have a sexually oriented relationship with somebody. There is no compulsion like that. There is no such rule that it must be so.
Transcript: Now, you need to understand that this is a time of your life when you're at the highest level of energy....
show more...
... At this stage in your life, if you create a certain focus and balance within yourself, this energy will translate into something fantastic. But at this stage in your life if you do not bring focus and balance and you earn it, let's say when you're 40-45, you will not have the same energy. This is something that youth don't understand. That they think this level of energy will be there all your life. No, no, no. It will pass. It is just a question of 8 to 12 to 15 years maximum. From the age of 14 to 30, there is a certain upsurge of energy. At this time, if you learn how to manage this, keep a balance and focus to your life. You bring a focus to your life, this life will function and play at a higher level of life. If you don't bring those things and you're in a hurry to live, then you will see it becomes an uphill task. Not that you won't make it at all, you may make it. But unnecessary struggles through life. So it's individual choice. If somebody has such a strong compulsion, they may go for it. Don't make it a trend. That if you're in a college you must have a body-based relationship. Not necessary. So, essentially you're asking, at what age should I go into sexually oriented relationships. Is that what you're asking? But I think, it'll be, you'll be doing a great service to yourself and to the world if you remove this boyfriend-girlfriend business and call it something else. Call them your, what? Romance, or your love affair, or whatever. Because friend, the word friend must be released from the body. It's very important. Otherwise friendships won't happen. Everybody will be like this because if I say you're my friend, she's afraid. Unnecessarily, isn't it? If I say she's my friend, she will fear, what is he upto? How is he my friend? Release the word friend from the body. It's very important. Let friendships happen all over. Well, body-based relationships happens with another individual. That's different, that's your choice. At what age? See, when you're in education, if you don't take charge of these instruments at this stage in your life, believe me, your own body, your own mind will trip you in so many ways right through your life. You won't ride them, they will ride you. That should not happen. At this stage in your life, let the focus fundamentally be on, how to grow yourself to the best possible place within yourself. Don't be in a hurry to live. Living will happen a little later. If you live too early, you will not live too well. Don't try to live too early. I'm not a moralistic person to tell you, do this, don't do this. If somebody has such a compulsive need, they can do it. But everybody need not make it a trend that if you're in college, you must have a sexually oriented relationship with somebody. There is no compulsion like that. There is no such rule that it must be so.
August 2, 2020
3:48
How do I handle conflict with my parents
Transcript: We see quite a generation gap between our generation and our parents' generation. And it sometimes so happens that we.. Not me. No gap between you and me. I'm much younger than you. It sometimes so happens that we want something out of our life and they don't necessarily agree with it. And we end up in a conflict. And we sometimes even curb our desires just to see them happy. So how do we deal with...
show more...
... that conflict? See. Please sit down. This is not a problem with your generation. This is a problem, unfortunately, with every generation. I think it's very silly that every generation has the same problem. If we're in a learning mode, at least we must have a new problem. Isn't it? Every generation has the same problem. Though they were also youth, just 25-30 years ago, somehow they suddenly act like they landed just like as they are today. So, because your parents are not here I can't talk to them. So we'll talk to you. If you want to craft your life the way you want, and what you want if it's not in concurrence with your parents, or the society in which you live in, or university in which you're studying. It can happen. What you choose may not be in line, not only with your parents' choices, may not be in line with your peers' choices. May not be in line with the instituion's choices. May not be in line with the society in which you live. So if you want to do your own thing, you must understand there will be a price to pay. Only thing you're complaining about is, how to have what I want without paying a price? There's no such life. If you want to do what you want, and if what you want is not in line with the larger interest of what is around you, then they will make you pay a price. If what you want means so much to you, you must pay the price. But if you find the price is too much for what little you want to do, you will step back naturally. It's like going to the market, you know. You went and want to buy a few flowers. That guy says 2000 bucks. For flowers, you say no. I want flowers, but no, because he's asking too big a price. This is so with every step in our life. When we want to do something, there will be a price attached to it. We must evaluate, do I want to pay this price? What I want, does it mean so much to me that I'm willing to pay this price? Or I'm not willing to pay this price. This is individual. There is no standard treatment for everybody. This is individual. Some people want it so badly, they're willing to pay any price. For some people it's a passing interest, so they will drop it and they will go on. There's nothing wrong with both. Both are fine.
Transcript: We see quite a generation gap between our generation and our parents' generation. And it sometimes so...
show more...
... happens that we.. Not me. No gap between you and me. I'm much younger than you. It sometimes so happens that we want something out of our life and they don't necessarily agree with it. And we end up in a conflict. And we sometimes even curb our desires just to see them happy. So how do we deal with that conflict? See. Please sit down. This is not a problem with your generation. This is a problem, unfortunately, with every generation. I think it's very silly that every generation has the same problem. If we're in a learning mode, at least we must have a new problem. Isn't it? Every generation has the same problem. Though they were also youth, just 25-30 years ago, somehow they suddenly act like they landed just like as they are today. So, because your parents are not here I can't talk to them. So we'll talk to you. If you want to craft your life the way you want, and what you want if it's not in concurrence with your parents, or the society in which you live in, or university in which you're studying. It can happen. What you choose may not be in line, not only with your parents' choices, may not be in line with your peers' choices. May not be in line with the instituion's choices. May not be in line with the society in which you live. So if you want to do your own thing, you must understand there will be a price to pay. Only thing you're complaining about is, how to have what I want without paying a price? There's no such life. If you want to do what you want, and if what you want is not in line with the larger interest of what is around you, then they will make you pay a price. If what you want means so much to you, you must pay the price. But if you find the price is too much for what little you want to do, you will step back naturally. It's like going to the market, you know. You went and want to buy a few flowers. That guy says 2000 bucks. For flowers, you say no. I want flowers, but no, because he's asking too big a price. This is so with every step in our life. When we want to do something, there will be a price attached to it. We must evaluate, do I want to pay this price? What I want, does it mean so much to me that I'm willing to pay this price? Or I'm not willing to pay this price. This is individual. There is no standard treatment for everybody. This is individual. Some people want it so badly, they're willing to pay any price. For some people it's a passing interest, so they will drop it and they will go on. There's nothing wrong with both. Both are fine.
August 1, 2020
3:33
Why are some relationships painful?
Transcript: The needs within a human being have risen. Because of a certain sense of incompleteness. People are forming relationships to experience a certain sense of completeness within themselves. When you have a good relationship with someone dear to you, you feel complete. When you don't have that, you feel incomplete. Why is this so? Because this life, this piece of life is a complete entity by itself. Why...
show more...
... is it feeling incomplete? And why is it trying to fulfil itself by making a partnership with another piece of life? Fundamental reason is that we have not explored this life in its full depth and dimension. Though that is the basis, there is a complex process of relationships as such. There are expectations. And expectations, and expectations, and expectations. The expectations that most people are creating are such, that there is no human being on the planet who could ever fulfil those expectations. In the process of holding a relationship, the first moment of meeting, the expectations may be common. But as, every step that we take in life, the expectations may become different. Because these expectations keep changing in people, they're not consistent and they cannot be. One person may be consistent with the same expectation throughout their life. Another person's expectations may be changing because his perception and experience of life is changing. Now, relationships become great conflicts. More conflict is happening within the four walls of the homes, than is happening anywhere on the planet. Only thing is, bombs are not exploding so you don't hear it. They may be giving each other silent treatment. It is happening because people's expectations are changing and they're not changing at the same pace. Fundamentally, why have we sought a relationship? Because you find yourself, that without a relationship, if you do not have any kind of relationship in your life, then you become depressed. So, fundamentally you're seeking a relationship because you want to be happy. You want to be joyful. Or, in other words, you're trying to use the other as a source of your happiness. If you're happy by your own nature, now relationships will become a means for you to express your happiness, not to seek happiness. If you're forming relationships to seek happiness, and trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody, and that person is trying to squeeze happiness out of you. Now this is going to be a painful relationship after some time.
