FILED IN
Relationships
Talks
What advice would you give to young people courting? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Julie Gichuru | #7
Synopsis: So, I’m bringing us back, for a moment, to family Sadhguru. And one of the things that is happening in Kenya, with much of our young society, is that we have a lot of single families. How many single parent families? How many people are aware of this happening in society today? Lot of women are left with the burden of bringing up children and struggling through. And...
show more...
... it’s really very sad. I remember, I’m looking back at when I first got married. And you know, you get very few lessons on marriage. You kind of get in and you have to figure it out right? And in many ways it took some time to understand exactly what you’ve told us. When you know unconditional love comes from your partner, everything is solved. And so you put that first, and you build up and you build up. Lot of young families seem to be going in without the tools to get through those really difficult and tough times. Sometimes they don’t even get to the point of marriage and family. What advice would you give young people courting? Or young people in a situation where they feel alone and abandoned. And they’re wondering what’s gone wrong. How do I get it right the next time, maybe?
Synopsis: So, I’m bringing us back, for a moment, to family Sadhguru. And one...
show more...
... of the things that is happening in Kenya, with much of our young society, is that we have a lot of single families. How many single parent families? How many people are aware of this happening in society today? Lot of women are left with the burden of bringing up children and struggling through. And it’s really very sad. I remember, I’m looking back at when I first got married. And you know, you get very few lessons on marriage. You kind of get in and you have to figure it out right? And in many ways it took some time to understand exactly what you’ve told us. When you know unconditional love comes from your partner, everything is solved. And so you put that first, and you build up and you build up. Lot of young families seem to be going in without the tools to get through those really difficult and tough times. Sometimes they don’t even get to the point of marriage and family. What advice would you give young people courting? Or young people in a situation where they feel alone and abandoned. And they’re wondering what’s gone wrong. How do I get it right the next time, maybe?
April 17, 2021
7:23
Why is it that today many youngsters don’t want to get married? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #11
Synopsis: Today, many youngsters don’t want to marry. And few of them who marry, there are occasions where they are getting divorced. So, would you like to throw some light on this situation?
Synopsis: Today, many youngsters don’t want to marry. And few of them who marry,...
show more...
... there are occasions where they are getting divorced. So, would you like to throw some light on this situation?
April 14, 2021
6:30
How can we reinforce the real feeling of love? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #10
Synopsis: In this materialistic age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others, and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others?
Synopsis: In this materialistic age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from...
show more...
... our life. Most of the love we receive from others, and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others?
April 14, 2021
3:38
Where do we draw a line between loving unconditionally and becoming a doormat? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #9
Synopsis: Where and how do we draw a line between loving unconditionally and becoming a doormat?
Synopsis: Where and how do we draw a line between loving unconditionally and becoming...
show more...
... a doormat?
April 14, 2021
6:52
Is love inclusiveness? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #3
Synopsis: Is love inclusiveness? I can’t understand how I can love everybody in this room. So how do you include everybody in your love?
Synopsis: Is love inclusiveness? I can’t understand how I can love everybody...
show more...
... in this room. So how do you include everybody in your love?
April 14, 2021
5:32
Should love be unconditional or conditional? | Sadhguru in Conversation with Juhi Chawla | #2
Synopsis: Sadhguru, you just mentioned love. And today it is about life and love. And I would like to know, for us it is, maybe love your family members, whoever it could be. Why I ask you this is, because there’s so many versions of this and I really want to get to it. Some teachers, some gurus, some guides, will say, you know, you can love but you must be detached. You must...
show more...
... love but it cannot be conditional, it should be unconditional. So there’s different versions of it. I just want to know.
Synopsis: Sadhguru, you just mentioned love. And today it is about life and love....
show more...
... And I would like to know, for us it is, maybe love your family members, whoever it could be. Why I ask you this is, because there’s so many versions of this and I really want to get to it. Some teachers, some gurus, some guides, will say, you know, you can love but you must be detached. You must love but it cannot be conditional, it should be unconditional. So there’s different versions of it. I just want to know.
April 14, 2021
5:56
How do we keep a balance between inter-personal and intra-personal promises? | Sadhguru at University of Toronto | #10
Synopsis: With respect to inter-personal promises and intra-personal promises, seeing that there are two types of promises that we make; to others and to ourselves. How do we balance both of those? Specially, considering, sometimes we have to keep the inter-personal promises at the cost of your intra-personal promises.
Synopsis: With respect to inter-personal promises and intra-personal promises,...
show more...
... seeing that there are two types of promises that we make; to others and to ourselves. How do we balance both of those? Specially, considering, sometimes we have to keep the inter-personal promises at the cost of your intra-personal promises.
April 12, 2021
5:25
What does it mean to love somebody? | Sadhguru at University of Toronto | #4
Synopsis: So, love is like a universal topic. It’s in movies, songs, it seems like such a basic component of life. Yet, it’s really hard for us to define it. Really hard for us to truly know when we’re in love, to truly know if it’s the right kind of love. If it actually is love. If it’s just infatuation. If you feel really strongly, it must be love, because you can’t...
show more...
... get them out of your head. And maybe that’s just me as a young person. But, ya, so love can be very, a very big topic. So, the question that we’ve sourced from the UofT community is, what does it mean to love someone, both conditionally and healthily?
Synopsis: So, love is like a universal topic. It’s in movies, songs, it seems...
show more...
... like such a basic component of life. Yet, it’s really hard for us to define it. Really hard for us to truly know when we’re in love, to truly know if it’s the right kind of love. If it actually is love. If it’s just infatuation. If you feel really strongly, it must be love, because you can’t get them out of your head. And maybe that’s just me as a young person. But, ya, so love can be very, a very big topic. So, the question that we’ve sourced from the UofT community is, what does it mean to love someone, both conditionally and healthily?
April 12, 2021
9:12
How to deal with a difficult partner
Transcript: If your concern is your spiritual growth only then if you have a demon for your partner that's the best thing. But your partner, your husband, wife is not just about spiritual growth you also want to have a pleasant life in the family then you have to choose. Someone who like, whom you like but little.... there is a.... any human being on the planet, there is something that you don't like about them....
show more...
... isn't it so? So, you use that part of it, for your spiritual growth and the rest of it you enjoy.
Just as life. So if your intention is to have a good family, then some rapport is needed between two people, otherwise it won't work. Especially if you have produced children, then rapport is must, otherwise you'll foul the new life that's come up. If you create a foul atmosphere you'll foul up the new life that is coming up. Nobody has any right to do that actually, but people are doing it. But no human being has any right, you can mess yourself up as much as you want, that's up to you. But you can't mess up a fresh life that's just coming up. So, if you're looking for good life, family life, then one has to find rapport and that rapport means, some areas of commonality at least. But if you're looking for spiritual life, it doesn't matter what kind of person he is. You can use everything for your growth, everything, for your growth. If that's all your focus is. But generally your focus is both ways you want to have a little bit of that and a little bit of this. So mixed fair, so it gets a little complex. So, to build a rapport takes effort, takes compromise, takes love, endurance, takes endurance you know. Somebody is constantly like this, you want to build a rapport with that person but you don't want to go his way, that takes lots of endurance. Yes or no?
People whom you love are not easy. So, what can you do? One thing is to transform yourself in such a way, being in your presence unknowingly their cup will turn around..
Transcript: If your concern is your spiritual growth only then if you have a demon for your partner that's the best...
show more...
... thing. But your partner, your husband, wife is not just about spiritual growth you also want to have a pleasant life in the family then you have to choose. Someone who like, whom you like but little.... there is a.... any human being on the planet, there is something that you don't like about them. isn't it so? So, you use that part of it, for your spiritual growth and the rest of it you enjoy.
Just as life. So if your intention is to have a good family, then some rapport is needed between two people, otherwise it won't work. Especially if you have produced children, then rapport is must, otherwise you'll foul the new life that's come up. If you create a foul atmosphere you'll foul up the new life that is coming up. Nobody has any right to do that actually, but people are doing it. But no human being has any right, you can mess yourself up as much as you want, that's up to you. But you can't mess up a fresh life that's just coming up. So, if you're looking for good life, family life, then one has to find rapport and that rapport means, some areas of commonality at least. But if you're looking for spiritual life, it doesn't matter what kind of person he is. You can use everything for your growth, everything, for your growth. If that's all your focus is. But generally your focus is both ways you want to have a little bit of that and a little bit of this. So mixed fair, so it gets a little complex. So, to build a rapport takes effort, takes compromise, takes love, endurance, takes endurance you know. Somebody is constantly like this, you want to build a rapport with that person but you don't want to go his way, that takes lots of endurance. Yes or no?
People whom you love are not easy. So, what can you do? One thing is to transform yourself in such a way, being in your presence unknowingly their cup will turn around..
January 13, 2021
3:52
How do you reconcile your own goals and principles versus the person you love? | Sadhguru at Columbia University | #8
Synopsis: Changing here slightly, I have a question submitted by the prolific anonymous. How do you, Sadhguru, decide between your principles/ goals/ priorities versus the person you like the most? The goals and principles both come from the same mind/ heart. And our anonymous used the word like but we can also use love in there too. But I guess the question is, how do you reconcile...
show more...
... your own goals and principles versus the person you like, or love?
Synopsis: Changing here slightly, I have a question submitted by the prolific anonymous....
show more...
... How do you, Sadhguru, decide between your principles/ goals/ priorities versus the person you like the most? The goals and principles both come from the same mind/ heart. And our anonymous used the word like but we can also use love in there too. But I guess the question is, how do you reconcile your own goals and principles versus the person you like, or love?
January 7, 2021
12:29
Water conservation | Sadhguru in Conversation with Matthew Hayden | #7
Synopsis: So I can assume that, with that philosophy, you’re extremely cause driven. And that Isha Foundation is obviously a huge vehicle for you to express that. But, I want to talk specifically about water. And what your vision for the conservation of water is. And some of the things that you’re pro-actively doing within the causes. And the relationships as well, with, in...
show more...
... particular, your hot lands of Tamil Nadu and also Karnataka.
Synopsis: So I can assume that, with that philosophy, you’re extremely cause...
show more...
... driven. And that Isha Foundation is obviously a huge vehicle for you to express that. But, I want to talk specifically about water. And what your vision for the conservation of water is. And some of the things that you’re pro-actively doing within the causes. And the relationships as well, with, in particular, your hot lands of Tamil Nadu and also Karnataka.
January 2, 2021
17:05
What is the right age to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? | Sadhguru at Christ University | #10
Synopsis: What is the right age to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?
Synopsis: ...
show more...
...What is the right age to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?
January 1, 2021
12:53
What is love?
Transcript: The moment people see you, even from a distance, there's a sudden outpouring of love. Complete outpouring of love. So let's talk about love. This is one kind of a love. What happens? Is there something, is it a release? That could be one thing for this and their own stress and emotion release. On the other hand, is there some kind of energy that you're transmitting to them? Is that energy possible...
show more...
... only in a loving relationship? Even between you and the people, or between people themselves. What is that energy called love? And then let's relate it to man and woman because that's the love most of us know. Love or hate, whichever you like. Let's talk about love. There is no such thing as an energy that is love. Life is a certain energy, you're a certain life energy. Many parts of this life energy is finding expression as thought, as body, physical action, emotion. And there are other dimensions, of course. Energy action. If you can perform only physical activity in your life, the span and the scope of that activity is very limited. Because you empower your physical activity with your mental activity, depending upon the keenness and the intensity of your mental activity, your physical activity takes on a different level, as if it moves to a different dimension because of the mental activity. If you make a movie, if it's all physical, it's one way. There is a certain intellect involved in it, it's another way. There's a certain emotion involved in it, it's another way. Isn't it so? So that's so with life also. So, these are different levels of intensity. Physical is at one level of intensity, intellectual is another level of intensity, emotion is a different level of intensity. Generally people are looking down upon emotion as something less than intellect. Which is a very wrong thing they're doing. Which I think slowly people are realizing, they're talking about emotional intelligence now. Because emotion is capable of being of a higher intensity then intellect, in many ways. Intellect has a certain coolness, intellect has a certain penetration. But emotion can just embrace everything. Intellect can know pieces of life, emotion can know the wholeness of life. So this is the reason why spiritual traditions, always, have made devotion the biggest thing. Because a devotee looks like a fool for an intellectual person. But what a devotee knows, in terms of life's experience, and what he knows in terms of perception of life in its totality, an intellectual personal will never touch that. So a devotee looks like a fool, but the real fool is elsewhere. So right now what's happening here, when people are around me, is neither intellect, nor emotion, nor body. It's another dimension, which is just pure reverberation of energy.
Transcript: The moment people see you, even from a distance, there's a sudden outpouring of love. Complete outpouring...
show more...
... of love. So let's talk about love. This is one kind of a love. What happens? Is there something, is it a release? That could be one thing for this and their own stress and emotion release. On the other hand, is there some kind of energy that you're transmitting to them? Is that energy possible only in a loving relationship? Even between you and the people, or between people themselves. What is that energy called love? And then let's relate it to man and woman because that's the love most of us know. Love or hate, whichever you like. Let's talk about love. There is no such thing as an energy that is love. Life is a certain energy, you're a certain life energy. Many parts of this life energy is finding expression as thought, as body, physical action, emotion. And there are other dimensions, of course. Energy action. If you can perform only physical activity in your life, the span and the scope of that activity is very limited. Because you empower your physical activity with your mental activity, depending upon the keenness and the intensity of your mental activity, your physical activity takes on a different level, as if it moves to a different dimension because of the mental activity. If you make a movie, if it's all physical, it's one way. There is a certain intellect involved in it, it's another way. There's a certain emotion involved in it, it's another way. Isn't it so? So that's so with life also. So, these are different levels of intensity. Physical is at one level of intensity, intellectual is another level of intensity, emotion is a different level of intensity. Generally people are looking down upon emotion as something less than intellect. Which is a very wrong thing they're doing. Which I think slowly people are realizing, they're talking about emotional intelligence now. Because emotion is capable of being of a higher intensity then intellect, in many ways. Intellect has a certain coolness, intellect has a certain penetration. But emotion can just embrace everything. Intellect can know pieces of life, emotion can know the wholeness of life. So this is the reason why spiritual traditions, always, have made devotion the biggest thing. Because a devotee looks like a fool for an intellectual person. But what a devotee knows, in terms of life's experience, and what he knows in terms of perception of life in its totality, an intellectual personal will never touch that. So a devotee looks like a fool, but the real fool is elsewhere. So right now what's happening here, when people are around me, is neither intellect, nor emotion, nor body. It's another dimension, which is just pure reverberation of energy.