Transcript: The needs within a human being have risen. Because of a certain sense of incompleteness. People are forming...
show more...
... relationships to experience a certain sense of completeness within themselves. When you have a good relationship with someone dear to you, you feel complete. When you don't have that, you feel incomplete. Why is this so? Because this life, this piece of life is a complete entity by itself. Why is it feeling incomplete? And why is it trying to fulfil itself by making a partnership with another piece of life? Fundamental reason is that we have not explored this life in its full depth and dimension. Though that is the basis, there is a complex process of relationships as such. There are expectations. And expectations, and expectations, and expectations. The expectations that most people are creating are such, that there is no human being on the planet who could ever fulfil those expectations. In the process of holding a relationship, the first moment of meeting, the expectations may be common. But as, every step that we take in life, the expectations may become different. Because these expectations keep changing in people, they're not consistent and they cannot be. One person may be consistent with the same expectation throughout their life. Another person's expectations may be changing because his perception and experience of life is changing. Now, relationships become great conflicts. More conflict is happening within the four walls of the homes, than is happening anywhere on the planet. Only thing is, bombs are not exploding so you don't hear it. They may be giving each other silent treatment. It is happening because people's expectations are changing and they're not changing at the same pace. Fundamentally, why have we sought a relationship? Because you find yourself, that without a relationship, if you do not have any kind of relationship in your life, then you become depressed. So, fundamentally you're seeking a relationship because you want to be happy. You want to be joyful. Or, in other words, you're trying to use the other as a source of your happiness. If you're happy by your own nature, now relationships will become a means for you to express your happiness, not to seek happiness. If you're forming relationships to seek happiness, and trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody, and that person is trying to squeeze happiness out of you. Now this is going to be a painful relationship after some time.
July 30, 2020
3:57
I love you is not a cure for fixing your relationship
Transcript: There are two ways to enter into a relationship. One way is, because you want to extract something from somebody. Another way is, because you want to share something with somebody. These are two ways. If you're out to share, your life will be good. If you're out to extract, when they close the tap, it's going to get terrible and nasty. You have seen people who thought they're absolute lovers, how terrible...
show more...
... it becomes for many of them. Not because there's anything wrong with them, simply because you started off on the wrong footing. Thinking, this person is the source of my joy. No, no, no. Joy or misery, the source is within you. Yes or no? Whether it's joy or misery, the source is within you. It's for you to decide. If you're a joyful human being, they will also want to be with you. If you're a misery, they will endure you for some time. Shall I tell you a joke? Are you okay? Please Sadhguru. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai. What happened? Was walking in a park in the evening. Sunset time. He saw a young, pretty looking woman sitting on a stone bench. You know the park benches? He also went and sat down, settled down on the same bench. After some time, he moved little close. She moved little away. He allowed a few minutes, and again moved a little closer. She moved little away. Again, he moved closer. Now there was nowhere else to go for her because she was at the end of the bench. She pushed him away. Then he waited for two minutes, just the sun to get to the right angle. Then he went down on his knees and he said, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." You know a woman is a fool for love. And the sun was setting. If it was middle of the afternoon, she won't believe a damn thing. Sun was setting, the ambience was right, and she kind of feeled it. Nature took over, things happened between them. Then he looked at his watch, it was 8 O'clock in the evening. He got up and he said, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "Where are you going? You said you love me." He said, "My wife is waiting, I need to go." So 'I love you', for a whole lot of people, is like that, you know, open sesame. You want to get something. Maybe your needs are physical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or we don't know what else. You have needs to fulfil. So you use this mantra and it works. Half the time it works. I'm saying, it's important, it is important, you know the joy of being loving. Because sweetness of emotion is needed for you. If you want to take really big steps in your life. If you do not have sweetness of love in your heart, believe me, if you try to take big steps in the world, particularly in India, you will end up frustrated and go to Canada.
Transcript: There are two ways to enter into a relationship. One way is, because you want to extract something from...
show more...
... somebody. Another way is, because you want to share something with somebody. These are two ways. If you're out to share, your life will be good. If you're out to extract, when they close the tap, it's going to get terrible and nasty. You have seen people who thought they're absolute lovers, how terrible it becomes for many of them. Not because there's anything wrong with them, simply because you started off on the wrong footing. Thinking, this person is the source of my joy. No, no, no. Joy or misery, the source is within you. Yes or no? Whether it's joy or misery, the source is within you. It's for you to decide. If you're a joyful human being, they will also want to be with you. If you're a misery, they will endure you for some time. Shall I tell you a joke? Are you okay? Please Sadhguru. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai. What happened? Was walking in a park in the evening. Sunset time. He saw a young, pretty looking woman sitting on a stone bench. You know the park benches? He also went and sat down, settled down on the same bench. After some time, he moved little close. She moved little away. He allowed a few minutes, and again moved a little closer. She moved little away. Again, he moved closer. Now there was nowhere else to go for her because she was at the end of the bench. She pushed him away. Then he waited for two minutes, just the sun to get to the right angle. Then he went down on his knees and he said, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." You know a woman is a fool for love. And the sun was setting. If it was middle of the afternoon, she won't believe a damn thing. Sun was setting, the ambience was right, and she kind of feeled it. Nature took over, things happened between them. Then he looked at his watch, it was 8 O'clock in the evening. He got up and he said, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "Where are you going? You said you love me." He said, "My wife is waiting, I need to go." So 'I love you', for a whole lot of people, is like that, you know, open sesame. You want to get something. Maybe your needs are physical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or we don't know what else. You have needs to fulfil. So you use this mantra and it works. Half the time it works. I'm saying, it's important, it is important, you know the joy of being loving. Because sweetness of emotion is needed for you. If you want to take really big steps in your life. If you do not have sweetness of love in your heart, believe me, if you try to take big steps in the world, particularly in India, you will end up frustrated and go to Canada.
July 18, 2020
3:50
How to find true love? Is this the right person for me?
Transcript: So who is the right person? I don't want to take away all the romance in your life. But, let me tell you this, there is no right person on this planet. If you get into that kind of unrealistic mindset, I have found the right person. Oh, you will be soon disappointed. You must understand, there is no right person. First thing is to see whether, I am the right person. Yes? Am I the right person? And...
show more...
... there are no right people on this planet. If you understand, you have your nonsense, they have their nonsense. We can adjust nonsense nonsense. Go on. First and foremost thing is you bring yourself to a place where your experience of life is just pleasant by yourself. You're wonderful. Now, let us see what gets drawn to this one. If you're really wonderful, things will happen in every way, I'm saying. And this whole thing is an American thing, that there is a soulmate somewhere. God made just one more person just for you. But these days every two years he keeps making one more person just for you. Obviously, God is making too many mistakes with you. It once happened, Shankaran Pillai was at the family dinner. And when everybody settled down for dinner, he stood up at the table and announced, "I am going to marry Lucy, who is just across the street." I hope that's not the name. Then the father said, "What? You want to marry Lucy? She has nothing. She's like a tramp. You're going to marry that Lucy." Mother said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy?" The uncle, uncle is always pitching in in these kind of matters. The uncle said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy? Have you seen her hair? It looks fake." The aunt, "Whatt? You're going to marry Lucy? She's always painted. You're going to marry that painted woman?" The little boy, the nephew can't be left out. He says, "You're going to marry Lucy. She doesn't even know what is cricket! How can you marry her?" Shankaran Pillai stood his ground and said, "Yes, I'm going to marry Lucy." Everybody asked in one voice, "Why?" He said, "Because she has no family." There are no many opinions to battle with.
Transcript: So who is the right person? I don't want to take away all the romance in your life. But, let me tell...
show more...
... you this, there is no right person on this planet. If you get into that kind of unrealistic mindset, I have found the right person. Oh, you will be soon disappointed. You must understand, there is no right person. First thing is to see whether, I am the right person. Yes? Am I the right person? And there are no right people on this planet. If you understand, you have your nonsense, they have their nonsense. We can adjust nonsense nonsense. Go on. First and foremost thing is you bring yourself to a place where your experience of life is just pleasant by yourself. You're wonderful. Now, let us see what gets drawn to this one. If you're really wonderful, things will happen in every way, I'm saying. And this whole thing is an American thing, that there is a soulmate somewhere. God made just one more person just for you. But these days every two years he keeps making one more person just for you. Obviously, God is making too many mistakes with you. It once happened, Shankaran Pillai was at the family dinner. And when everybody settled down for dinner, he stood up at the table and announced, "I am going to marry Lucy, who is just across the street." I hope that's not the name. Then the father said, "What? You want to marry Lucy? She has nothing. She's like a tramp. You're going to marry that Lucy." Mother said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy?" The uncle, uncle is always pitching in in these kind of matters. The uncle said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy? Have you seen her hair? It looks fake." The aunt, "Whatt? You're going to marry Lucy? She's always painted. You're going to marry that painted woman?" The little boy, the nephew can't be left out. He says, "You're going to marry Lucy. She doesn't even know what is cricket! How can you marry her?" Shankaran Pillai stood his ground and said, "Yes, I'm going to marry Lucy." Everybody asked in one voice, "Why?" He said, "Because she has no family." There are no many opinions to battle with.
July 15, 2020
3:21
My partner is never happy with me – no matter what I do
Transcript: Nowhere in the history of humanity, or today, or in anytime in future, will human relationships be absolute. Though every, every person who gets little romantic, believes that this is going to be an absolute relationship. There is no such thing about it. A relationship is a variable, always. You have to conduct it on a daily basis. One day if you don't conduct it properly, it may go somewhere. Yes...
show more...
... or no? No, please look at it as it is. You have to conduct it right. So, no I'm doing my best. Obviously somebody feels your best is not good enough for them. No, I want you to come to terms with this. This is not about, I'm not saying what they're doing is right or wrong. That's not for me to say. All I'm saying is, this is how human beings have been functioning for ages, and still are. I'm saying, first of all, you need to understand, relationships will never ever be absolute. They will be variables that you, it's juggling that you have to do. If you're juggling with fireballs, one sometimes, it'll spill out. Takes lot of skill and attention. Yes or no? You're married, many of you. Doesn't it take lot of skill and attention? Yes. If you don't pay any attention, you don't know what the hell is happening. It takes a lot of attention, isn't it? So I'm saying, you need to understand this. A relationship is a variable reality. It is not an absolute reality. If you want to have an absolute relationship, you must hold relationships with the dead. It's time you look deeper, rather than reacting and trying to fix somebody else. Punishing somebody else is not going to transform your life, not going to make your life beautiful in any way. Some sick satisfaction you'll have for two days, after that you'll feel guilty about that also. So don't go that way. This is an opportunity. Somebody is opening up a spiritual dimension for you.
Transcript: Nowhere in the history of humanity, or today, or in anytime in future, will human relationships be absolute....
show more...
... Though every, every person who gets little romantic, believes that this is going to be an absolute relationship. There is no such thing about it. A relationship is a variable, always. You have to conduct it on a daily basis. One day if you don't conduct it properly, it may go somewhere. Yes or no? No, please look at it as it is. You have to conduct it right. So, no I'm doing my best. Obviously somebody feels your best is not good enough for them. No, I want you to come to terms with this. This is not about, I'm not saying what they're doing is right or wrong. That's not for me to say. All I'm saying is, this is how human beings have been functioning for ages, and still are. I'm saying, first of all, you need to understand, relationships will never ever be absolute. They will be variables that you, it's juggling that you have to do. If you're juggling with fireballs, one sometimes, it'll spill out. Takes lot of skill and attention. Yes or no? You're married, many of you. Doesn't it take lot of skill and attention? Yes. If you don't pay any attention, you don't know what the hell is happening. It takes a lot of attention, isn't it? So I'm saying, you need to understand this. A relationship is a variable reality. It is not an absolute reality. If you want to have an absolute relationship, you must hold relationships with the dead. It's time you look deeper, rather than reacting and trying to fix somebody else. Punishing somebody else is not going to transform your life, not going to make your life beautiful in any way. Some sick satisfaction you'll have for two days, after that you'll feel guilty about that also. So don't go that way. This is an opportunity. Somebody is opening up a spiritual dimension for you.
July 14, 2020
2:49
Do we need to match horoscopes?
Transcript: Hello, this is Sumona Chakravarti. Namaskaram Sadhguru. Sadhguru, I want to know the truth about astrology. I mean I know it is a science, but you know when one has to match horoscopes before a wedding. Or a Manglik girl who is supposed to wed a tree first, you know, before she marries the guy. Or the fact that, you know one has to wear particular stones to help various things in life. So what is the...
show more...
... truth about it? What is the reality of it all? I mean, because it is very confusing to our generation to understand because either we rebel, or you know, succumb to parental pressure. So if you could help us understand the truth about it, it would be wonderful. Thank you so much. Pranam. Namaskaram Sumona. Well, I like this idea of marrying a tree. I'm married to trees, you know. I think it's a good idea. Very stable partner, rooted. In today's life, getting somebody so rooted is a rare thing. It's a really great idea. See, horoscopes are being matched. What it means is stars are being matched. But how do you match these two idiots, it's impossible. Nobody can match these two idiots. Only if they take responsibility for each other, if they show some sense of involvement and invest their lives in each other then something wonderful may happen. If you match them, doesn't matter how you match them, nothing is going to work out. This is why for most people, all love affairs and marriages are beautiful only for some time. After that it's one big anxiety, or non-stop friction. Simply because people are trying to match each other. You cannot match people. No two human beings are same, it will not work that way. It is just that if you hold the other person's well being above your own, then you will find everything works out. If your life is about extracting happiness from somebody else, you will see it will become bitter over a period of time. If your life is about sharing the joy that you are, then everything will work out. It doesn't matter what the stars say. Anyway, stars can speak what they want. Once you come here as a human being, you are supposed to create this life. This is the only creature on the planet who can structure its own life. If you want to give that up and allow inanimate things like planets and stars to decide the future of who you are, it's a tragic way to exist. So please, you and whoever else is influenced by you, please tell them to take their lives into their hands. It doesn't matter. And how silly is it that a third person, that you do not know, is going to tell you whether you will live happily or not with your husband or your wife. How vulgar is that. Take up this responsibility in your hand. It doesn't matter what kind of fool you marry, you take up the responsibility that you will live well. And that's the only way you will live well.
Transcript: Hello, this is Sumona Chakravarti. Namaskaram Sadhguru. Sadhguru, I want to know the truth about astrology....
show more...