December 7, 2020
3:41
What is the deepest form of love?
Transcript: Yesterday I went through this amazing experience with you, it was a collective experience. And then I saw your relationship with the meditators who were the volunteers in this incredible course that we did. And there was something that connected you. Now, I've heard stories about this. I've heard that as Jesus walked in, that he spread this love and we always wondered, how could he just spread love?...
show more...
... I saw that yesterday. But I saw tears in their eyes, we could explain that. But I saw tears in your eyes because I saw a two-way relationship. So let's just keep with this idea of a guru, and tell me what is this two-way? Because I saw you like a devotee, you know, you were like them. When you were talking, when you went to them, it was not just their emotion, it was yours. See, here you're using the word devotee. I don't know whether they're devoted or not, my life is devoted to them. That's for sure. My whole life is devoted to every human being on this planet, every creature on this planet. So, devotion is just a deeper love affair. When I say a deeper love affair, generally, these days at least, people are understanding a love affair is some kind of a transaction of give and take. Devotion is a deeper love affair of just absolutely giving. Whether take is there or not just doesn't matter and it doesn't occur in your mind. So, for me, my love affair is just with everything that I set my eyes upon. Whether it's a man, woman, child, animate, inanimate, it doesn't matter. Whatever I set my eyes upon, I'm in a deep embrace with that. So for me to come to tears, I don't even have to look at a human being. If I look at a cloud, I'll come to tears. If I look at a tree, I come to tears. If I close my eyes, I'll come to tears. So, tears is not even about love. If you tell me I'm in love with people, I wouldn't feel that's a great thing. I feel you're lowering the whole thing. I'm not in love, because love is still a kind of a transaction. This is a certain dimension of inclusiveness. Actually, in my experience, there is nobody else in this planet, nobody else in this existence, it's just me. In my experience. I don't see myself and somebody else, I just see myself. So this is not even devotion, this is not even love, this is just inclusiveness. And this is not my idea, this is not my philosophy, this is the way existence is. If you do not constipate your consciousness by being identified with limited things, like your own body, your own mind, your own culture, your own religion, your own family, your own whatever. Your own species, for that matter. If you do not constipate your consciousness with that kind of limitations, the existence is all inclusive. Well, science can prove it to you today. Isn't it?
Transcript: Yesterday I went through this amazing experience with you, it was a collective experience. And then I...
show more...
... saw your relationship with the meditators who were the volunteers in this incredible course that we did. And there was something that connected you. Now, I've heard stories about this. I've heard that as Jesus walked in, that he spread this love and we always wondered, how could he just spread love? I saw that yesterday. But I saw tears in their eyes, we could explain that. But I saw tears in your eyes because I saw a two-way relationship. So let's just keep with this idea of a guru, and tell me what is this two-way? Because I saw you like a devotee, you know, you were like them. When you were talking, when you went to them, it was not just their emotion, it was yours. See, here you're using the word devotee. I don't know whether they're devoted or not, my life is devoted to them. That's for sure. My whole life is devoted to every human being on this planet, every creature on this planet. So, devotion is just a deeper love affair. When I say a deeper love affair, generally, these days at least, people are understanding a love affair is some kind of a transaction of give and take. Devotion is a deeper love affair of just absolutely giving. Whether take is there or not just doesn't matter and it doesn't occur in your mind. So, for me, my love affair is just with everything that I set my eyes upon. Whether it's a man, woman, child, animate, inanimate, it doesn't matter. Whatever I set my eyes upon, I'm in a deep embrace with that. So for me to come to tears, I don't even have to look at a human being. If I look at a cloud, I'll come to tears. If I look at a tree, I come to tears. If I close my eyes, I'll come to tears. So, tears is not even about love. If you tell me I'm in love with people, I wouldn't feel that's a great thing. I feel you're lowering the whole thing. I'm not in love, because love is still a kind of a transaction. This is a certain dimension of inclusiveness. Actually, in my experience, there is nobody else in this planet, nobody else in this existence, it's just me. In my experience. I don't see myself and somebody else, I just see myself. So this is not even devotion, this is not even love, this is just inclusiveness. And this is not my idea, this is not my philosophy, this is the way existence is. If you do not constipate your consciousness by being identified with limited things, like your own body, your own mind, your own culture, your own religion, your own family, your own whatever. Your own species, for that matter. If you do not constipate your consciousness with that kind of limitations, the existence is all inclusive. Well, science can prove it to you today. Isn't it?
December 6, 2020
3:33
What is the opposite of love – hate or attachment?
Transcript: Generally, we are thinking love, hate are two opposite things. But it is not essentially so, they're just the flip side of the coin, you know. Two sides of the coin. So you can't hate somebody that you have nothing to do with. You're in love with somebody and it turns negative for some reason, that's when real hate, isn't it? So is hate opposite to love? In a way it is. But fundamentally it is not....
show more...
... In a basic way it is not, on the surface it is. I would say attachment is more against love than hate. You would always connect love and attachment. Love and attachment have nothing to do with each other. Hate and attachment, more connected because if it falls this way, it becomes love, if it falls that way, it becomes hate. Attachment, see, the moment attachment enters your life, anxiety comes. Once anxiety comes, fear follows. Once fear comes, madness will follow. Now your child went to school, supposed to come back at 5 O'clock. 6, not come back, anxiety. 7, not come back, madness. 8, not come back, gone totally insane, isn't it? So suddenly you cannot become mad. It is just that it's always there, it just needs a situation to expose you, that's all. It needs a little extreme situation to expose you. It's always there with you, the moment you enter the attachment, you have entered into madness. But right now, you are always thinking love and attachment. The nature of love, if you want to use an analogy, love is like a flower, you know. If you hold it in your hand, you have to walk carefully. You can't do like this, it'll just fall apart in your hands. You have to walk carefully with it. But attachment is not like that, it is concretized. It is like a plastic flower. Plastic is never flower. You may make it look like that, you may spray perfumes on it, but it's not flower. Flower is that which flowers, isn't it? Plastic is not flower. So if you keep flowers in your house, you have to watch it ten times a day. It's a nuisance actually. But it's life. If you buy plastic flowers, five years guarantee. You don't have to look at it, it's always there. If your children are being very naughty, you can pull it out of the ways and whack them with it. Guests are coming, you can put it back. It just serves all purposes, multi-purpose. It's guaranteed, it's convenient, it's cheaper. In every way it makes sense, but it's not life, that's the big difference.
Transcript: Generally, we are thinking love, hate are two opposite things. But it is not essentially so, they're...
show more...
... just the flip side of the coin, you know. Two sides of the coin. So you can't hate somebody that you have nothing to do with. You're in love with somebody and it turns negative for some reason, that's when real hate, isn't it? So is hate opposite to love? In a way it is. But fundamentally it is not. In a basic way it is not, on the surface it is. I would say attachment is more against love than hate. You would always connect love and attachment. Love and attachment have nothing to do with each other. Hate and attachment, more connected because if it falls this way, it becomes love, if it falls that way, it becomes hate. Attachment, see, the moment attachment enters your life, anxiety comes. Once anxiety comes, fear follows. Once fear comes, madness will follow. Now your child went to school, supposed to come back at 5 O'clock. 6, not come back, anxiety. 7, not come back, madness. 8, not come back, gone totally insane, isn't it? So suddenly you cannot become mad. It is just that it's always there, it just needs a situation to expose you, that's all. It needs a little extreme situation to expose you. It's always there with you, the moment you enter the attachment, you have entered into madness. But right now, you are always thinking love and attachment. The nature of love, if you want to use an analogy, love is like a flower, you know. If you hold it in your hand, you have to walk carefully. You can't do like this, it'll just fall apart in your hands. You have to walk carefully with it. But attachment is not like that, it is concretized. It is like a plastic flower. Plastic is never flower. You may make it look like that, you may spray perfumes on it, but it's not flower. Flower is that which flowers, isn't it? Plastic is not flower. So if you keep flowers in your house, you have to watch it ten times a day. It's a nuisance actually. But it's life. If you buy plastic flowers, five years guarantee. You don't have to look at it, it's always there. If your children are being very naughty, you can pull it out of the ways and whack them with it. Guests are coming, you can put it back. It just serves all purposes, multi-purpose. It's guaranteed, it's convenient, it's cheaper. In every way it makes sense, but it's not life, that's the big difference.
November 20, 2020
4:06
The ‘I love you’ mantra – a mutual benefit scheme
Transcript: See, people are talking about. They not only love people around them, they love god these days. Now, if you sincerely look at it, all this is just plain survival. Please you have needs to fulfill. Even if you love somebody, you have needs to fulfill, isn't it? Physical, emotional, psychological, financial, social, so many needs to fulfill you have. To fulfill these needs, 'I love you' is always a good...
show more...
... mantra. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai went to the park. In the park, on one of the stone benches, a pretty woman was sitting. He went and settled down on the same bench. After a few minutes, he moved closer to her, she moved little away. Few more minutes, again he moved little closer, she moved little away. Now she's at the end of the bench. Now he again moved a little closer. Now the only option is, she has to either get up and leave, or do something else. So she pushed him away. Then Shankaran Pillai waited for a few minutes. Sun was just setting, you know, that evening, twilight, you can say many things. He went down on his knees and told her, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." This twilight zone. If it is in the middle of the afternoon, nobody would believe you. But you know, when the sun is setting, a woman is always a fool for love. She melted. She melted, things happened between them. Then it's nearing 8 O'clock. Shankaran Pillai got up in a hurry, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "What? You're going? You said you love me." As far as she's concerned, the moment he uttered the word 'I love you', they have become one. He said, "No, no I need to go. My wife is waiting. 8 O'clock I have to be there." So, 'I love you' is like that open sesame, you know. You know the story? So to get what you want to get, this is a good mantra. As long as you have needs within you, it doesn't arise. Love doesn't arise, please see. Because wherever you go, you have to fulfill your needs. Needs are there. So the whole effort of yoga, in yoga we never talk about love. Not because there's no value to it, simply because if you try, it will not come. If you transcend your needs, you will naturally become loving. People, whom you claim to love, please see there is an arrangement. It's a mutual benefit scheme. You give me this, I'll give you that. But if you don't give me this, I won't give you that, isn't it so?
Transcript: See, people are talking about. They not only love people around them, they love god these days. Now,...
show more...
... if you sincerely look at it, all this is just plain survival. Please you have needs to fulfill. Even if you love somebody, you have needs to fulfill, isn't it? Physical, emotional, psychological, financial, social, so many needs to fulfill you have. To fulfill these needs, 'I love you' is always a good mantra. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai went to the park. In the park, on one of the stone benches, a pretty woman was sitting. He went and settled down on the same bench. After a few minutes, he moved closer to her, she moved little away. Few more minutes, again he moved little closer, she moved little away. Now she's at the end of the bench. Now he again moved a little closer. Now the only option is, she has to either get up and leave, or do something else. So she pushed him away. Then Shankaran Pillai waited for a few minutes. Sun was just setting, you know, that evening, twilight, you can say many things. He went down on his knees and told her, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." This twilight zone. If it is in the middle of the afternoon, nobody would believe you. But you know, when the sun is setting, a woman is always a fool for love. She melted. She melted, things happened between them. Then it's nearing 8 O'clock. Shankaran Pillai got up in a hurry, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "What? You're going? You said you love me." As far as she's concerned, the moment he uttered the word 'I love you', they have become one. He said, "No, no I need to go. My wife is waiting. 8 O'clock I have to be there." So, 'I love you' is like that open sesame, you know. You know the story? So to get what you want to get, this is a good mantra. As long as you have needs within you, it doesn't arise. Love doesn't arise, please see. Because wherever you go, you have to fulfill your needs. Needs are there. So the whole effort of yoga, in yoga we never talk about love. Not because there's no value to it, simply because if you try, it will not come. If you transcend your needs, you will naturally become loving. People, whom you claim to love, please see there is an arrangement. It's a mutual benefit scheme. You give me this, I'll give you that. But if you don't give me this, I won't give you that, isn't it so?
November 17, 2020
3:59
How to handle an irritating spouse?
Transcript: This question is from Deepika. Sadhguru you said in one of the darshan that you are, you should treat everyone just as you treat me. Sadhguru you are a Karuna-avatar, but I have one inhuman, nasty creature in my home. It becomes difficult to see you in him. How to deal with him in this situation? In how many years of marriage does this evolution happen? Or it's a devolution. I'm sure he was a wonderful,...
show more...
... romantic wonderful man at one time. I don't know in how many years of marriage does he become a nasty creature. And how much role you have in making of a nasty creature. See, especially if he is nasty creature, especially, if it is so, this is your perception. But, especially if somebody is a nasty creature in your home or in your office or wherever you are. You seeing something in a certain way, is not about them. It's about you. Do you want to keep your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body pleasant or unpleasant? You make up your mind on that one. Now if you look at him, I said even that nasty creature, please look at him it's like me. I am not telling you that you have to listen to his teaching or take new practices from him. No. I am saying, if you have looked at me with a certain sense of reverence, devotion, love, affection, whatever is your emotion. If you have, please see everything with that because all I'm saying is, you have a body, you have a mind, you have emotion, energy. We're talking about your emotion right now. If you hit a certain level of sweetness of emotion at one point in your life, either because of your love or devotion or compassion of whatever, you hit a certain level of sweetness, this is the high point in your life. Now you should not come back from that, you must see how to go beyond that. I am saying, whatever was the highest or the sweetest or the most wonderful emotion, you have, make that the baseline. Why are you coming back again? If you did not know such an emotion, then what would I tell you, which is the sweetest emotion you had in your life? My child. Okay see, everybody as your child, we've told you that at one time. Then I saw you sat here with tears of blissfulness and love coming out of you, then I said see everybody as you're looking at me right now. Because this will make your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body, and your very being sweet and wonderful. This is not about him. Especially if he is being difficult, then you are being well trained, even if you go to hell you will do well.