... I mean I know it is a science, but you know when one has to match horoscopes before a wedding. Or a Manglik girl who is supposed to wed a tree first, you know, before she marries the guy. Or the fact that, you know one has to wear particular stones to help various things in life. So what is the truth about it? What is the reality of it all? I mean, because it is very confusing to our generation to understand because either we rebel, or you know, succumb to parental pressure. So if you could help us understand the truth about it, it would be wonderful. Thank you so much. Pranam. Namaskaram Sumona. Well, I like this idea of marrying a tree. I'm married to trees, you know. I think it's a good idea. Very stable partner, rooted. In today's life, getting somebody so rooted is a rare thing. It's a really great idea. See, horoscopes are being matched. What it means is stars are being matched. But how do you match these two idiots, it's impossible. Nobody can match these two idiots. Only if they take responsibility for each other, if they show some sense of involvement and invest their lives in each other then something wonderful may happen. If you match them, doesn't matter how you match them, nothing is going to work out. This is why for most people, all love affairs and marriages are beautiful only for some time. After that it's one big anxiety, or non-stop friction. Simply because people are trying to match each other. You cannot match people. No two human beings are same, it will not work that way. It is just that if you hold the other person's well being above your own, then you will find everything works out. If your life is about extracting happiness from somebody else, you will see it will become bitter over a period of time. If your life is about sharing the joy that you are, then everything will work out. It doesn't matter what the stars say. Anyway, stars can speak what they want. Once you come here as a human being, you are supposed to create this life. This is the only creature on the planet who can structure its own life. If you want to give that up and allow inanimate things like planets and stars to decide the future of who you are, it's a tragic way to exist. So please, you and whoever else is influenced by you, please tell them to take their lives into their hands. It doesn't matter. And how silly is it that a third person, that you do not know, is going to tell you whether you will live happily or not with your husband or your wife. How vulgar is that. Take up this responsibility in your hand. It doesn't matter what kind of fool you marry, you take up the responsibility that you will live well. And that's the only way you will live well.
July 12, 2020
3:57
How to make couple relationships work – Why do they fail?
Transcript: Unfortunately today we have imbibed this, from the West again, that if you utter the word relationship, people are generally thinking of body-based relationships. Or in some way, it has to be between a man and a woman, or whatever else. But essetially, body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they're body-based relationships, usually the excitement about each other's body...
show more...
... will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate, is not ultimate after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of it. Then, when the main draw which brought people together is kind of melting away, without knowing why they start being unpleasant to each other. Because essentially such a relationship is towards extracting sweetness from another person. Extracting happiness from another person. So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody, after some time you find when it doesn't yield the same result as it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important when you're young, certain things may happen as you start growing older. When I say older, from yesterday to today, you're older. So today you must be thinking in terms of, that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships. Any kind of relationship that you hold, if relationship is based on your expression of joy, not on extraction of joy. For this, you must become joyful by your own nature first of all. If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant overflow of joy, if it so and your relationship is only about sharing this, then you don't have to worry about the normal circus that people go through in terms of relationships. Managing relationships means, in day to day life a relationship may not stay just in one area of life. Once people are together, they will have to share many things. Naturally, you will start stepping on each other's toes for many many small things that happen. Because of this there will be many interactions or you can even call them altercations. They will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis. People think they can manage, after some time you will see you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in such a way that you're a natural exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen. And relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get you're not getting. If you eliminate this need within you. That you are a natural overflow of joy. If this one thing you do, you can have fabulous relationships with every kind of people, irespective of who they are. They don't have to be your kind. With all sorts of people you can hold wonderful relationships.
Transcript: Unfortunately today we have imbibed this, from the West again, that if you utter the word relationship,...
show more...
... people are generally thinking of body-based relationships. Or in some way, it has to be between a man and a woman, or whatever else. But essetially, body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they're body-based relationships, usually the excitement about each other's body will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate, is not ultimate after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of it. Then, when the main draw which brought people together is kind of melting away, without knowing why they start being unpleasant to each other. Because essentially such a relationship is towards extracting sweetness from another person. Extracting happiness from another person. So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody, after some time you find when it doesn't yield the same result as it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important when you're young, certain things may happen as you start growing older. When I say older, from yesterday to today, you're older. So today you must be thinking in terms of, that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships. Any kind of relationship that you hold, if relationship is based on your expression of joy, not on extraction of joy. For this, you must become joyful by your own nature first of all. If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant overflow of joy, if it so and your relationship is only about sharing this, then you don't have to worry about the normal circus that people go through in terms of relationships. Managing relationships means, in day to day life a relationship may not stay just in one area of life. Once people are together, they will have to share many things. Naturally, you will start stepping on each other's toes for many many small things that happen. Because of this there will be many interactions or you can even call them altercations. They will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis. People think they can manage, after some time you will see you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in such a way that you're a natural exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen. And relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get you're not getting. If you eliminate this need within you. That you are a natural overflow of joy. If this one thing you do, you can have fabulous relationships with every kind of people, irespective of who they are. They don't have to be your kind. With all sorts of people you can hold wonderful relationships.
July 8, 2020
3:57
Multiple heartbreaks will make you distrust people
Transcript: This serial heartbreak business can leave you paranoid about anything. About bonding with anybody in your life. Yes or no? You had serial heartbreaks. It looked like fun for some time, after some time you just don't actually trust anybody in your life. Because another human being is a problem always. Only when our emotions allow you to cross the problem, in some way they get included. But, if we have...
show more...
... serial heartbreaks, we will never allow our emotion to cross those barriers, we will always be cautious because anyway this has come with an expiry date. When people come with an expiry date, yes there is an expiry date for all of us. But relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life. So that two people, that means, two brains and two bodies can do better than one in many ways. In various aspects of life, in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship, in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives. In every way, two people can do better than one person, that is the idea. And, of course, nature is pushing us together because nature doesn't care about your love affair, it just wants you to reproduce. You're 10, 12 it's okay. You became 13, and you look like this. Suddenly this is a world by itself. The neighbourhood scrawny girl who didn't mean a damn thing to you, suddenly she is the focus, she's the apple of your eye. Yes? So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones. So it is making funny things happen. It is making you believe all kinds of things. When you look back and see, you'll feel stupid, but it's okay. There's nothing wrong about it. But it's very important that we understand what's happening to us. Otherwise we'll do idiotic things that we may regret later, you know. It is not a question of morality, it is a question of handling our lives sensibly. So reproduction is not the purpose right now, we have kept it aside. But nature's push is towards that. But we have emotional needs, physical needs, psychological needs, maybe financial and social needs. Variety of needs. To conduct these needs in a dignified way. To conduct these needs in a, see once you come as a human being, you can't do things, though they are the same things what the animals do. But we would like to do it more gracefully, consciously. Whether we eat, or we copulate, or we sleep. We like to do it little more aesthetically right. That's the important thing. For that, we need the cooperation of another person, who is also somehow congruent to us. Every two days if you have heartbreaks and going on, well, you must see the trouble of that.
Transcript: This serial heartbreak business can leave you paranoid about anything. About bonding with anybody in...
show more...
... your life. Yes or no? You had serial heartbreaks. It looked like fun for some time, after some time you just don't actually trust anybody in your life. Because another human being is a problem always. Only when our emotions allow you to cross the problem, in some way they get included. But, if we have serial heartbreaks, we will never allow our emotion to cross those barriers, we will always be cautious because anyway this has come with an expiry date. When people come with an expiry date, yes there is an expiry date for all of us. But relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life. So that two people, that means, two brains and two bodies can do better than one in many ways. In various aspects of life, in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship, in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives. In every way, two people can do better than one person, that is the idea. And, of course, nature is pushing us together because nature doesn't care about your love affair, it just wants you to reproduce. You're 10, 12 it's okay. You became 13, and you look like this. Suddenly this is a world by itself. The neighbourhood scrawny girl who didn't mean a damn thing to you, suddenly she is the focus, she's the apple of your eye. Yes? So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones. So it is making funny things happen. It is making you believe all kinds of things. When you look back and see, you'll feel stupid, but it's okay. There's nothing wrong about it. But it's very important that we understand what's happening to us. Otherwise we'll do idiotic things that we may regret later, you know. It is not a question of morality, it is a question of handling our lives sensibly. So reproduction is not the purpose right now, we have kept it aside. But nature's push is towards that. But we have emotional needs, physical needs, psychological needs, maybe financial and social needs. Variety of needs. To conduct these needs in a dignified way. To conduct these needs in a, see once you come as a human being, you can't do things, though they are the same things what the animals do. But we would like to do it more gracefully, consciously. Whether we eat, or we copulate, or we sleep. We like to do it little more aesthetically right. That's the important thing. For that, we need the cooperation of another person, who is also somehow congruent to us. Every two days if you have heartbreaks and going on, well, you must see the trouble of that.
July 7, 2020
3:42
How to find real love?
Transcript: We have one question from the social media, the Facebook. Amit Madhan wants to know, in this materialistic age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others? Forget about others. If you, if you learn to be loving by your own nature, not...
show more...
... because of somebody else or something else. I know the question is coming from Facebook, there's enomous possibility. You can even love those people who don't even exist. So I'm saying there's a tremendous possibility. So, if you just become love, not love somebody then you will know the nature of love. If you love somebody, it's a fickle happening because no human being will happen 100% the way you want them. Every human being on this planet is going to disappoint you, believe me. Not because they'll do something wrong, because nobody can fulfil the unrealistic expectation you have of them. It's simply not possible. Have you been able to fulfil anybody's expectation? I'm asking you, entirely? Partially. But never entirely, isn't it? So nobody else will be able to do it. Unless you're still such a hopeless romantic, you're still waiting. That ideal person is going to come from somewhere. No. Believe me, whoever comes. I want you to know, the ideal people, whom you worship. When Krishna was there, his wives complained. Alright? So there is no hope for us. Yes, please remember this.
Transcript: We have one question from the social media, the Facebook. Amit Madhan wants to know, in this materialistic...
show more...
... age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others? Forget about others. If you, if you learn to be loving by your own nature, not because of somebody else or something else. I know the question is coming from Facebook, there's enomous possibility. You can even love those people who don't even exist. So I'm saying there's a tremendous possibility. So, if you just become love, not love somebody then you will know the nature of love. If you love somebody, it's a fickle happening because no human being will happen 100% the way you want them. Every human being on this planet is going to disappoint you, believe me. Not because they'll do something wrong, because nobody can fulfil the unrealistic expectation you have of them. It's simply not possible. Have you been able to fulfil anybody's expectation? I'm asking you, entirely? Partially. But never entirely, isn't it? So nobody else will be able to do it. Unless you're still such a hopeless romantic, you're still waiting. That ideal person is going to come from somewhere. No. Believe me, whoever comes. I want you to know, the ideal people, whom you worship. When Krishna was there, his wives complained. Alright? So there is no hope for us. Yes, please remember this.
July 4, 2020
2:17
How can a modern woman become an ideal wife?
Transcript: So, your mother, your grandmother, how they made good wives. Largely it was believed the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Now today your husband will call Uber Eats and whatever quick picks and this and that and Swiggy and whatever. Alright? So you can't make a good wife based on how your grandmother became a good wife. You can't become a good wife based on how your mother became a good...
show more...
... wife. Situations have changed, expectations have changed. It's not in the stomach anymore. For some it's gone up into the head, for some it's gone further south. Yes? And, according to contemporary needs, not how your grandmother did her marriage. You can't do it that way because expectations and situations have completely altered themselves. So if you hold somebody who is your friend, and who is your need. You must understand. You're in this relationship because you need. Maybe the other person also needs, but that's from their side. As far as you are concerned, you made this relationship because you need it badly. Isn't it? If you understand, and you're always grateful for this, that somebody is fulfilling all your need, you would handle it well. You wouldn't make a misery out of it. But now you think somebody else needs you, then you'll make a mess out of it. So, you don't do that. Essentially, what husband and wife means is, because you are not geared. Most people are not geared. Very few people in this world are geared to make this journey of life all by themselves. They're organized enough within themselves, totally. They never feel anything missing in their life because they have made themselves like that. But, most people need somebody else to lean on. Either emotionally, psychologically. There are needs in a human being. Physical needs, psychological needs, emotional needs. Maybe, social needs, economic needs, variety of needs. To fulfil these needs, you want to find one person that you can depend on. Because it's very difficult, you want to find one person with whom you can share everything that you have. Your body, mind, emotion, and it works. So this is the idea. Finalizing it so that everytime you get little, some little friction, you don't fall apart. So little tying up, so that things don't fall apart very easily, alright? Nothing else. The biggest mistake humanity made was, they started saying marriages are made in heaven. That's why it's such a mess. Much done here. If you see, marriages are made between us. And we took responsibility for who we are, or we could've made it work. The damn thing is made in heaven. Not suitable here because it's alien stuff. Everything is a mess because you think it's made elsewhere, by somebody else. If you understand it's made by you for your well being, to fulfil your needs and your purposes so that you can go through this journey of life with least amount of trouble and friction, then you would handle it more responsibly. Isn't it?
Transcript: So, your mother, your grandmother, how they made good wives. Largely it was believed the way to a man's...
show more...
... heart is through his stomach. Now today your husband will call Uber Eats and whatever quick picks and this and that and Swiggy and whatever. Alright? So you can't make a good wife based on how your grandmother became a good wife. You can't become a good wife based on how your mother became a good wife. Situations have changed, expectations have changed. It's not in the stomach anymore. For some it's gone up into the head, for some it's gone further south. Yes? And, according to contemporary needs, not how your grandmother did her marriage. You can't do it that way because expectations and situations have completely altered themselves. So if you hold somebody who is your friend, and who is your need. You must understand. You're in this relationship because you need. Maybe the other person also needs, but that's from their side. As far as you are concerned, you made this relationship because you need it badly. Isn't it? If you understand, and you're always grateful for this, that somebody is fulfilling all your need, you would handle it well. You wouldn't make a misery out of it. But now you think somebody else needs you, then you'll make a mess out of it. So, you don't do that. Essentially, what husband and wife means is, because you are not geared. Most people are not geared. Very few people in this world are geared to make this journey of life all by themselves. They're organized enough within themselves, totally. They never feel anything missing in their life because they have made themselves like that. But, most people need somebody else to lean on. Either emotionally, psychologically. There are needs in a human being. Physical needs, psychological needs, emotional needs. Maybe, social needs, economic needs, variety of needs. To fulfil these needs, you want to find one person that you can depend on. Because it's very difficult, you want to find one person with whom you can share everything that you have. Your body, mind, emotion, and it works. So this is the idea. Finalizing it so that everytime you get little, some little friction, you don't fall apart. So little tying up, so that things don't fall apart very easily, alright? Nothing else. The biggest mistake humanity made was, they started saying marriages are made in heaven. That's why it's such a mess. Much done here. If you see, marriages are made between us. And we took responsibility for who we are, or we could've made it work. The damn thing is made in heaven. Not suitable here because it's alien stuff. Everything is a mess because you think it's made elsewhere, by somebody else. If you understand it's made by you for your well being, to fulfil your needs and your purposes so that you can go through this journey of life with least amount of trouble and friction, then you would handle it more responsibly. Isn't it?