Transcript: This question is from Deepika. Sadhguru you said in one of the darshan that you are, you should treat...
show more...
... everyone just as you treat me. Sadhguru you are a Karuna-avatar, but I have one inhuman, nasty creature in my home. It becomes difficult to see you in him. How to deal with him in this situation? In how many years of marriage does this evolution happen? Or it's a devolution. I'm sure he was a wonderful, romantic wonderful man at one time. I don't know in how many years of marriage does he become a nasty creature. And how much role you have in making of a nasty creature. See, especially if he is nasty creature, especially, if it is so, this is your perception. But, especially if somebody is a nasty creature in your home or in your office or wherever you are. You seeing something in a certain way, is not about them. It's about you. Do you want to keep your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body pleasant or unpleasant? You make up your mind on that one. Now if you look at him, I said even that nasty creature, please look at him it's like me. I am not telling you that you have to listen to his teaching or take new practices from him. No. I am saying, if you have looked at me with a certain sense of reverence, devotion, love, affection, whatever is your emotion. If you have, please see everything with that because all I'm saying is, you have a body, you have a mind, you have emotion, energy. We're talking about your emotion right now. If you hit a certain level of sweetness of emotion at one point in your life, either because of your love or devotion or compassion of whatever, you hit a certain level of sweetness, this is the high point in your life. Now you should not come back from that, you must see how to go beyond that. I am saying, whatever was the highest or the sweetest or the most wonderful emotion, you have, make that the baseline. Why are you coming back again? If you did not know such an emotion, then what would I tell you, which is the sweetest emotion you had in your life? My child. Okay see, everybody as your child, we've told you that at one time. Then I saw you sat here with tears of blissfulness and love coming out of you, then I said see everybody as you're looking at me right now. Because this will make your eyes, your mind, your heart, your body, and your very being sweet and wonderful. This is not about him. Especially if he is being difficult, then you are being well trained, even if you go to hell you will do well.
October 28, 2020
3:59
How do I know I’m in love? Have you ever fallen in love?
Transcript: See, the english expression you heard, falling in love. The phrase is significant. Falling in love, you don't rise in love, you don't fly in love, you fall in love. Because something of who you are has to go, something of what you think I am, should fall. Only then there is a love affair. You are willing to destroy a bit of yourself for the sake of the other. A bit. Because love means, essentially,...
show more...
... somebody else has become far more important than yourself. Only if what you consider as myself false, something far bigger than you happens to you.
Transcript: See, the english expression you heard, falling in love. The phrase is significant. Falling in love, you...
show more...
... don't rise in love, you don't fly in love, you fall in love. Because something of who you are has to go, something of what you think I am, should fall. Only then there is a love affair. You are willing to destroy a bit of yourself for the sake of the other. A bit. Because love means, essentially, somebody else has become far more important than yourself. Only if what you consider as myself false, something far bigger than you happens to you.
October 21, 2020
1:18
How to handle grief of losing someone dear?
Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance...
show more...
... of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.
Transcript: Let us understand this. This is not to belittle anybody's loss. But I want you to understand this that...
show more...
... grief is always about loss. Loss means that we lost something. It is not about somebody's death. People can grieve loss of possession, positions, or even professions. So it's essentially about that an individual human being lost something. When it comes to people, if you lose them to death, the significance of this loss is that it cannot be replaced. Possessions can be replaced, positions can be replaced. Money and wealth can be replaced. But when we lose a person, we cannot replace. So the grief becomes more profound in this case. This is happening to us simply because we have built our persona like a collage. Who we are is because of what we possess, the positions that we hold, the relationships that we hold, and the people who are in our lives. If any one of these things fall out, it leaves a vacuum in our persona. This is what we're suffering. So it's very important that our relationships come from the basis of our fullness. Not as an instrument to fill our life with a relationship. If you use a relationship to make yourself complete, then when you lose it you become empty. If you form a relationship because you want to share your fullness, then there will be no grief. When we lose somebody very dear to us all this may not work. This looks like trivializing one's loss. So this must be cultivated throughout our life. That who we are is not determined by what we have in our lives. Who we are decides what we have in our lives. This must happen to every human being. This is what spiritual process means.
September 12, 2020
2:39
PDA – Is public display of affection ok?
Transcript: You said, today young people have relationships. Unfortunately, you have come to a place where you think that a relationship means it must be body-based. There must be something biologically involved. Biology is a part of our life. The significance of becoming human, compared to other creatures is, they're complete biology. We are only part biology. We have other dimensions to us. We have an intelligence,...
show more...
... we have an emotion, we have a consciousness, which is of another dimension. Biology is only one part of us. If an earthworm says I have a relationship and if both of them tangle each other, I understand. If a human being says I have a relationship, it could be a friend, it could be a brother, it could be a sister, it could be variety of relationships. And also, body-based relationships. So this thing about using the word relationship only with biological stuff is essentially because somewhere unknowingly, unknowingly, maybe because of the internet, you got enslaved to America. It all started in United States. Relationship means, it has to be opposite sex, or something sexual. Why can't we hold relationships of other kind? Hello? Are we not capable? I'm asking. Can't we have very intimate, profound relationships with people, without fondling their bodies? I'm asking. Possible or no? Yes. Biology is not the most prominent aspect of being human. It is there. It's not something that you can, you know, put under the carpet. It is very much there. But, it is not the dominant aspect of being human. With other creatures it is so. With the human being, the most significant aspect of who we are is our intelligence, our emotion, our consciousness. These are big things. Body is just one part of it. I'm not saying you must ignore the body, body is there. Now when you say, young people. You're talking about those people whose intelligence has been hijacked by hormones. When you were 10 years of age, you looked at people, everybody was fine. Quite okay. You became 14-15, you looked at them. Every little bump on their body suddenly became a world by itself. Yes or no? You have to wait for some more time. When the hormonal thing goes down, then you look at people, again they're all looking normal. So, it's not a question of right and wrong. It's not a question of morality. It is just a question of priority. What kind of priority do you want to give to your own bodily compulsions?
Transcript: You said, today young people have relationships. Unfortunately, you have come to a place where you think...
show more...
... that a relationship means it must be body-based. There must be something biologically involved. Biology is a part of our life. The significance of becoming human, compared to other creatures is, they're complete biology. We are only part biology. We have other dimensions to us. We have an intelligence, we have an emotion, we have a consciousness, which is of another dimension. Biology is only one part of us. If an earthworm says I have a relationship and if both of them tangle each other, I understand. If a human being says I have a relationship, it could be a friend, it could be a brother, it could be a sister, it could be variety of relationships. And also, body-based relationships. So this thing about using the word relationship only with biological stuff is essentially because somewhere unknowingly, unknowingly, maybe because of the internet, you got enslaved to America. It all started in United States. Relationship means, it has to be opposite sex, or something sexual. Why can't we hold relationships of other kind? Hello? Are we not capable? I'm asking. Can't we have very intimate, profound relationships with people, without fondling their bodies? I'm asking. Possible or no? Yes. Biology is not the most prominent aspect of being human. It is there. It's not something that you can, you know, put under the carpet. It is very much there. But, it is not the dominant aspect of being human. With other creatures it is so. With the human being, the most significant aspect of who we are is our intelligence, our emotion, our consciousness. These are big things. Body is just one part of it. I'm not saying you must ignore the body, body is there. Now when you say, young people. You're talking about those people whose intelligence has been hijacked by hormones. When you were 10 years of age, you looked at people, everybody was fine. Quite okay. You became 14-15, you looked at them. Every little bump on their body suddenly became a world by itself. Yes or no? You have to wait for some more time. When the hormonal thing goes down, then you look at people, again they're all looking normal. So, it's not a question of right and wrong. It's not a question of morality. It is just a question of priority. What kind of priority do you want to give to your own bodily compulsions?
September 7, 2020
3:37
Is love at first sight real?
Transcript: It means you're in a hurry. It means you're in a big rush. Well, you must understand this. There are many aspects to this. These terminologies come from another time. Love as first sight, what you're talking about, right? Right? Love as first sight was happening very commonly at one time. When the opposite genders would not have seen each other on a daily basis. You only got to see the girl when she...
show more...
... was, this is a English scene I'm talking about. When the girl got into the carriage with her parents and you're just looking, and she just looked at you like this. Boom! Thunderbolt. Now she's walking with you, talking with you, studying with you, now it'll take time. And it's good it takes time. More time it takes, the better it is. So, these kind of terminologies come from another time, when there was no exposure between genders. The first girl you saw, boom! So, you may be drawn to a certain person, that is a different thing. But, these things are essentially lack of exposure. If you have sufficient exposure, you will see, you will look at somebody and you don't go boom like that. You will take your tme and it's good. It's good that you take your time to form proper, strong relationships that'll last. See, you make a relationship in life because somewhere you think, two is better than one, isn't it? Two may be better than one for you, but you may be a nuisance in the relationship. Yes? So, before you form any relationship of some gravity in life, first thing is, just look at this one. Is this one good enough for everything in the world? Because youth is the time when you must build this one. Don't be in a rush to live. Don't be in a rush to live when you have to grow. So there is a time to grow and there's a time to live. Too early, if you try to live, then you will see growth will not happen, because growth happens at a certain time very easily. Later on, not that it cannot happen. It will become more difficult because life will engage you in many different ways. So when you're young, when you're studying, this is the time to grow on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, energy wise. You must maximize yourself. Then you try to live. If you try to live too early, you will not become of much substance. If you're not of much substance, the person that you hold relationships with, if they grow well, they will look at you and wonder, why did I get trapped with this one. Yes?
Transcript: It means you're in a hurry. It means you're in a big rush. Well, you must understand this. There are...
show more...
... many aspects to this. These terminologies come from another time. Love as first sight, what you're talking about, right? Right? Love as first sight was happening very commonly at one time. When the opposite genders would not have seen each other on a daily basis. You only got to see the girl when she was, this is a English scene I'm talking about. When the girl got into the carriage with her parents and you're just looking, and she just looked at you like this. Boom! Thunderbolt. Now she's walking with you, talking with you, studying with you, now it'll take time. And it's good it takes time. More time it takes, the better it is. So, these kind of terminologies come from another time, when there was no exposure between genders. The first girl you saw, boom! So, you may be drawn to a certain person, that is a different thing. But, these things are essentially lack of exposure. If you have sufficient exposure, you will see, you will look at somebody and you don't go boom like that. You will take your tme and it's good. It's good that you take your time to form proper, strong relationships that'll last. See, you make a relationship in life because somewhere you think, two is better than one, isn't it? Two may be better than one for you, but you may be a nuisance in the relationship. Yes? So, before you form any relationship of some gravity in life, first thing is, just look at this one. Is this one good enough for everything in the world? Because youth is the time when you must build this one. Don't be in a rush to live. Don't be in a rush to live when you have to grow. So there is a time to grow and there's a time to live. Too early, if you try to live, then you will see growth will not happen, because growth happens at a certain time very easily. Later on, not that it cannot happen. It will become more difficult because life will engage you in many different ways. So when you're young, when you're studying, this is the time to grow on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, energy wise. You must maximize yourself. Then you try to live. If you try to live too early, you will not become of much substance. If you're not of much substance, the person that you hold relationships with, if they grow well, they will look at you and wonder, why did I get trapped with this one. Yes?
September 5, 2020
3:56
Causal Sex – What is wrong with having casual physical relationships?
Transcript: So this body memory, traditionally in this culture we call this Runanbandan. That means, physical memory that you build. You can either consciously build your physical memory or you can simply take in wild amounts of memory and go through lots of physical confusion. Because, if I as much as touch this, this memory, it remembers. You try this with four of your friends. You touch their hands. Don't try...
show more...
... to consciously remember. Everyday touch their hands and forget about it. Tomorrow if that person comes and touches you, you know it's this hand, isn't it? So the body remembers, it's not the mind. The physical body remembers, this is called as Runanbandan. When there is a sexual interaction, or there is any kind of intimacy which involves thought, emotion, and body, the amount of memory that is left in your system is very big. It is from this context they said, you must keep this as simple as possible. There are other aspects where in certain tantric process and all, they're involving. They're preparing themselves for years to distance themselves from the body in such a way that the body doesn't pick up anything from anywhere. This is being done like a sadhana, not as sexual promiscuity. So the question is not of morality. The question is of, what is it that you want to do with yourself in your life. If you want to be in such a way that in your life your inner intelligence will be the most dominant thing in your life, not your physical body, then you must keep the body's memory as simple as possible. This is why simple types of food, you know people go into very simple kind of food, not complicated. Even now, I eat one meal a day and I eat only one item in the meal. I won't eat ten. I may eat all of those things another day, but today I'll eat only one item. Because it makes a huge, just experiment and see don't go by what I'm saying. Just experiment, and especially when your examination time comes, eat simple food and see what a difference it makes. For your intelligence, how it functions, how alert you are, everything. So what is it that you're trying to build yourself to. Do you want to build yourself to be a sexual supernova? Or, no I'm saying, some people may have that intention. That's upto them. But what is it that you want to do with your life is something that you must decide. If you have decided that, it's very, very important that you don't unconsciously pick up enormous amount of memory because this will lead to. Later on you will see, it'll become very difficult to remain peaceful and joyful in your life, no matter what good things may be happening. Simply because there is confusing memories in the system. When, something else of similar nature comes, the body goes into a turmoil of confusion. It may not translate into your mind. Just physically, it will go on. So, it's a choice that one has to make. It's not a question of morality, it is a question of living sensibly.
Transcript: So this body memory, traditionally in this culture we call this Runanbandan. That means, physical memory...
show more...