July 1, 2020
4:06
Why do loving relationships turn bitter?
Transcript: There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home. And for it to be well coordinated, certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is with an enormous level of connectedness. Not emotional. Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed, it is the juice of life. You don't make your emotions work, you should not make them work. You can make...
show more...
... your thought work, you can make your body work. Don't try to make your emotions work. Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, isn't it? Yes or no? Initially 'I love you' works. After some time, you're trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets. Because emotion is not for work, emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work, emotions just there. The flowers need not work, they're just there. That's all. Emotion is like that, it's just there. Pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly. The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opiniated. It will not work like that. Fundamental mechanics are wrong, so how will it work?
Transcript: There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home. And for it to be well coordinated,...
show more...
... certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is with an enormous level of connectedness. Not emotional. Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed, it is the juice of life. You don't make your emotions work, you should not make them work. You can make your thought work, you can make your body work. Don't try to make your emotions work. Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, isn't it? Yes or no? Initially 'I love you' works. After some time, you're trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets. Because emotion is not for work, emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work, emotions just there. The flowers need not work, they're just there. That's all. Emotion is like that, it's just there. Pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly. The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opiniated. It will not work like that. Fundamental mechanics are wrong, so how will it work?
June 29, 2020
2:19
Are you a true friend?
Transcript: If you are a friend to somebody, you don’t have to nag them with what’s wrong with them. That’s not the point. But at the same time, you must have the courage to be unpopular with people. In just trying to be popular with people, just see how many stupid things you are doing with your life. In just trying to maintain some kind of pleasantness around you, see how much unpleasantness you have buried...
show more...
... within you. If you bury unpleasantness, if you put seeds of unpleasantness into the soil you’ll reap fruits of unpleasantness, isn’t it? The more and more unpleasantness you bury within yourself, you’ll reap a fruit like that. You must have the courage; if you really have a friend, you must have the courage to be unpopular with your friends and still be loving and okay with it. Right now, your friendships are always made on agreements, likes and dislikes. No, you are apples and oranges and still you can be good friends. A true friend is somebody who has the courage to tell you what shit you are, and still be loving and nice to you. Yes?
Transcript: If you are a friend to somebody, you don’t have to nag them with what’s wrong with them. That’s...
show more...
... not the point. But at the same time, you must have the courage to be unpopular with people. In just trying to be popular with people, just see how many stupid things you are doing with your life. In just trying to maintain some kind of pleasantness around you, see how much unpleasantness you have buried within you. If you bury unpleasantness, if you put seeds of unpleasantness into the soil you’ll reap fruits of unpleasantness, isn’t it? The more and more unpleasantness you bury within yourself, you’ll reap a fruit like that. You must have the courage; if you really have a friend, you must have the courage to be unpopular with your friends and still be loving and okay with it. Right now, your friendships are always made on agreements, likes and dislikes. No, you are apples and oranges and still you can be good friends. A true friend is somebody who has the courage to tell you what shit you are, and still be loving and nice to you. Yes?
June 25, 2020
1:47
How important is marriage? Are you confused about marriage?
Transcript: See you need to understand the institution of marriage. It's about bringinga certain sanctity to the simple, basic needs that every human being has. There are physical needs, there are psychological needs, there are economic needs, emotional needs, social needs, variety of needs. To fulfill all these things we set an institution called marriage where all this can be conducted in a sensible manner....
show more...
... Otherwise, if we did it on the streets like every other creature, it would turn ugly for us and we would feel not good about it. So to bring some sense of organisation, some aesthetic, some stability because man and woman coming together naturally brought fresh life. It is, compared to any other creature, it is the most helpess life which needs maximum amount of support. You could leave a puppy on the street. As he long as he gets food, he grows up into a good dog, no problem. But not so with the human being. He doesn't need just physical support, he needs variety of support and above all, a stable situation. Whether there should be marriage in society or not one will debate when they are 18 because physical body is asking for freedom. Alright. At that time everybody questions, is marriage really needed? Why can't we just live whichever way we want? But when you are 3 years of age, you valued marriage immensely, a stable marriage immensely, isn't it so? Yes or no? Again when you become 45-50, you are 100% for marriage. Between 18 and 35 you are questioning the whole process. Because, where the physical body is dominant, at that time, if you give in to that then it will question every institution. This is hormone fired freedom, okay? Your intelligence has been hijacked by hormones. So, you question the fundamentals of everything. I'm not saying marriage is the thing. But do you have a better alternative? If you have a better alternative, damn the marriage. But you have not come up with a better alternative because a stable situation is a must for a child. Once you have a child, it's a 20 year project. Your whims and fancies will change, your emotions will change. If that is what it is, don't get into such situations. It's not compulsory for everybody to get married. It's good, you are saying people are thinking whether to get married or not, I'm glad. It is not necessary for everybody. But if you get into it, especially if you get into children you must understand, it's a minimum 20 year project whether you like it or you don't like it. Otherwise you shouldn't get into those projects. You don't walk into a project, drop it half way and walk away, isn't it? It's your choice, but at least choose consciously. You don't have to get married because everybody is getting married. You don't have to talk about marriage or divorce in the same breath. As if they come together. Why should you ever talk about marriage and divorce in one breath? It's a crime.
Transcript: See you need to understand the institution of marriage. It's about bringinga certain sanctity to the...
show more...
... simple, basic needs that every human being has. There are physical needs, there are psychological needs, there are economic needs, emotional needs, social needs, variety of needs. To fulfill all these things we set an institution called marriage where all this can be conducted in a sensible manner. Otherwise, if we did it on the streets like every other creature, it would turn ugly for us and we would feel not good about it. So to bring some sense of organisation, some aesthetic, some stability because man and woman coming together naturally brought fresh life. It is, compared to any other creature, it is the most helpess life which needs maximum amount of support. You could leave a puppy on the street. As he long as he gets food, he grows up into a good dog, no problem. But not so with the human being. He doesn't need just physical support, he needs variety of support and above all, a stable situation. Whether there should be marriage in society or not one will debate when they are 18 because physical body is asking for freedom. Alright. At that time everybody questions, is marriage really needed? Why can't we just live whichever way we want? But when you are 3 years of age, you valued marriage immensely, a stable marriage immensely, isn't it so? Yes or no? Again when you become 45-50, you are 100% for marriage. Between 18 and 35 you are questioning the whole process. Because, where the physical body is dominant, at that time, if you give in to that then it will question every institution. This is hormone fired freedom, okay? Your intelligence has been hijacked by hormones. So, you question the fundamentals of everything. I'm not saying marriage is the thing. But do you have a better alternative? If you have a better alternative, damn the marriage. But you have not come up with a better alternative because a stable situation is a must for a child. Once you have a child, it's a 20 year project. Your whims and fancies will change, your emotions will change. If that is what it is, don't get into such situations. It's not compulsory for everybody to get married. It's good, you are saying people are thinking whether to get married or not, I'm glad. It is not necessary for everybody. But if you get into it, especially if you get into children you must understand, it's a minimum 20 year project whether you like it or you don't like it. Otherwise you shouldn't get into those projects. You don't walk into a project, drop it half way and walk away, isn't it? It's your choice, but at least choose consciously. You don't have to get married because everybody is getting married. You don't have to talk about marriage or divorce in the same breath. As if they come together. Why should you ever talk about marriage and divorce in one breath? It's a crime.