... that you build. You can either consciously build your physical memory or you can simply take in wild amounts of memory and go through lots of physical confusion. Because, if I as much as touch this, this memory, it remembers. You try this with four of your friends. You touch their hands. Don't try to consciously remember. Everyday touch their hands and forget about it. Tomorrow if that person comes and touches you, you know it's this hand, isn't it? So the body remembers, it's not the mind. The physical body remembers, this is called as Runanbandan. When there is a sexual interaction, or there is any kind of intimacy which involves thought, emotion, and body, the amount of memory that is left in your system is very big. It is from this context they said, you must keep this as simple as possible. There are other aspects where in certain tantric process and all, they're involving. They're preparing themselves for years to distance themselves from the body in such a way that the body doesn't pick up anything from anywhere. This is being done like a sadhana, not as sexual promiscuity. So the question is not of morality. The question is of, what is it that you want to do with yourself in your life. If you want to be in such a way that in your life your inner intelligence will be the most dominant thing in your life, not your physical body, then you must keep the body's memory as simple as possible. This is why simple types of food, you know people go into very simple kind of food, not complicated. Even now, I eat one meal a day and I eat only one item in the meal. I won't eat ten. I may eat all of those things another day, but today I'll eat only one item. Because it makes a huge, just experiment and see don't go by what I'm saying. Just experiment, and especially when your examination time comes, eat simple food and see what a difference it makes. For your intelligence, how it functions, how alert you are, everything. So what is it that you're trying to build yourself to. Do you want to build yourself to be a sexual supernova? Or, no I'm saying, some people may have that intention. That's upto them. But what is it that you want to do with your life is something that you must decide. If you have decided that, it's very, very important that you don't unconsciously pick up enormous amount of memory because this will lead to. Later on you will see, it'll become very difficult to remain peaceful and joyful in your life, no matter what good things may be happening. Simply because there is confusing memories in the system. When, something else of similar nature comes, the body goes into a turmoil of confusion. It may not translate into your mind. Just physically, it will go on. So, it's a choice that one has to make. It's not a question of morality, it is a question of living sensibly.
August 30, 2020
3:41
What to do when my beloved betrays me?
Transcript: See somebody can betray you or you can think they betrayed you. Only because you have unrealistic expectations of them. Well, if they do what they want to do, why do you think they have betrayed you? They're doing what they want to do. You must respect it. If you say, they're beloved to me, I love them. If you love a person, should you let them do what they want to do or should they do what you want...
show more...
... them to do? For most people love means, you must do what I want. No, no. Love means they can do what they want and we will love them. Isn't it? You have this thing that if I love you, you must listen to me. No, no. If I love you, I want you to do what brings joy to you. Isn't it? Just change the concept of your beloved. But Sadhguru, I have a doubt regarding this. What if allowance or going in a way that's not good for them and we want to correct them, and that's why we're telling them. Then you should have been the mother. Because I'm not saying that it is never true that somebody may be going off track and you try to do something for them. I'm not saying it's never true. But you don't take this position that somebody is wrong and you're going to fix them. They're doing what they want to do. Isn't it? What they want to do right now may not be benefitial for them. Possible. But you must look at it sincerely. Are you complaining because it's not benefitial for them? Or you're complaining because it's not benefitial for you? Most of the time it's this. Genuinely look at it, it's not benefitial for you but it's good for them, please let them do it. But, they're damaging themselves, yes then you have a right to intervene and try to do your best. But not always. Not always can you enter somebody's life and do something for them. If I have to enter your life and do something for you, I have to earn it, isn't it? I have to earn a relationship where I can intervene in your life. If you don't earn that, you cannot intervene. So if you're unable to intervene, you must just understand you've not earned that closeness.
Transcript: See somebody can betray you or you can think they betrayed you. Only because you have unrealistic expectations...
show more...
... of them. Well, if they do what they want to do, why do you think they have betrayed you? They're doing what they want to do. You must respect it. If you say, they're beloved to me, I love them. If you love a person, should you let them do what they want to do or should they do what you want them to do? For most people love means, you must do what I want. No, no. Love means they can do what they want and we will love them. Isn't it? You have this thing that if I love you, you must listen to me. No, no. If I love you, I want you to do what brings joy to you. Isn't it? Just change the concept of your beloved. But Sadhguru, I have a doubt regarding this. What if allowance or going in a way that's not good for them and we want to correct them, and that's why we're telling them. Then you should have been the mother. Because I'm not saying that it is never true that somebody may be going off track and you try to do something for them. I'm not saying it's never true. But you don't take this position that somebody is wrong and you're going to fix them. They're doing what they want to do. Isn't it? What they want to do right now may not be benefitial for them. Possible. But you must look at it sincerely. Are you complaining because it's not benefitial for them? Or you're complaining because it's not benefitial for you? Most of the time it's this. Genuinely look at it, it's not benefitial for you but it's good for them, please let them do it. But, they're damaging themselves, yes then you have a right to intervene and try to do your best. But not always. Not always can you enter somebody's life and do something for them. If I have to enter your life and do something for you, I have to earn it, isn't it? I have to earn a relationship where I can intervene in your life. If you don't earn that, you cannot intervene. So if you're unable to intervene, you must just understand you've not earned that closeness.
August 29, 2020
3:14
What does it mean to love someone? | Sadhguru at University of Toronto | #4
Synopsis: So, love is like a universal topic. It’s in movies, songs, it seems like such a basic component of life. Yet, it’s really hard for us to define it. Really hard for us to truly know when we’re in love, to truly know if it’s the right kind of love. If it actually is love. If it’s just infatuation. If you feel really strongly, it must be love, because you can’t...
show more...
... get them out of your head. And maybe that’s just me as a young person. But, ya, so love can be very, a very big topic. So, the question that we’ve sourced from the UofT community is, what does it mean to love someone, both conditionally and healthily?
Synopsis: So, love is like a universal topic. It’s in movies, songs, it seems...
show more...
... like such a basic component of life. Yet, it’s really hard for us to define it. Really hard for us to truly know when we’re in love, to truly know if it’s the right kind of love. If it actually is love. If it’s just infatuation. If you feel really strongly, it must be love, because you can’t get them out of your head. And maybe that’s just me as a young person. But, ya, so love can be very, a very big topic. So, the question that we’ve sourced from the UofT community is, what does it mean to love someone, both conditionally and healthily?
August 26, 2020
9:14
How do we maintain a balance between inter-personal promises and intra-personal promises? | Sadhguru at University of Toronto | #10
Synopsis: With respect to inter-personal promises and intra-personal promises, seeing that there are two types of promises that we make; to others and to ourselves. How do we balance both of those? Specially, considering, sometimes we have to keep the inter-personal promises at the cost of your intra-personal promises.
Synopsis: With respect to inter-personal promises and intra-personal promises,...
show more...
... seeing that there are two types of promises that we make; to others and to ourselves. How do we balance both of those? Specially, considering, sometimes we have to keep the inter-personal promises at the cost of your intra-personal promises.
August 26, 2020
5:25
Arranged marriage or Love marriage – which is a better?
Transcript: Marriage is not about how it happened, who arranged it. Your parents arranged it, or a commercial website arranged it, a dating app arranged it, or a local bar arranged it when you were fuzzy. Or your confused friends arranged it, or your confused self arranged it. Well, anyway, it's an arrangement. It is best it is arranged by responsible, sensible people. This idea, arranged marriage means some kind...
show more...
... of a slavery. Well, that depends. As there are exploitative people everywhere, sometimes your parents themselves may be exploitative, they may be doing things for their own reasons. Their stupid prestige, their wealth, their nonsense. They may be doing it for those reasons. So, this whole debate about, is arrange marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better. Well, I think when you're not little for doubt, I think your decisions are little better. If an 18-20 year old man or woman, young man or young woman want to marry, who will they marry? Their contact is just there. Within those 10 people that they know in their life, one guy or one girl you marry. Within 3 months you will know. But in most countries, there is a law, at least 2 years you must suffer. It's like a jail term. If you make a mistake, at least 2 years you must suffer. Then only you can divorce. Most nations have this. Well, many religions have fixed it that divorce is completely wrong. You cannot divorce. But, where such religions are practiced, there the divorce rates are highest. So, God's dictates are not able to stop the break ups. Law is not able to stop the break ups. You need to understand this, when parents organize, you must, I'm asking you a basic question. Do you believe, their judgement may not be the best, but parents have the best interest of yours. But if you have matured beyond them, that's different. You can make your own decisions. But, arranged marriage is a wrong terminology. All marriages are arranged. By whom, is the only question. I think it's best it's arrange by people who are most concerned about your well-being. Who have a larger reach of, because you can't find the best man, or the best woman in the world. Because we don't know where the hell they are.
Transcript: Marriage is not about how it happened, who arranged it. Your parents arranged it, or a commercial website...
show more...
... arranged it, a dating app arranged it, or a local bar arranged it when you were fuzzy. Or your confused friends arranged it, or your confused self arranged it. Well, anyway, it's an arrangement. It is best it is arranged by responsible, sensible people. This idea, arranged marriage means some kind of a slavery. Well, that depends. As there are exploitative people everywhere, sometimes your parents themselves may be exploitative, they may be doing things for their own reasons. Their stupid prestige, their wealth, their nonsense. They may be doing it for those reasons. So, this whole debate about, is arrange marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better. Well, I think when you're not little for doubt, I think your decisions are little better. If an 18-20 year old man or woman, young man or young woman want to marry, who will they marry? Their contact is just there. Within those 10 people that they know in their life, one guy or one girl you marry. Within 3 months you will know. But in most countries, there is a law, at least 2 years you must suffer. It's like a jail term. If you make a mistake, at least 2 years you must suffer. Then only you can divorce. Most nations have this. Well, many religions have fixed it that divorce is completely wrong. You cannot divorce. But, where such religions are practiced, there the divorce rates are highest. So, God's dictates are not able to stop the break ups. Law is not able to stop the break ups. You need to understand this, when parents organize, you must, I'm asking you a basic question. Do you believe, their judgement may not be the best, but parents have the best interest of yours. But if you have matured beyond them, that's different. You can make your own decisions. But, arranged marriage is a wrong terminology. All marriages are arranged. By whom, is the only question. I think it's best it's arrange by people who are most concerned about your well-being. Who have a larger reach of, because you can't find the best man, or the best woman in the world. Because we don't know where the hell they are.
August 24, 2020
3:39
Are marriages made in heaven?
Transcript: Where all they've been saying marriages are made in heaven. But you're cooking hell within you. Marriage is made in heaven. That's why a lot of people want to go there soon. Because it's made there, they want to go there and settle it. No. You need to understand, to fulfil you needs. Physical, psychological, emotional, social, and various other needs. You're coming together. If you always remember...
show more...
... to fulfil my needs, I'm with you, you will conduct this responsibly. Initially you're like that. After some time you think, he or she needs you. Then you will start acting vanterly. Then, of course, ugliness will start in many different ways. This happened. A young man and a very young woman got engaged. So once the, not like this, there must be a stone. Once the ring went in, the lady held his hand and said, "You can lean on me to share your pains, your struggles, your, whatever sufferings you go through. You can always share with me." The guy said, "Well, I don't have any struggles, or pains, or problems." She said, "Well, we're not yet married." So, if you think you're full of pain, struggles, problems, and you need somebody to lean on, well that'll be trouble. You make yourself into a joyful, wonderful human being, then you will see, your work also will be wonderful, your home also will be wonderful, your marriage will be wonderful. Everything will be wonderful because you are. Without fixing this, you think somebody else is going to fix you, then there's going to be trouble for you. And of course, an unfortunate consequence for the other person.
Transcript: Where all they've been saying marriages are made in heaven. But you're cooking hell within you. Marriage...
show more...
... is made in heaven. That's why a lot of people want to go there soon. Because it's made there, they want to go there and settle it. No. You need to understand, to fulfil you needs. Physical, psychological, emotional, social, and various other needs. You're coming together. If you always remember to fulfil my needs, I'm with you, you will conduct this responsibly. Initially you're like that. After some time you think, he or she needs you. Then you will start acting vanterly. Then, of course, ugliness will start in many different ways. This happened. A young man and a very young woman got engaged. So once the, not like this, there must be a stone. Once the ring went in, the lady held his hand and said, "You can lean on me to share your pains, your struggles, your, whatever sufferings you go through. You can always share with me." The guy said, "Well, I don't have any struggles, or pains, or problems." She said, "Well, we're not yet married." So, if you think you're full of pain, struggles, problems, and you need somebody to lean on, well that'll be trouble. You make yourself into a joyful, wonderful human being, then you will see, your work also will be wonderful, your home also will be wonderful, your marriage will be wonderful. Everything will be wonderful because you are. Without fixing this, you think somebody else is going to fix you, then there's going to be trouble for you. And of course, an unfortunate consequence for the other person.
August 23, 2020
2:54
Why should I have only one partner? Is one-partner a thing of the past?
Transcript: Well, monogamy and polygamy or whatever kind of gamy, if you want to see. The important thing we need to understand is, you know, we are all here. You and me are here. This means a man and woman came together some time ago. Maybe, you think, oh they're parents you know. They don't love, they don't do sex, they don't do anything. Just because a priest uttered a mantra, you were born, probably. No, it's...
show more...
... not like that. Somebody has a physical need, so handle it through marriage, and we're here. When you become 18, you become always against marriage. But when you were 3 years of age, you were for marriage. Your parents' marriage. When you were 3 years of age, were you not glad your parents had a stable marriage? Hello? When you're 18, you think, oh free sex, and no marriage, and everything. But once again, if you become 50-55, then you will look for a relationship that lasts. So it is for you to consider, because it's your life, to consider whether you want to live a life, where emotionally you're always looking out for somebody. Or you settle it in a certain way so that you can use your intelligence and time to create something else. Your research, your work, or whatever you're doing. If emotions and body are settled, actually, your ability to use your intelligence will be much better. Otherwise everyday you have to walk around to find somebody. No, I'm not making this thing because I feel so bad. In United States, people I know, you know thousands of people are involved with me now. People who are 40-45 years of age, women I'm saying, wonderful people. But, they're all on this, these days they've all gone online. Otherwise they go sit in a bar and wait. Somebody needs to pick them up today. It's terrible. Tinder generation. I'm sorry? Tinder generation. Whatever you want to call it. When a woman, at 45, should have been loved and respected in a proper atmosphere, now she's sitting there, looking for some strange guy to come her way. And she's going to make the judgement in the next 10 minutes, when he buys her a drink or a dinner or something. This is tragic.
Transcript: Well, monogamy and polygamy or whatever kind of gamy, if you want to see. The important thing we need...
show more...
... to understand is, you know, we are all here. You and me are here. This means a man and woman came together some time ago. Maybe, you think, oh they're parents you know. They don't love, they don't do sex, they don't do anything. Just because a priest uttered a mantra, you were born, probably. No, it's not like that. Somebody has a physical need, so handle it through marriage, and we're here. When you become 18, you become always against marriage. But when you were 3 years of age, you were for marriage. Your parents' marriage. When you were 3 years of age, were you not glad your parents had a stable marriage? Hello? When you're 18, you think, oh free sex, and no marriage, and everything. But once again, if you become 50-55, then you will look for a relationship that lasts. So it is for you to consider, because it's your life, to consider whether you want to live a life, where emotionally you're always looking out for somebody. Or you settle it in a certain way so that you can use your intelligence and time to create something else. Your research, your work, or whatever you're doing. If emotions and body are settled, actually, your ability to use your intelligence will be much better. Otherwise everyday you have to walk around to find somebody. No, I'm not making this thing because I feel so bad. In United States, people I know, you know thousands of people are involved with me now. People who are 40-45 years of age, women I'm saying, wonderful people. But, they're all on this, these days they've all gone online. Otherwise they go sit in a bar and wait. Somebody needs to pick them up today. It's terrible. Tinder generation. I'm sorry? Tinder generation. Whatever you want to call it. When a woman, at 45, should have been loved and respected in a proper atmosphere, now she's sitting there, looking for some strange guy to come her way. And she's going to make the judgement in the next 10 minutes, when he buys her a drink or a dinner or something. This is tragic.
August 17, 2020
2:53
What is the right age to get into sexually oriented relationships
Transcript: Now, you need to understand that this is a time of your life when you're at the highest level of energy. At this stage in your life, if you create a certain focus and balance within yourself, this energy will translate into something fantastic. But at this stage in your life if you do not bring focus and balance and you earn it, let's say when you're 40-45, you will not have the same energy. This is...
show more...
... something that youth don't understand. That they think this level of energy will be there all your life. No, no, no. It will pass. It is just a question of 8 to 12 to 15 years maximum. From the age of 14 to 30, there is a certain upsurge of energy. At this time, if you learn how to manage this, keep a balance and focus to your life. You bring a focus to your life, this life will function and play at a higher level of life. If you don't bring those things and you're in a hurry to live, then you will see it becomes an uphill task. Not that you won't make it at all, you may make it. But unnecessary struggles through life. So it's individual choice. If somebody has such a strong compulsion, they may go for it. Don't make it a trend. That if you're in a college you must have a body-based relationship. Not necessary. So, essentially you're asking, at what age should I go into sexually oriented relationships. Is that what you're asking? But I think, it'll be, you'll be doing a great service to yourself and to the world if you remove this boyfriend-girlfriend business and call it something else. Call them your, what? Romance, or your love affair, or whatever. Because friend, the word friend must be released from the body. It's very important. Otherwise friendships won't happen. Everybody will be like this because if I say you're my friend, she's afraid. Unnecessarily, isn't it? If I say she's my friend, she will fear, what is he upto? How is he my friend? Release the word friend from the body. It's very important. Let friendships happen all over. Well, body-based relationships happens with another individual. That's different, that's your choice. At what age? See, when you're in education, if you don't take charge of these instruments at this stage in your life, believe me, your own body, your own mind will trip you in so many ways right through your life. You won't ride them, they will ride you. That should not happen. At this stage in your life, let the focus fundamentally be on, how to grow yourself to the best possible place within yourself. Don't be in a hurry to live. Living will happen a little later. If you live too early, you will not live too well. Don't try to live too early. I'm not a moralistic person to tell you, do this, don't do this. If somebody has such a compulsive need, they can do it. But everybody need not make it a trend that if you're in college, you must have a sexually oriented relationship with somebody. There is no compulsion like that. There is no such rule that it must be so.
Transcript: Now, you need to understand that this is a time of your life when you're at the highest level of energy....
show more...
... At this stage in your life, if you create a certain focus and balance within yourself, this energy will translate into something fantastic. But at this stage in your life if you do not bring focus and balance and you earn it, let's say when you're 40-45, you will not have the same energy. This is something that youth don't understand. That they think this level of energy will be there all your life. No, no, no. It will pass. It is just a question of 8 to 12 to 15 years maximum. From the age of 14 to 30, there is a certain upsurge of energy. At this time, if you learn how to manage this, keep a balance and focus to your life. You bring a focus to your life, this life will function and play at a higher level of life. If you don't bring those things and you're in a hurry to live, then you will see it becomes an uphill task. Not that you won't make it at all, you may make it. But unnecessary struggles through life. So it's individual choice. If somebody has such a strong compulsion, they may go for it. Don't make it a trend. That if you're in a college you must have a body-based relationship. Not necessary. So, essentially you're asking, at what age should I go into sexually oriented relationships. Is that what you're asking? But I think, it'll be, you'll be doing a great service to yourself and to the world if you remove this boyfriend-girlfriend business and call it something else. Call them your, what? Romance, or your love affair, or whatever. Because friend, the word friend must be released from the body. It's very important. Otherwise friendships won't happen. Everybody will be like this because if I say you're my friend, she's afraid. Unnecessarily, isn't it? If I say she's my friend, she will fear, what is he upto? How is he my friend? Release the word friend from the body. It's very important. Let friendships happen all over. Well, body-based relationships happens with another individual. That's different, that's your choice. At what age? See, when you're in education, if you don't take charge of these instruments at this stage in your life, believe me, your own body, your own mind will trip you in so many ways right through your life. You won't ride them, they will ride you. That should not happen. At this stage in your life, let the focus fundamentally be on, how to grow yourself to the best possible place within yourself. Don't be in a hurry to live. Living will happen a little later. If you live too early, you will not live too well. Don't try to live too early. I'm not a moralistic person to tell you, do this, don't do this. If somebody has such a compulsive need, they can do it. But everybody need not make it a trend that if you're in college, you must have a sexually oriented relationship with somebody. There is no compulsion like that. There is no such rule that it must be so.
August 2, 2020
3:48
How do I handle conflict with my parents
Transcript: We see quite a generation gap between our generation and our parents' generation. And it sometimes so happens that we.. Not me. No gap between you and me. I'm much younger than you. It sometimes so happens that we want something out of our life and they don't necessarily agree with it. And we end up in a conflict. And we sometimes even curb our desires just to see them happy. So how do we deal with...
show more...
... that conflict? See. Please sit down. This is not a problem with your generation. This is a problem, unfortunately, with every generation. I think it's very silly that every generation has the same problem. If we're in a learning mode, at least we must have a new problem. Isn't it? Every generation has the same problem. Though they were also youth, just 25-30 years ago, somehow they suddenly act like they landed just like as they are today. So, because your parents are not here I can't talk to them. So we'll talk to you. If you want to craft your life the way you want, and what you want if it's not in concurrence with your parents, or the society in which you live in, or university in which you're studying. It can happen. What you choose may not be in line, not only with your parents' choices, may not be in line with your peers' choices. May not be in line with the instituion's choices. May not be in line with the society in which you live. So if you want to do your own thing, you must understand there will be a price to pay. Only thing you're complaining about is, how to have what I want without paying a price? There's no such life. If you want to do what you want, and if what you want is not in line with the larger interest of what is around you, then they will make you pay a price. If what you want means so much to you, you must pay the price. But if you find the price is too much for what little you want to do, you will step back naturally. It's like going to the market, you know. You went and want to buy a few flowers. That guy says 2000 bucks. For flowers, you say no. I want flowers, but no, because he's asking too big a price. This is so with every step in our life. When we want to do something, there will be a price attached to it. We must evaluate, do I want to pay this price? What I want, does it mean so much to me that I'm willing to pay this price? Or I'm not willing to pay this price. This is individual. There is no standard treatment for everybody. This is individual. Some people want it so badly, they're willing to pay any price. For some people it's a passing interest, so they will drop it and they will go on. There's nothing wrong with both. Both are fine.
Transcript: We see quite a generation gap between our generation and our parents' generation. And it sometimes so...
show more...
... happens that we.. Not me. No gap between you and me. I'm much younger than you. It sometimes so happens that we want something out of our life and they don't necessarily agree with it. And we end up in a conflict. And we sometimes even curb our desires just to see them happy. So how do we deal with that conflict? See. Please sit down. This is not a problem with your generation. This is a problem, unfortunately, with every generation. I think it's very silly that every generation has the same problem. If we're in a learning mode, at least we must have a new problem. Isn't it? Every generation has the same problem. Though they were also youth, just 25-30 years ago, somehow they suddenly act like they landed just like as they are today. So, because your parents are not here I can't talk to them. So we'll talk to you. If you want to craft your life the way you want, and what you want if it's not in concurrence with your parents, or the society in which you live in, or university in which you're studying. It can happen. What you choose may not be in line, not only with your parents' choices, may not be in line with your peers' choices. May not be in line with the instituion's choices. May not be in line with the society in which you live. So if you want to do your own thing, you must understand there will be a price to pay. Only thing you're complaining about is, how to have what I want without paying a price? There's no such life. If you want to do what you want, and if what you want is not in line with the larger interest of what is around you, then they will make you pay a price. If what you want means so much to you, you must pay the price. But if you find the price is too much for what little you want to do, you will step back naturally. It's like going to the market, you know. You went and want to buy a few flowers. That guy says 2000 bucks. For flowers, you say no. I want flowers, but no, because he's asking too big a price. This is so with every step in our life. When we want to do something, there will be a price attached to it. We must evaluate, do I want to pay this price? What I want, does it mean so much to me that I'm willing to pay this price? Or I'm not willing to pay this price. This is individual. There is no standard treatment for everybody. This is individual. Some people want it so badly, they're willing to pay any price. For some people it's a passing interest, so they will drop it and they will go on. There's nothing wrong with both. Both are fine.
August 1, 2020
3:33
Why are some relationships painful?
Transcript: The needs within a human being have risen. Because of a certain sense of incompleteness. People are forming relationships to experience a certain sense of completeness within themselves. When you have a good relationship with someone dear to you, you feel complete. When you don't have that, you feel incomplete. Why is this so? Because this life, this piece of life is a complete entity by itself. Why...
show more...
... is it feeling incomplete? And why is it trying to fulfil itself by making a partnership with another piece of life? Fundamental reason is that we have not explored this life in its full depth and dimension. Though that is the basis, there is a complex process of relationships as such. There are expectations. And expectations, and expectations, and expectations. The expectations that most people are creating are such, that there is no human being on the planet who could ever fulfil those expectations. In the process of holding a relationship, the first moment of meeting, the expectations may be common. But as, every step that we take in life, the expectations may become different. Because these expectations keep changing in people, they're not consistent and they cannot be. One person may be consistent with the same expectation throughout their life. Another person's expectations may be changing because his perception and experience of life is changing. Now, relationships become great conflicts. More conflict is happening within the four walls of the homes, than is happening anywhere on the planet. Only thing is, bombs are not exploding so you don't hear it. They may be giving each other silent treatment. It is happening because people's expectations are changing and they're not changing at the same pace. Fundamentally, why have we sought a relationship? Because you find yourself, that without a relationship, if you do not have any kind of relationship in your life, then you become depressed. So, fundamentally you're seeking a relationship because you want to be happy. You want to be joyful. Or, in other words, you're trying to use the other as a source of your happiness. If you're happy by your own nature, now relationships will become a means for you to express your happiness, not to seek happiness. If you're forming relationships to seek happiness, and trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody, and that person is trying to squeeze happiness out of you. Now this is going to be a painful relationship after some time.
Transcript: The needs within a human being have risen. Because of a certain sense of incompleteness. People are forming...
show more...
... relationships to experience a certain sense of completeness within themselves. When you have a good relationship with someone dear to you, you feel complete. When you don't have that, you feel incomplete. Why is this so? Because this life, this piece of life is a complete entity by itself. Why is it feeling incomplete? And why is it trying to fulfil itself by making a partnership with another piece of life? Fundamental reason is that we have not explored this life in its full depth and dimension. Though that is the basis, there is a complex process of relationships as such. There are expectations. And expectations, and expectations, and expectations. The expectations that most people are creating are such, that there is no human being on the planet who could ever fulfil those expectations. In the process of holding a relationship, the first moment of meeting, the expectations may be common. But as, every step that we take in life, the expectations may become different. Because these expectations keep changing in people, they're not consistent and they cannot be. One person may be consistent with the same expectation throughout their life. Another person's expectations may be changing because his perception and experience of life is changing. Now, relationships become great conflicts. More conflict is happening within the four walls of the homes, than is happening anywhere on the planet. Only thing is, bombs are not exploding so you don't hear it. They may be giving each other silent treatment. It is happening because people's expectations are changing and they're not changing at the same pace. Fundamentally, why have we sought a relationship? Because you find yourself, that without a relationship, if you do not have any kind of relationship in your life, then you become depressed. So, fundamentally you're seeking a relationship because you want to be happy. You want to be joyful. Or, in other words, you're trying to use the other as a source of your happiness. If you're happy by your own nature, now relationships will become a means for you to express your happiness, not to seek happiness. If you're forming relationships to seek happiness, and trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody, and that person is trying to squeeze happiness out of you. Now this is going to be a painful relationship after some time.
July 30, 2020
3:57
I love you is not a cure for fixing your relationship
Transcript: There are two ways to enter into a relationship. One way is, because you want to extract something from somebody. Another way is, because you want to share something with somebody. These are two ways. If you're out to share, your life will be good. If you're out to extract, when they close the tap, it's going to get terrible and nasty. You have seen people who thought they're absolute lovers, how terrible...
show more...
... it becomes for many of them. Not because there's anything wrong with them, simply because you started off on the wrong footing. Thinking, this person is the source of my joy. No, no, no. Joy or misery, the source is within you. Yes or no? Whether it's joy or misery, the source is within you. It's for you to decide. If you're a joyful human being, they will also want to be with you. If you're a misery, they will endure you for some time. Shall I tell you a joke? Are you okay? Please Sadhguru. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai. What happened? Was walking in a park in the evening. Sunset time. He saw a young, pretty looking woman sitting on a stone bench. You know the park benches? He also went and sat down, settled down on the same bench. After some time, he moved little close. She moved little away. He allowed a few minutes, and again moved a little closer. She moved little away. Again, he moved closer. Now there was nowhere else to go for her because she was at the end of the bench. She pushed him away. Then he waited for two minutes, just the sun to get to the right angle. Then he went down on his knees and he said, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." You know a woman is a fool for love. And the sun was setting. If it was middle of the afternoon, she won't believe a damn thing. Sun was setting, the ambience was right, and she kind of feeled it. Nature took over, things happened between them. Then he looked at his watch, it was 8 O'clock in the evening. He got up and he said, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "Where are you going? You said you love me." He said, "My wife is waiting, I need to go." So 'I love you', for a whole lot of people, is like that, you know, open sesame. You want to get something. Maybe your needs are physical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or we don't know what else. You have needs to fulfil. So you use this mantra and it works. Half the time it works. I'm saying, it's important, it is important, you know the joy of being loving. Because sweetness of emotion is needed for you. If you want to take really big steps in your life. If you do not have sweetness of love in your heart, believe me, if you try to take big steps in the world, particularly in India, you will end up frustrated and go to Canada.