June 21, 2020
3:49
In the times of Corona Virus – how to deal with lazy husband stubborn parents and bored children?
Synopsis: A lady asks Sadhguru - "Please guide the women of the country, who are dealing with lazy partners, stubborn parents and bored children on how to coexist compassionately amidst all the chaos. When household work load has increased and our work front identity has disappeared?" Sadhguru gives one simple way by which you can fix all this in one day!
Synopsis: A lady asks Sadhguru - "Please guide the women of the country, who are dealing with lazy partners, stubborn...
show more...
... parents and bored children on how to coexist compassionately amidst all the chaos. When household work load has increased and our work front identity has disappeared?" Sadhguru gives one simple way by which you can fix all this in one day!
June 16, 2020
5:25
How To Convince My Parents For An Inter-Caste Marriage?
Synopsis: Sadhguru tells us about the basis on caste system in India, and why people preferred marrying within the same caste. He also shares about how he got married, and how he announced it to everyone!
Synopsis: Sadhguru tells us about the basis on caste system in India, and why people preferred marrying within...
show more...
... the same caste. He also shares about how he got married, and how he announced it to everyone!
January 4, 2020
5:56
What is the right age to have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Synopsis: During a Youth and Truth event, a student asks Sadhguru - "What is the right age to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"Sadhguru says, today it has become like this, that when we say 'relationship', by default everyone assumes that the reference is to a body based relationship. One can have beautiful relationships without involving with your body! Sadhguru says, when you are in college, your focus should...
show more...
... be to enhance yourself to your full potential. So unless you have a huge compulsiveness for a sexual relationship, otherwise these things will become a big diversion for you.
Synopsis: During a Youth and Truth event, a student asks Sadhguru - "What is the right age to have a boyfriend...
show more...
... or a girlfriend?"Sadhguru says, today it has become like this, that when we say 'relationship', by default everyone assumes that the reference is to a body based relationship. One can have beautiful relationships without involving with your body! Sadhguru says, when you are in college, your focus should be to enhance yourself to your full potential. So unless you have a huge compulsiveness for a sexual relationship, otherwise these things will become a big diversion for you.
May 30, 2019
10:30
Why Can’t I Have Multiple Partners?
Synopsis: In our society why is it considered inappropriate to have multiple partners? What are the social and spiritual implications if one has multiple partners? Sadhguru explains that in older times more Men died than Women. So, in all societies the ratio of Male to Female was skewed, and to fulfill the basic human needs the society ended up with a Man having multiple partners. However, today, the ratio...
show more...
... is balanced and if the society allows multiple partners, it will create a lot of issues. Because for many people there basic needs will not get fulfilled, and the animal instincts will take over. Sadhguru also explains - at a more fundamental level, at our core is an energy framework or an evolutionary memory framework. So, those wanting to raise to a higher level, need to maintain the integrity of this framework. So, you don't want to open your body to anyone else, especially not to multiple partners. That's why in almost all cultures those on spiritual path would become monks.
Synopsis: In our society why is it considered inappropriate to have multiple partners? What are the social and...
show more...
... spiritual implications if one has multiple partners? Sadhguru explains that in older times more Men died than Women. So, in all societies the ratio of Male to Female was skewed, and to fulfill the basic human needs the society ended up with a Man having multiple partners. However, today, the ratio is balanced and if the society allows multiple partners, it will create a lot of issues. Because for many people there basic needs will not get fulfilled, and the animal instincts will take over. Sadhguru also explains - at a more fundamental level, at our core is an energy framework or an evolutionary memory framework. So, those wanting to raise to a higher level, need to maintain the integrity of this framework. So, you don't want to open your body to anyone else, especially not to multiple partners. That's why in almost all cultures those on spiritual path would become monks.
December 27, 2018
6:49
Is It Natural To Be Jealous?
Synopsis: If your way of being is determined by how others are - then the only way you can be is 'a mess'. If you don't take charge of yourself, very easily you can fall back in the evolutionary scheme of things. Sadhguru says - don't be in a self defeating mode. Life is about you, not about someone else. If your joy, your happiness, your misery is determined by someone else, then chances of you being joyful...
show more...
... in your life is remote.
Synopsis: If your way of being is determined by how others are - then the only way you can be is 'a mess'. If you...
show more...
... don't take charge of yourself, very easily you can fall back in the evolutionary scheme of things. Sadhguru says - don't be in a self defeating mode. Life is about you, not about someone else. If your joy, your happiness, your misery is determined by someone else, then chances of you being joyful in your life is remote.
December 17, 2018
7:06
How To Resolve Conflict With Parents In Choice of Career?
Synopsis: A young man tells Sadhguru about his struggle with his father in choosing a career. Though he wanted to be a musician, his father forced him to go to college to study engineering. He asks Sadhguru - "what is my responsibility towards my parents, and by choosing to become a volunteer for something I care for, am I doing the right thing"? Sadhguru says - "There are no right things in life. If you choose...
show more...
... something and put everything you have into it, it will become a great thing". Sadhguru tells what is the fundamental duty of children towards their parents.
Synopsis: A young man tells Sadhguru about his struggle with his father in choosing a career. Though he wanted...
show more...
... to be a musician, his father forced him to go to college to study engineering. He asks Sadhguru - "what is my responsibility towards my parents, and by choosing to become a volunteer for something I care for, am I doing the right thing"? Sadhguru says - "There are no right things in life. If you choose something and put everything you have into it, it will become a great thing". Sadhguru tells what is the fundamental duty of children towards their parents.
December 8, 2017
9:05
Articles
How To Deal With Expectations In a Relationship?
In many ways, the quality of relationship one holds, determines their quality of life. Relationships are formed to fulfill various needs - physical, psychological, emotional, social, financial... Sadhguru says - "The needs within a human being have risen because there is a certain sense of incompleteness and people are forming relationships to experience a certain sense of completeness within themselves". This is the source of expectations. Sadhguru says - "If you are happy by your own nature, the relationships will become a means for you to express your happiness not to seek happiness."
March 23, 2020
6 min read
I Face a Lot of Friction – What to Do?
Most people - when something fails - point fingers at others. If they don't find anyone to blame, they blame god, or even look for metaphysical reasons! It's important to understand, that if something is not working, it means it's not done well. If you are facing friction everywhere, obviously it means something is not right with you. You are the sandpaper! Sadhguru provides a simple ways to reduce friction in your life. And, of course if you meet 'sandpapers', you need some tact to handle them. This is a social skill which you need to develop!
May 6, 2019
3 min read
Are Marriages made in heaven?
Does a perfect companion exists and has God already chosen the 'right' person already for you? People may seek a mate for physical, mental or emotional reasons- but it will be wise to recognise the limitations that exists between relationships and truly understand what 'Love' is. A 'Soul', which is complete and boundless does not need a mate. Sadhguru looks at the whole idea of 'Soulmate', love and why people come together.
February 14, 2019
3 min read
Why Do We Form Families?
Why do some families turn out beautiful and other ugly? Sadhguru tells us that family is not about duty, it is not about dependence - rather it is a kind of partnership where both partners are constantly concerned about the other persons wellbeing. Above all it is essential for the nurturing, training and molding of a child.
December 2, 2018
4 min read
Can Jealousy Be Used As A Motivator?
If a dog to run behind you, or your tail needs to be set on fire - for you to run fast - that's not a pleasant way to run! Of course you need to run fast, but it is equally important that your experience of running fast is pleasant. So, running is not the only important thing, how you experience it, and what comes out of your running is equally important.
October 15, 2018
3 min read
Amish Tripathi – How To Deal With The Loss Of a Someone Close To Us?