Transcript: There are two ways to enter into a relationship. One way is, because you want to extract something from...
show more...
... somebody. Another way is, because you want to share something with somebody. These are two ways. If you're out to share, your life will be good. If you're out to extract, when they close the tap, it's going to get terrible and nasty. You have seen people who thought they're absolute lovers, how terrible it becomes for many of them. Not because there's anything wrong with them, simply because you started off on the wrong footing. Thinking, this person is the source of my joy. No, no, no. Joy or misery, the source is within you. Yes or no? Whether it's joy or misery, the source is within you. It's for you to decide. If you're a joyful human being, they will also want to be with you. If you're a misery, they will endure you for some time. Shall I tell you a joke? Are you okay? Please Sadhguru. On a certain day, Shankaran Pillai. What happened? Was walking in a park in the evening. Sunset time. He saw a young, pretty looking woman sitting on a stone bench. You know the park benches? He also went and sat down, settled down on the same bench. After some time, he moved little close. She moved little away. He allowed a few minutes, and again moved a little closer. She moved little away. Again, he moved closer. Now there was nowhere else to go for her because she was at the end of the bench. She pushed him away. Then he waited for two minutes, just the sun to get to the right angle. Then he went down on his knees and he said, "I love you, I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life." You know a woman is a fool for love. And the sun was setting. If it was middle of the afternoon, she won't believe a damn thing. Sun was setting, the ambience was right, and she kind of feeled it. Nature took over, things happened between them. Then he looked at his watch, it was 8 O'clock in the evening. He got up and he said, "I need to go, I need to go." She said, "Where are you going? You said you love me." He said, "My wife is waiting, I need to go." So 'I love you', for a whole lot of people, is like that, you know, open sesame. You want to get something. Maybe your needs are physical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or we don't know what else. You have needs to fulfil. So you use this mantra and it works. Half the time it works. I'm saying, it's important, it is important, you know the joy of being loving. Because sweetness of emotion is needed for you. If you want to take really big steps in your life. If you do not have sweetness of love in your heart, believe me, if you try to take big steps in the world, particularly in India, you will end up frustrated and go to Canada.
July 18, 2020
3:50
How to find true love? Is this the right person for me?
Transcript: So who is the right person? I don't want to take away all the romance in your life. But, let me tell you this, there is no right person on this planet. If you get into that kind of unrealistic mindset, I have found the right person. Oh, you will be soon disappointed. You must understand, there is no right person. First thing is to see whether, I am the right person. Yes? Am I the right person? And...
show more...
... there are no right people on this planet. If you understand, you have your nonsense, they have their nonsense. We can adjust nonsense nonsense. Go on. First and foremost thing is you bring yourself to a place where your experience of life is just pleasant by yourself. You're wonderful. Now, let us see what gets drawn to this one. If you're really wonderful, things will happen in every way, I'm saying. And this whole thing is an American thing, that there is a soulmate somewhere. God made just one more person just for you. But these days every two years he keeps making one more person just for you. Obviously, God is making too many mistakes with you. It once happened, Shankaran Pillai was at the family dinner. And when everybody settled down for dinner, he stood up at the table and announced, "I am going to marry Lucy, who is just across the street." I hope that's not the name. Then the father said, "What? You want to marry Lucy? She has nothing. She's like a tramp. You're going to marry that Lucy." Mother said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy?" The uncle, uncle is always pitching in in these kind of matters. The uncle said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy? Have you seen her hair? It looks fake." The aunt, "Whatt? You're going to marry Lucy? She's always painted. You're going to marry that painted woman?" The little boy, the nephew can't be left out. He says, "You're going to marry Lucy. She doesn't even know what is cricket! How can you marry her?" Shankaran Pillai stood his ground and said, "Yes, I'm going to marry Lucy." Everybody asked in one voice, "Why?" He said, "Because she has no family." There are no many opinions to battle with.
Transcript: So who is the right person? I don't want to take away all the romance in your life. But, let me tell...
show more...
... you this, there is no right person on this planet. If you get into that kind of unrealistic mindset, I have found the right person. Oh, you will be soon disappointed. You must understand, there is no right person. First thing is to see whether, I am the right person. Yes? Am I the right person? And there are no right people on this planet. If you understand, you have your nonsense, they have their nonsense. We can adjust nonsense nonsense. Go on. First and foremost thing is you bring yourself to a place where your experience of life is just pleasant by yourself. You're wonderful. Now, let us see what gets drawn to this one. If you're really wonderful, things will happen in every way, I'm saying. And this whole thing is an American thing, that there is a soulmate somewhere. God made just one more person just for you. But these days every two years he keeps making one more person just for you. Obviously, God is making too many mistakes with you. It once happened, Shankaran Pillai was at the family dinner. And when everybody settled down for dinner, he stood up at the table and announced, "I am going to marry Lucy, who is just across the street." I hope that's not the name. Then the father said, "What? You want to marry Lucy? She has nothing. She's like a tramp. You're going to marry that Lucy." Mother said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy?" The uncle, uncle is always pitching in in these kind of matters. The uncle said, "What? You're going to marry that Lucy? Have you seen her hair? It looks fake." The aunt, "Whatt? You're going to marry Lucy? She's always painted. You're going to marry that painted woman?" The little boy, the nephew can't be left out. He says, "You're going to marry Lucy. She doesn't even know what is cricket! How can you marry her?" Shankaran Pillai stood his ground and said, "Yes, I'm going to marry Lucy." Everybody asked in one voice, "Why?" He said, "Because she has no family." There are no many opinions to battle with.
July 15, 2020
3:21
My partner is never happy with me – no matter what I do
Transcript: Nowhere in the history of humanity, or today, or in anytime in future, will human relationships be absolute. Though every, every person who gets little romantic, believes that this is going to be an absolute relationship. There is no such thing about it. A relationship is a variable, always. You have to conduct it on a daily basis. One day if you don't conduct it properly, it may go somewhere. Yes...
show more...
... or no? No, please look at it as it is. You have to conduct it right. So, no I'm doing my best. Obviously somebody feels your best is not good enough for them. No, I want you to come to terms with this. This is not about, I'm not saying what they're doing is right or wrong. That's not for me to say. All I'm saying is, this is how human beings have been functioning for ages, and still are. I'm saying, first of all, you need to understand, relationships will never ever be absolute. They will be variables that you, it's juggling that you have to do. If you're juggling with fireballs, one sometimes, it'll spill out. Takes lot of skill and attention. Yes or no? You're married, many of you. Doesn't it take lot of skill and attention? Yes. If you don't pay any attention, you don't know what the hell is happening. It takes a lot of attention, isn't it? So I'm saying, you need to understand this. A relationship is a variable reality. It is not an absolute reality. If you want to have an absolute relationship, you must hold relationships with the dead. It's time you look deeper, rather than reacting and trying to fix somebody else. Punishing somebody else is not going to transform your life, not going to make your life beautiful in any way. Some sick satisfaction you'll have for two days, after that you'll feel guilty about that also. So don't go that way. This is an opportunity. Somebody is opening up a spiritual dimension for you.
Transcript: Nowhere in the history of humanity, or today, or in anytime in future, will human relationships be absolute....
show more...
... Though every, every person who gets little romantic, believes that this is going to be an absolute relationship. There is no such thing about it. A relationship is a variable, always. You have to conduct it on a daily basis. One day if you don't conduct it properly, it may go somewhere. Yes or no? No, please look at it as it is. You have to conduct it right. So, no I'm doing my best. Obviously somebody feels your best is not good enough for them. No, I want you to come to terms with this. This is not about, I'm not saying what they're doing is right or wrong. That's not for me to say. All I'm saying is, this is how human beings have been functioning for ages, and still are. I'm saying, first of all, you need to understand, relationships will never ever be absolute. They will be variables that you, it's juggling that you have to do. If you're juggling with fireballs, one sometimes, it'll spill out. Takes lot of skill and attention. Yes or no? You're married, many of you. Doesn't it take lot of skill and attention? Yes. If you don't pay any attention, you don't know what the hell is happening. It takes a lot of attention, isn't it? So I'm saying, you need to understand this. A relationship is a variable reality. It is not an absolute reality. If you want to have an absolute relationship, you must hold relationships with the dead. It's time you look deeper, rather than reacting and trying to fix somebody else. Punishing somebody else is not going to transform your life, not going to make your life beautiful in any way. Some sick satisfaction you'll have for two days, after that you'll feel guilty about that also. So don't go that way. This is an opportunity. Somebody is opening up a spiritual dimension for you.
July 14, 2020
2:49
Do we need to match horoscopes?
Transcript: Hello, this is Sumona Chakravarti. Namaskaram Sadhguru. Sadhguru, I want to know the truth about astrology. I mean I know it is a science, but you know when one has to match horoscopes before a wedding. Or a Manglik girl who is supposed to wed a tree first, you know, before she marries the guy. Or the fact that, you know one has to wear particular stones to help various things in life. So what is the...
show more...
... truth about it? What is the reality of it all? I mean, because it is very confusing to our generation to understand because either we rebel, or you know, succumb to parental pressure. So if you could help us understand the truth about it, it would be wonderful. Thank you so much. Pranam. Namaskaram Sumona. Well, I like this idea of marrying a tree. I'm married to trees, you know. I think it's a good idea. Very stable partner, rooted. In today's life, getting somebody so rooted is a rare thing. It's a really great idea. See, horoscopes are being matched. What it means is stars are being matched. But how do you match these two idiots, it's impossible. Nobody can match these two idiots. Only if they take responsibility for each other, if they show some sense of involvement and invest their lives in each other then something wonderful may happen. If you match them, doesn't matter how you match them, nothing is going to work out. This is why for most people, all love affairs and marriages are beautiful only for some time. After that it's one big anxiety, or non-stop friction. Simply because people are trying to match each other. You cannot match people. No two human beings are same, it will not work that way. It is just that if you hold the other person's well being above your own, then you will find everything works out. If your life is about extracting happiness from somebody else, you will see it will become bitter over a period of time. If your life is about sharing the joy that you are, then everything will work out. It doesn't matter what the stars say. Anyway, stars can speak what they want. Once you come here as a human being, you are supposed to create this life. This is the only creature on the planet who can structure its own life. If you want to give that up and allow inanimate things like planets and stars to decide the future of who you are, it's a tragic way to exist. So please, you and whoever else is influenced by you, please tell them to take their lives into their hands. It doesn't matter. And how silly is it that a third person, that you do not know, is going to tell you whether you will live happily or not with your husband or your wife. How vulgar is that. Take up this responsibility in your hand. It doesn't matter what kind of fool you marry, you take up the responsibility that you will live well. And that's the only way you will live well.
Transcript: Hello, this is Sumona Chakravarti. Namaskaram Sadhguru. Sadhguru, I want to know the truth about astrology....
show more...
... I mean I know it is a science, but you know when one has to match horoscopes before a wedding. Or a Manglik girl who is supposed to wed a tree first, you know, before she marries the guy. Or the fact that, you know one has to wear particular stones to help various things in life. So what is the truth about it? What is the reality of it all? I mean, because it is very confusing to our generation to understand because either we rebel, or you know, succumb to parental pressure. So if you could help us understand the truth about it, it would be wonderful. Thank you so much. Pranam. Namaskaram Sumona. Well, I like this idea of marrying a tree. I'm married to trees, you know. I think it's a good idea. Very stable partner, rooted. In today's life, getting somebody so rooted is a rare thing. It's a really great idea. See, horoscopes are being matched. What it means is stars are being matched. But how do you match these two idiots, it's impossible. Nobody can match these two idiots. Only if they take responsibility for each other, if they show some sense of involvement and invest their lives in each other then something wonderful may happen. If you match them, doesn't matter how you match them, nothing is going to work out. This is why for most people, all love affairs and marriages are beautiful only for some time. After that it's one big anxiety, or non-stop friction. Simply because people are trying to match each other. You cannot match people. No two human beings are same, it will not work that way. It is just that if you hold the other person's well being above your own, then you will find everything works out. If your life is about extracting happiness from somebody else, you will see it will become bitter over a period of time. If your life is about sharing the joy that you are, then everything will work out. It doesn't matter what the stars say. Anyway, stars can speak what they want. Once you come here as a human being, you are supposed to create this life. This is the only creature on the planet who can structure its own life. If you want to give that up and allow inanimate things like planets and stars to decide the future of who you are, it's a tragic way to exist. So please, you and whoever else is influenced by you, please tell them to take their lives into their hands. It doesn't matter. And how silly is it that a third person, that you do not know, is going to tell you whether you will live happily or not with your husband or your wife. How vulgar is that. Take up this responsibility in your hand. It doesn't matter what kind of fool you marry, you take up the responsibility that you will live well. And that's the only way you will live well.
July 12, 2020
3:57
How to make couple relationships work – Why do they fail?
Transcript: Unfortunately today we have imbibed this, from the West again, that if you utter the word relationship, people are generally thinking of body-based relationships. Or in some way, it has to be between a man and a woman, or whatever else. But essetially, body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they're body-based relationships, usually the excitement about each other's body...
show more...
... will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate, is not ultimate after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of it. Then, when the main draw which brought people together is kind of melting away, without knowing why they start being unpleasant to each other. Because essentially such a relationship is towards extracting sweetness from another person. Extracting happiness from another person. So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody, after some time you find when it doesn't yield the same result as it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important when you're young, certain things may happen as you start growing older. When I say older, from yesterday to today, you're older. So today you must be thinking in terms of, that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships. Any kind of relationship that you hold, if relationship is based on your expression of joy, not on extraction of joy. For this, you must become joyful by your own nature first of all. If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant overflow of joy, if it so and your relationship is only about sharing this, then you don't have to worry about the normal circus that people go through in terms of relationships. Managing relationships means, in day to day life a relationship may not stay just in one area of life. Once people are together, they will have to share many things. Naturally, you will start stepping on each other's toes for many many small things that happen. Because of this there will be many interactions or you can even call them altercations. They will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis. People think they can manage, after some time you will see you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in such a way that you're a natural exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen. And relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get you're not getting. If you eliminate this need within you. That you are a natural overflow of joy. If this one thing you do, you can have fabulous relationships with every kind of people, irespective of who they are. They don't have to be your kind. With all sorts of people you can hold wonderful relationships.
Transcript: Unfortunately today we have imbibed this, from the West again, that if you utter the word relationship,...
show more...
... people are generally thinking of body-based relationships. Or in some way, it has to be between a man and a woman, or whatever else. But essetially, body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they're body-based relationships, usually the excitement about each other's body will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate, is not ultimate after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of it. Then, when the main draw which brought people together is kind of melting away, without knowing why they start being unpleasant to each other. Because essentially such a relationship is towards extracting sweetness from another person. Extracting happiness from another person. So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody, after some time you find when it doesn't yield the same result as it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important when you're young, certain things may happen as you start growing older. When I say older, from yesterday to today, you're older. So today you must be thinking in terms of, that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships. Any kind of relationship that you hold, if relationship is based on your expression of joy, not on extraction of joy. For this, you must become joyful by your own nature first of all. If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant overflow of joy, if it so and your relationship is only about sharing this, then you don't have to worry about the normal circus that people go through in terms of relationships. Managing relationships means, in day to day life a relationship may not stay just in one area of life. Once people are together, they will have to share many things. Naturally, you will start stepping on each other's toes for many many small things that happen. Because of this there will be many interactions or you can even call them altercations. They will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis. People think they can manage, after some time you will see you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in such a way that you're a natural exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen. And relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get you're not getting. If you eliminate this need within you. That you are a natural overflow of joy. If this one thing you do, you can have fabulous relationships with every kind of people, irespective of who they are. They don't have to be your kind. With all sorts of people you can hold wonderful relationships.
July 8, 2020
3:57
Multiple heartbreaks will make you distrust people
Transcript: This serial heartbreak business can leave you paranoid about anything. About bonding with anybody in your life. Yes or no? You had serial heartbreaks. It looked like fun for some time, after some time you just don't actually trust anybody in your life. Because another human being is a problem always. Only when our emotions allow you to cross the problem, in some way they get included. But, if we have...
show more...
... serial heartbreaks, we will never allow our emotion to cross those barriers, we will always be cautious because anyway this has come with an expiry date. When people come with an expiry date, yes there is an expiry date for all of us. But relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life. So that two people, that means, two brains and two bodies can do better than one in many ways. In various aspects of life, in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship, in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives. In every way, two people can do better than one person, that is the idea. And, of course, nature is pushing us together because nature doesn't care about your love affair, it just wants you to reproduce. You're 10, 12 it's okay. You became 13, and you look like this. Suddenly this is a world by itself. The neighbourhood scrawny girl who didn't mean a damn thing to you, suddenly she is the focus, she's the apple of your eye. Yes? So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones. So it is making funny things happen. It is making you believe all kinds of things. When you look back and see, you'll feel stupid, but it's okay. There's nothing wrong about it. But it's very important that we understand what's happening to us. Otherwise we'll do idiotic things that we may regret later, you know. It is not a question of morality, it is a question of handling our lives sensibly. So reproduction is not the purpose right now, we have kept it aside. But nature's push is towards that. But we have emotional needs, physical needs, psychological needs, maybe financial and social needs. Variety of needs. To conduct these needs in a dignified way. To conduct these needs in a, see once you come as a human being, you can't do things, though they are the same things what the animals do. But we would like to do it more gracefully, consciously. Whether we eat, or we copulate, or we sleep. We like to do it little more aesthetically right. That's the important thing. For that, we need the cooperation of another person, who is also somehow congruent to us. Every two days if you have heartbreaks and going on, well, you must see the trouble of that.
Transcript: This serial heartbreak business can leave you paranoid about anything. About bonding with anybody in...
show more...
... your life. Yes or no? You had serial heartbreaks. It looked like fun for some time, after some time you just don't actually trust anybody in your life. Because another human being is a problem always. Only when our emotions allow you to cross the problem, in some way they get included. But, if we have serial heartbreaks, we will never allow our emotion to cross those barriers, we will always be cautious because anyway this has come with an expiry date. When people come with an expiry date, yes there is an expiry date for all of us. But relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life. So that two people, that means, two brains and two bodies can do better than one in many ways. In various aspects of life, in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship, in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives. In every way, two people can do better than one person, that is the idea. And, of course, nature is pushing us together because nature doesn't care about your love affair, it just wants you to reproduce. You're 10, 12 it's okay. You became 13, and you look like this. Suddenly this is a world by itself. The neighbourhood scrawny girl who didn't mean a damn thing to you, suddenly she is the focus, she's the apple of your eye. Yes? So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones. So it is making funny things happen. It is making you believe all kinds of things. When you look back and see, you'll feel stupid, but it's okay. There's nothing wrong about it. But it's very important that we understand what's happening to us. Otherwise we'll do idiotic things that we may regret later, you know. It is not a question of morality, it is a question of handling our lives sensibly. So reproduction is not the purpose right now, we have kept it aside. But nature's push is towards that. But we have emotional needs, physical needs, psychological needs, maybe financial and social needs. Variety of needs. To conduct these needs in a dignified way. To conduct these needs in a, see once you come as a human being, you can't do things, though they are the same things what the animals do. But we would like to do it more gracefully, consciously. Whether we eat, or we copulate, or we sleep. We like to do it little more aesthetically right. That's the important thing. For that, we need the cooperation of another person, who is also somehow congruent to us. Every two days if you have heartbreaks and going on, well, you must see the trouble of that.
July 7, 2020
3:42
How to find real love?
Transcript: We have one question from the social media, the Facebook. Amit Madhan wants to know, in this materialistic age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others? Forget about others. If you, if you learn to be loving by your own nature, not...
show more...
... because of somebody else or something else. I know the question is coming from Facebook, there's enomous possibility. You can even love those people who don't even exist. So I'm saying there's a tremendous possibility. So, if you just become love, not love somebody then you will know the nature of love. If you love somebody, it's a fickle happening because no human being will happen 100% the way you want them. Every human being on this planet is going to disappoint you, believe me. Not because they'll do something wrong, because nobody can fulfil the unrealistic expectation you have of them. It's simply not possible. Have you been able to fulfil anybody's expectation? I'm asking you, entirely? Partially. But never entirely, isn't it? So nobody else will be able to do it. Unless you're still such a hopeless romantic, you're still waiting. That ideal person is going to come from somewhere. No. Believe me, whoever comes. I want you to know, the ideal people, whom you worship. When Krishna was there, his wives complained. Alright? So there is no hope for us. Yes, please remember this.
Transcript: We have one question from the social media, the Facebook. Amit Madhan wants to know, in this materialistic...
show more...
... age, the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life. Most of the love we receive from others and express to others, is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others? Forget about others. If you, if you learn to be loving by your own nature, not because of somebody else or something else. I know the question is coming from Facebook, there's enomous possibility. You can even love those people who don't even exist. So I'm saying there's a tremendous possibility. So, if you just become love, not love somebody then you will know the nature of love. If you love somebody, it's a fickle happening because no human being will happen 100% the way you want them. Every human being on this planet is going to disappoint you, believe me. Not because they'll do something wrong, because nobody can fulfil the unrealistic expectation you have of them. It's simply not possible. Have you been able to fulfil anybody's expectation? I'm asking you, entirely? Partially. But never entirely, isn't it? So nobody else will be able to do it. Unless you're still such a hopeless romantic, you're still waiting. That ideal person is going to come from somewhere. No. Believe me, whoever comes. I want you to know, the ideal people, whom you worship. When Krishna was there, his wives complained. Alright? So there is no hope for us. Yes, please remember this.
July 4, 2020
2:17
How can a modern woman become an ideal wife?
Transcript: So, your mother, your grandmother, how they made good wives. Largely it was believed the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Now today your husband will call Uber Eats and whatever quick picks and this and that and Swiggy and whatever. Alright? So you can't make a good wife based on how your grandmother became a good wife. You can't become a good wife based on how your mother became a good...
show more...
... wife. Situations have changed, expectations have changed. It's not in the stomach anymore. For some it's gone up into the head, for some it's gone further south. Yes? And, according to contemporary needs, not how your grandmother did her marriage. You can't do it that way because expectations and situations have completely altered themselves. So if you hold somebody who is your friend, and who is your need. You must understand. You're in this relationship because you need. Maybe the other person also needs, but that's from their side. As far as you are concerned, you made this relationship because you need it badly. Isn't it? If you understand, and you're always grateful for this, that somebody is fulfilling all your need, you would handle it well. You wouldn't make a misery out of it. But now you think somebody else needs you, then you'll make a mess out of it. So, you don't do that. Essentially, what husband and wife means is, because you are not geared. Most people are not geared. Very few people in this world are geared to make this journey of life all by themselves. They're organized enough within themselves, totally. They never feel anything missing in their life because they have made themselves like that. But, most people need somebody else to lean on. Either emotionally, psychologically. There are needs in a human being. Physical needs, psychological needs, emotional needs. Maybe, social needs, economic needs, variety of needs. To fulfil these needs, you want to find one person that you can depend on. Because it's very difficult, you want to find one person with whom you can share everything that you have. Your body, mind, emotion, and it works. So this is the idea. Finalizing it so that everytime you get little, some little friction, you don't fall apart. So little tying up, so that things don't fall apart very easily, alright? Nothing else. The biggest mistake humanity made was, they started saying marriages are made in heaven. That's why it's such a mess. Much done here. If you see, marriages are made between us. And we took responsibility for who we are, or we could've made it work. The damn thing is made in heaven. Not suitable here because it's alien stuff. Everything is a mess because you think it's made elsewhere, by somebody else. If you understand it's made by you for your well being, to fulfil your needs and your purposes so that you can go through this journey of life with least amount of trouble and friction, then you would handle it more responsibly. Isn't it?
Transcript: So, your mother, your grandmother, how they made good wives. Largely it was believed the way to a man's...
show more...
... heart is through his stomach. Now today your husband will call Uber Eats and whatever quick picks and this and that and Swiggy and whatever. Alright? So you can't make a good wife based on how your grandmother became a good wife. You can't become a good wife based on how your mother became a good wife. Situations have changed, expectations have changed. It's not in the stomach anymore. For some it's gone up into the head, for some it's gone further south. Yes? And, according to contemporary needs, not how your grandmother did her marriage. You can't do it that way because expectations and situations have completely altered themselves. So if you hold somebody who is your friend, and who is your need. You must understand. You're in this relationship because you need. Maybe the other person also needs, but that's from their side. As far as you are concerned, you made this relationship because you need it badly. Isn't it? If you understand, and you're always grateful for this, that somebody is fulfilling all your need, you would handle it well. You wouldn't make a misery out of it. But now you think somebody else needs you, then you'll make a mess out of it. So, you don't do that. Essentially, what husband and wife means is, because you are not geared. Most people are not geared. Very few people in this world are geared to make this journey of life all by themselves. They're organized enough within themselves, totally. They never feel anything missing in their life because they have made themselves like that. But, most people need somebody else to lean on. Either emotionally, psychologically. There are needs in a human being. Physical needs, psychological needs, emotional needs. Maybe, social needs, economic needs, variety of needs. To fulfil these needs, you want to find one person that you can depend on. Because it's very difficult, you want to find one person with whom you can share everything that you have. Your body, mind, emotion, and it works. So this is the idea. Finalizing it so that everytime you get little, some little friction, you don't fall apart. So little tying up, so that things don't fall apart very easily, alright? Nothing else. The biggest mistake humanity made was, they started saying marriages are made in heaven. That's why it's such a mess. Much done here. If you see, marriages are made between us. And we took responsibility for who we are, or we could've made it work. The damn thing is made in heaven. Not suitable here because it's alien stuff. Everything is a mess because you think it's made elsewhere, by somebody else. If you understand it's made by you for your well being, to fulfil your needs and your purposes so that you can go through this journey of life with least amount of trouble and friction, then you would handle it more responsibly. Isn't it?
July 1, 2020
4:06
Why do loving relationships turn bitter?
Transcript: There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home. And for it to be well coordinated, certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is with an enormous level of connectedness. Not emotional. Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed, it is the juice of life. You don't make your emotions work, you should not make them work. You can make...
show more...
... your thought work, you can make your body work. Don't try to make your emotions work. Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, isn't it? Yes or no? Initially 'I love you' works. After some time, you're trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets. Because emotion is not for work, emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work, emotions just there. The flowers need not work, they're just there. That's all. Emotion is like that, it's just there. Pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly. The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opiniated. It will not work like that. Fundamental mechanics are wrong, so how will it work?
Transcript: There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home. And for it to be well coordinated,...
show more...
... certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is with an enormous level of connectedness. Not emotional. Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed, it is the juice of life. You don't make your emotions work, you should not make them work. You can make your thought work, you can make your body work. Don't try to make your emotions work. Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, isn't it? Yes or no? Initially 'I love you' works. After some time, you're trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets. Because emotion is not for work, emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work, emotions just there. The flowers need not work, they're just there. That's all. Emotion is like that, it's just there. Pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly. The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opiniated. It will not work like that. Fundamental mechanics are wrong, so how will it work?
June 29, 2020
2:19
Are you a true friend?
Transcript: If you are a friend to somebody, you don’t have to nag them with what’s wrong with them. That’s not the point. But at the same time, you must have the courage to be unpopular with people. In just trying to be popular with people, just see how many stupid things you are doing with your life. In just trying to maintain some kind of pleasantness around you, see how much unpleasantness you have buried...
show more...