Grief is about a loss - loss of possession, positions, professions and of course loved ones. If we lose someone to death, then it cannot be replaced - so the grief becomes more profound. Sadhguru says - the way we have defined "who we are" - is based on our possessions, positions and relationships. Relationships should not become an instrument to fill our lives - rather they should come from the basis of our completeness. This needs to be cultivated throughout life - this is what a spiritual process means.
September 10, 2018
2 min read
Mouni Roy – Why Are Relationships Becoming Fickle Today?
Relationships can be of many kinds; but these days the word "relationship" largely connotes a body-based relationship. Once the relationship is body-based, usually the excitement about each other's body will die after some time. Once that happens, the relationship starts to fall apart. So you must look at relationships in terms of an expression of joy, and for that to happen you must first become joyful by your own nature. Once your relationship is not need-based, and you are naturally joyful, you can hold wonderful relationships with everyone!
September 1, 2018
3 min read
I’m Addicted to Sex – What Should I Do?
Sex is natural aspect of the body. But Sexuality is psychological - it is your creation. If sex stays in the body, its fine; once it enters the mind, it becomes perversion. Sexuality has become very big now. This is so because somewhere we have not accepted our biology. As this continued over a period of time, sex has become a huge thing in people's minds. If you observe - more joyful you become, less is the need for pleasure. Sexuality is fine, there is nothing wrong or right about it, but it is only a basic aspect of life.
August 22, 2018
7 min read
What Are The Qualities of a Good Friend?
Sadhguru tells is the qualities of a "Good Friend" and elaborates. Good friends aren't always nice; Good friends say what needs to be said; Good friends have the courage to be unpopular; Good friends aren't conditional.
August 20, 2018
5 min read
How to avoid being selfish?
Is it possible to not be selfish? Is there such a thing as an 'unselfish act'? Is there a problem in being selfish? If not, then why is being selfish considered inappropriate? In this article Sadhguru shows us the way out.
June 29, 2018
2 min read
What is Communication? Is it only about language?
What is communication really about? What does it take to be an effective communicator? Many communication trainers have emphasized that communication is not only about speaking effectively, but also about ones listening capabilities. But, is communication something even beyond language? Are there other ways you can communicate?
June 18, 2018
12 min read
What Is Love?
What is love? And what is unconditional love - if there is such a thing! Is love just one more need, which has been glorified? Sadhguru narrates a beautiful and touching story of a king and his loving wife. He also elaborates on the science of 'mangalsutra', and how it is a tool for two beings to get entwined, and sadly how the science has been lost now. So, is love the goal of life? Sadhguru clarifies...
June 11, 2018
9 min read
Spouse Not Supportive of Yoga – What To Do?
If your spouse has to be supportive of your spiritual process, then you have to make sure that it is profitable for them! So, you must make yourself so vibrant, joyful and wonderful - then they themselves will start reminding you to do your practices! But, you may have gotten into a situation, where they do not even allow you to close your eyes for 15 mins. If that is so, Sadhguru says - "Then I do not think you have a family. Sorry, I am very brutal but let’s face it. Family means two people or four people are working towards each other’s wellbeing".
March 6, 2018
2 min read
What Is Unconditional Love?
Sadhguru tells us that, this concept of unconditional love, is grossly misunderstood. There is nothing like conditional love, or unconditional love. He says - "There is either love or no love. Either you know love in your life or you know a mutual benefit scheme"! All relationships are transactions, and we must manage them gracefully. Sadhguru narrates a beautiful and touching story (from her grandmother) to highlight this aspect. Sadhguru says - "Do not get lost in ideas of unconditional love. Love itself is a condition."
January 1, 2018
6 min read
Father & Son – Why is There Friction?
Family is a basic identity that we are born with. Without the family support, we wouldn't be where we are today, especially because the human being when born, is not ready for survival and needs support. Sadhguru says - "As a child, it is most vital that you are identified with the family. As an adult, you are supposed to grow beyond that". If there are two adult men living in the same space, there is bound to be some friction.
September 19, 2017
3 min read
What Is The Right ‘Company’?
Most people are shaped by the company they keep. All social exposure has an influence. It may not always be conscious. It is best not to be among people who are compulsive by nature. Sadhguru says - "Choosing your company is not about being discriminatory, but about being discretionary as to where you want to be and with whom you want to be".
September 5, 2017
4 min read
How To Deal When Someone Lets You Down?
It is important to understand that whatever relationships you have formed in life, are to fulfill your needs - physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social. If you keep this in mind, you will always approach the relationship with a certain humility. Relationships don't go on by themselves, they need to be continuously managed. You must be sweet by your own nature. If you constantly need support of the other person, after some time, they will get tired and run away, and you will feel as if they have let you down.
August 17, 2017
3 min read
I’m In a Toxic Environment – What To Do?
Many relationships have become ugly, and one ends up living in a toxic environment, feeling helpless. Sadhguru says - "A lot of nastiness is happening. If we rise above that, we will become successful human beings". To illustrate this, Sadhguru narrates an interesting story of a smart ass, who shook off the dirt thrown at him, to get himself out of a deep well. Sadhguru says - "What other people did to you is not the question. “What have you done to yourself?” is the big question. You must do the best. Be a smart ass". This is a must read article for everyone in such situations.
June 2, 2017
5 min read
How To Deal With Expectations In a Relationship?
In many ways, the quality of relationship one holds, determines their…
March 23, 2020
6 min read
I Face a Lot of Friction – What to Do?
Most people - when something fails - point fingers at others.…
May 6, 2019
3 min read
Are Marriages made in heaven?
Does a perfect companion exists and has God already chosen the…
February 14, 2019
3 min read
Why Do We Form Families?
Why do some families turn out beautiful and other ugly? Sadhguru…
December 2, 2018
4 min read
Can Jealousy Be Used As A Motivator?
If a dog to run behind you, or your tail needs…
October 15, 2018
3 min read
Amish Tripathi – How To Deal With The Loss Of a Someone Close To Us?
Grief is about a loss - loss of possession, positions, professions…
September 10, 2018
2 min read
Mouni Roy – Why Are Relationships Becoming Fickle Today?
Relationships can be of many kinds; but these days the word…
September 1, 2018
3 min read
I’m Addicted to Sex – What Should I Do?
Sex is natural aspect of the body. But Sexuality is psychological…
August 22, 2018
7 min read
What Are The Qualities of a Good Friend?
Sadhguru tells is the qualities of a "Good Friend" and elaborates.…
August 20, 2018
5 min read
How to avoid being selfish?
Is it possible to not be selfish? Is there such a…
June 29, 2018
2 min read
What is Communication? Is it only about language?
What is communication really about? What does it take to be…
June 18, 2018
12 min read
What Is Love?
What is love? And what is unconditional love - if there…
June 11, 2018
9 min read
Spouse Not Supportive of Yoga – What To Do?
If your spouse has to be supportive of your spiritual process,…
March 6, 2018
2 min read
What Is Unconditional Love?
Sadhguru tells us that, this concept of unconditional love, is grossly misunderstood.…
January 1, 2018
6 min read
Father & Son – Why is There Friction?
Family is a basic identity that we are born with. Without…
September 19, 2017
3 min read
What Is The Right ‘Company’?
Most people are shaped by the company they keep. All social…
September 5, 2017
4 min read
How To Deal When Someone Lets You Down?
It is important to understand that whatever relationships you have formed…
August 17, 2017
3 min read
I’m In a Toxic Environment – What To Do?
Many relationships have become ugly, and one ends up living in…
June 2, 2017
5 min read
Quotes
Collections