... within you. If you bury unpleasantness, if you put seeds of unpleasantness into the soil you’ll reap fruits of unpleasantness, isn’t it? The more and more unpleasantness you bury within yourself, you’ll reap a fruit like that. You must have the courage; if you really have a friend, you must have the courage to be unpopular with your friends and still be loving and okay with it. Right now, your friendships are always made on agreements, likes and dislikes. No, you are apples and oranges and still you can be good friends. A true friend is somebody who has the courage to tell you what shit you are, and still be loving and nice to you. Yes?
Transcript: If you are a friend to somebody, you don’t have to nag them with what’s wrong with them. That’s...
show more...
... not the point. But at the same time, you must have the courage to be unpopular with people. In just trying to be popular with people, just see how many stupid things you are doing with your life. In just trying to maintain some kind of pleasantness around you, see how much unpleasantness you have buried within you. If you bury unpleasantness, if you put seeds of unpleasantness into the soil you’ll reap fruits of unpleasantness, isn’t it? The more and more unpleasantness you bury within yourself, you’ll reap a fruit like that. You must have the courage; if you really have a friend, you must have the courage to be unpopular with your friends and still be loving and okay with it. Right now, your friendships are always made on agreements, likes and dislikes. No, you are apples and oranges and still you can be good friends. A true friend is somebody who has the courage to tell you what shit you are, and still be loving and nice to you. Yes?
June 25, 2020
1:47
How important is marriage? Are you confused about marriage?
Transcript: See you need to understand the institution of marriage. It's about bringinga certain sanctity to the simple, basic needs that every human being has. There are physical needs, there are psychological needs, there are economic needs, emotional needs, social needs, variety of needs. To fulfill all these things we set an institution called marriage where all this can be conducted in a sensible manner....
show more...
... Otherwise, if we did it on the streets like every other creature, it would turn ugly for us and we would feel not good about it. So to bring some sense of organisation, some aesthetic, some stability because man and woman coming together naturally brought fresh life. It is, compared to any other creature, it is the most helpess life which needs maximum amount of support. You could leave a puppy on the street. As he long as he gets food, he grows up into a good dog, no problem. But not so with the human being. He doesn't need just physical support, he needs variety of support and above all, a stable situation. Whether there should be marriage in society or not one will debate when they are 18 because physical body is asking for freedom. Alright. At that time everybody questions, is marriage really needed? Why can't we just live whichever way we want? But when you are 3 years of age, you valued marriage immensely, a stable marriage immensely, isn't it so? Yes or no? Again when you become 45-50, you are 100% for marriage. Between 18 and 35 you are questioning the whole process. Because, where the physical body is dominant, at that time, if you give in to that then it will question every institution. This is hormone fired freedom, okay? Your intelligence has been hijacked by hormones. So, you question the fundamentals of everything. I'm not saying marriage is the thing. But do you have a better alternative? If you have a better alternative, damn the marriage. But you have not come up with a better alternative because a stable situation is a must for a child. Once you have a child, it's a 20 year project. Your whims and fancies will change, your emotions will change. If that is what it is, don't get into such situations. It's not compulsory for everybody to get married. It's good, you are saying people are thinking whether to get married or not, I'm glad. It is not necessary for everybody. But if you get into it, especially if you get into children you must understand, it's a minimum 20 year project whether you like it or you don't like it. Otherwise you shouldn't get into those projects. You don't walk into a project, drop it half way and walk away, isn't it? It's your choice, but at least choose consciously. You don't have to get married because everybody is getting married. You don't have to talk about marriage or divorce in the same breath. As if they come together. Why should you ever talk about marriage and divorce in one breath? It's a crime.
Transcript: See you need to understand the institution of marriage. It's about bringinga certain sanctity to the...
show more...
... simple, basic needs that every human being has. There are physical needs, there are psychological needs, there are economic needs, emotional needs, social needs, variety of needs. To fulfill all these things we set an institution called marriage where all this can be conducted in a sensible manner. Otherwise, if we did it on the streets like every other creature, it would turn ugly for us and we would feel not good about it. So to bring some sense of organisation, some aesthetic, some stability because man and woman coming together naturally brought fresh life. It is, compared to any other creature, it is the most helpess life which needs maximum amount of support. You could leave a puppy on the street. As he long as he gets food, he grows up into a good dog, no problem. But not so with the human being. He doesn't need just physical support, he needs variety of support and above all, a stable situation. Whether there should be marriage in society or not one will debate when they are 18 because physical body is asking for freedom. Alright. At that time everybody questions, is marriage really needed? Why can't we just live whichever way we want? But when you are 3 years of age, you valued marriage immensely, a stable marriage immensely, isn't it so? Yes or no? Again when you become 45-50, you are 100% for marriage. Between 18 and 35 you are questioning the whole process. Because, where the physical body is dominant, at that time, if you give in to that then it will question every institution. This is hormone fired freedom, okay? Your intelligence has been hijacked by hormones. So, you question the fundamentals of everything. I'm not saying marriage is the thing. But do you have a better alternative? If you have a better alternative, damn the marriage. But you have not come up with a better alternative because a stable situation is a must for a child. Once you have a child, it's a 20 year project. Your whims and fancies will change, your emotions will change. If that is what it is, don't get into such situations. It's not compulsory for everybody to get married. It's good, you are saying people are thinking whether to get married or not, I'm glad. It is not necessary for everybody. But if you get into it, especially if you get into children you must understand, it's a minimum 20 year project whether you like it or you don't like it. Otherwise you shouldn't get into those projects. You don't walk into a project, drop it half way and walk away, isn't it? It's your choice, but at least choose consciously. You don't have to get married because everybody is getting married. You don't have to talk about marriage or divorce in the same breath. As if they come together. Why should you ever talk about marriage and divorce in one breath? It's a crime.
June 21, 2020
3:49
In the times of Corona Virus – how to deal with lazy husband stubborn parents and bored children?
Synopsis: A lady asks Sadhguru - "Please guide the women of the country, who are dealing with lazy partners, stubborn parents and bored children on how to coexist compassionately amidst all the chaos. When household work load has increased and our work front identity has disappeared?" Sadhguru gives one simple way by which you can fix all this in one day!
Synopsis: A lady asks Sadhguru - "Please guide the women of the country, who are dealing with lazy partners, stubborn...
show more...
... parents and bored children on how to coexist compassionately amidst all the chaos. When household work load has increased and our work front identity has disappeared?" Sadhguru gives one simple way by which you can fix all this in one day!
June 16, 2020
5:25
How To Convince My Parents For An Inter-Caste Marriage?
Synopsis: Sadhguru tells us about the basis on caste system in India, and why people preferred marrying within the same caste. He also shares about how he got married, and how he announced it to everyone!
Synopsis: Sadhguru tells us about the basis on caste system in India, and why people preferred marrying within...
show more...
... the same caste. He also shares about how he got married, and how he announced it to everyone!
January 4, 2020
5:56
What is the right age to have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Synopsis: During a Youth and Truth event, a student asks Sadhguru - "What is the right age to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"Sadhguru says, today it has become like this, that when we say 'relationship', by default everyone assumes that the reference is to a body based relationship. One can have beautiful relationships without involving with your body! Sadhguru says, when you are in college, your focus should...
show more...
... be to enhance yourself to your full potential. So unless you have a huge compulsiveness for a sexual relationship, otherwise these things will become a big diversion for you.
Synopsis: During a Youth and Truth event, a student asks Sadhguru - "What is the right age to have a boyfriend...
show more...
... or a girlfriend?"Sadhguru says, today it has become like this, that when we say 'relationship', by default everyone assumes that the reference is to a body based relationship. One can have beautiful relationships without involving with your body! Sadhguru says, when you are in college, your focus should be to enhance yourself to your full potential. So unless you have a huge compulsiveness for a sexual relationship, otherwise these things will become a big diversion for you.
May 30, 2019
10:30
Why Can’t I Have Multiple Partners?
Synopsis: In our society why is it considered inappropriate to have multiple partners? What are the social and spiritual implications if one has multiple partners? Sadhguru explains that in older times more Men died than Women. So, in all societies the ratio of Male to Female was skewed, and to fulfill the basic human needs the society ended up with a Man having multiple partners. However, today, the ratio...
show more...
... is balanced and if the society allows multiple partners, it will create a lot of issues. Because for many people there basic needs will not get fulfilled, and the animal instincts will take over. Sadhguru also explains - at a more fundamental level, at our core is an energy framework or an evolutionary memory framework. So, those wanting to raise to a higher level, need to maintain the integrity of this framework. So, you don't want to open your body to anyone else, especially not to multiple partners. That's why in almost all cultures those on spiritual path would become monks.
Synopsis: In our society why is it considered inappropriate to have multiple partners? What are the social and...
show more...
... spiritual implications if one has multiple partners? Sadhguru explains that in older times more Men died than Women. So, in all societies the ratio of Male to Female was skewed, and to fulfill the basic human needs the society ended up with a Man having multiple partners. However, today, the ratio is balanced and if the society allows multiple partners, it will create a lot of issues. Because for many people there basic needs will not get fulfilled, and the animal instincts will take over. Sadhguru also explains - at a more fundamental level, at our core is an energy framework or an evolutionary memory framework. So, those wanting to raise to a higher level, need to maintain the integrity of this framework. So, you don't want to open your body to anyone else, especially not to multiple partners. That's why in almost all cultures those on spiritual path would become monks.
December 27, 2018
6:49
Is It Natural To Be Jealous?
Synopsis: If your way of being is determined by how others are - then the only way you can be is 'a mess'. If you don't take charge of yourself, very easily you can fall back in the evolutionary scheme of things. Sadhguru says - don't be in a self defeating mode. Life is about you, not about someone else. If your joy, your happiness, your misery is determined by someone else, then chances of you being joyful...
show more...
... in your life is remote.
Synopsis: If your way of being is determined by how others are - then the only way you can be is 'a mess'. If you...
show more...
... don't take charge of yourself, very easily you can fall back in the evolutionary scheme of things. Sadhguru says - don't be in a self defeating mode. Life is about you, not about someone else. If your joy, your happiness, your misery is determined by someone else, then chances of you being joyful in your life is remote.
December 17, 2018
7:06
Articles
Why divorce is so painful and how to deal with it?
In this article, Sadhguru delves deep into what causes relationships to turn sour and eventually end up in divorce. Why is it that the person you once thought as the most wonderful being worthy of spending the rest of your life together with suddenly becomes so unbearable? He explains why divorces are much more painful beyond just emotional trauma, as the body is impacted at physical level in many ways which people don't realize.
March 25, 2021
11 min read
Love – Decoded! Is Love a need? Is unconditional love possible?
This is a wonderful article in which Sadhguru explains what 'love' really is! Sadhguru says - "You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go.", you can only fall in love, not rise in love. Through three engaging stories Sadhguru tells us what us unconditional love, and is it possible; is there any relation between gratitude and love; is love a human need. Finally, Sadhguru tells us that 'love' is a very fragile dimension of life, and needs to be handled gently.
November 20, 2020
13 min read
How to Deal with the Death of a Loved one?
Sadhguru delves into the essential nature of grief. In response to a question, "Having recently lost a near and dear one, how does one cope with the grief and distress associated with it?", Sadhguru tells us that grief is about incompleteness. Grief can happen even without someone dying. But, when someone dies, it leaves a vacuum in your life. This feeling of incompleteness is the source of grief.
August 26, 2020
10 min read
How To Deal With Expectations In a Relationship?
In many ways, the quality of relationship one holds, determines their quality of life. Relationships are formed to fulfill various needs - physical, psychological, emotional, social, financial... Sadhguru says - "The needs within a human being have risen because there is a certain sense of incompleteness and people are forming relationships to experience a certain sense of completeness within themselves". This is the source of expectations. Sadhguru says - "If you are happy by your own nature, the relationships will become a means for you to express your happiness not to seek happiness."
March 23, 2020
6 min read
I Face a Lot of Friction – What to Do?
Most people - when something fails - point fingers at others. If they don't find anyone to blame, they blame god, or even look for metaphysical reasons! It's important to understand, that if something is not working, it means it's not done well. If you are facing friction everywhere, obviously it means something is not right with you. You are the sandpaper! Sadhguru provides a simple ways to reduce friction in your life. And, of course if you meet 'sandpapers', you need some tact to handle them. This is a social skill which you need to develop!
May 6, 2019
3 min read
Are Marriages made in heaven?
Does a perfect companion exists and has God already chosen the 'right' person already for you? People may seek a mate for physical, mental or emotional reasons- but it will be wise to recognise the limitations that exists between relationships and truly understand what 'Love' is. A 'Soul', which is complete and boundless does not need a mate. Sadhguru looks at the whole idea of 'Soulmate', love and why people come together.
February 14, 2019
3 min read
Why Do We Form Families?
Why do some families turn out beautiful and other ugly? Sadhguru tells us that family is not about duty, it is not about dependence - rather it is a kind of partnership where both partners are constantly concerned about the other persons wellbeing. Above all it is essential for the nurturing, training and molding of a child.
December 2, 2018
4 min read
Can Jealousy Be Used As A Motivator?
If a dog to run behind you, or your tail needs to be set on fire - for you to run fast - that's not a pleasant way to run! Of course you need to run fast, but it is equally important that your experience of running fast is pleasant. So, running is not the only important thing, how you experience it, and what comes out of your running is equally important.
October 15, 2018
3 min read
Why divorce is so painful and how to deal with it?
In this article, Sadhguru delves deep into what causes relationships to…
March 25, 2021
11 min read
Love – Decoded! Is Love a need? Is unconditional love possible?
This is a wonderful article in which Sadhguru explains what 'love'…
November 20, 2020
13 min read
How to Deal with the Death of a Loved one?
Sadhguru delves into the essential nature of grief. In response to…
August 26, 2020
10 min read
How To Deal With Expectations In a Relationship?
In many ways, the quality of relationship one holds, determines their…
March 23, 2020
6 min read
I Face a Lot of Friction – What to Do?
Most people - when something fails - point fingers at others.…
May 6, 2019
3 min read
Are Marriages made in heaven?
Does a perfect companion exists and has God already chosen the…
February 14, 2019
3 min read
Why Do We Form Families?
Why do some families turn out beautiful and other ugly? Sadhguru…
December 2, 2018
4 min read
Can Jealousy Be Used As A Motivator?
If a dog to run behind you, or your tail needs…
October 15, 2018
3 min read
Quotes
Collections