It all depends what is your idea of love first of all. If you fell in love with one woman, one bird, one ant, one tree, and something, then your love is not driven by anything. You’re just falling in love. If continuously you’re falling in love only with women, that means your love is driven by your hormones. You better understand that. So, what is driven by something, you want to label it as love. It is fine. I’m are not saying there is no love at all, there is.
But what is true, and what is not true, is not something that you decide because of this, you know… because of what happened or what did not happen. It is a question of how you felt. Whether it ended up in marriage, then you realise it was not love. Or it did not end that way, and you thought it was true love which was never realised. It’s up to you how you want to handle it.
So if love is true, it will happen without an object. If it’s really genuine true love, what it means is, you have made your emotions very pleasant.
But essentially what love means is: if your physical body becomes very pleasant, generally we call this health and pleasure. If your mind becomes very pleasant, we call this peace and joy. If your emotions become very pleasant, we call this love and compassion. If your life energies become very pleasant, we call this blissfulness and ecstasy. So what you’re referring to as love is a certain moment of pleasantness.
Now you believe somebody caused it in you. Maybe somebody did trigger it in you, somebody did stimulate that in you, or inspire that in you. But essentially it is your emotions turning very pleasant, which you call as love. So if love is true, it will happen without an object. If it’s really genuine true love, what it means is, you have made your emotions very pleasant. Whether a man is here, or a woman is here, or a tree is here, ant is here, elephant is here, is not the point. You’ve just made your emotions pleasant. Everything that you behold, you have a certain pleasantness towards it, that is love. Now this continuously, one two three four five, all are women – it’s driven by hormones. Nothing, I’m not saying is anything wrong with it, but you must understand the limitation of it.
So, if it ends up in a permanent bond in the form of marriage, or whatever, then you think it’s successful. If it did not, you think it’s a failure. It need not be so. I would be happy if you fell in love with the three billion women, and don’t leave the other three billion men also.
If you fell in love with three billion women, it wouldn’t be hormonal. It would be just love. I’m in love with all the women in the world, and the men also, the ants also, and the very soil that I walk upon, and the very tree under which we are sitting right now. Whatever you behold, you have pleasant emotion towards that – is love. And love is not about somebody. It’s about you being pleasant, truly pleasant.
You must constantly fall in love with everything and nothing.
And this is right, wrong, this that is not the thing. It is an intelligent way to exist. There is sufficient unpleasantness in the world. However carefully you walk, you will step into something or the other. When this is so, you don’t have to manufacture your own unpleasantness within you. Only three times in your life if you loved, I think you are a misfortune, because the rest of the time you have not known that pleasantness within you. Every moment of your life you must know the pleasantness. You must constantly fall in love with everything and nothing. Women also included, what’s the problem with them. Because you cannot tie a bond with three billion women, you choose one. One is convenient. If you marry five, then you will find it’s very inconvenient. Yes!
One is convenient, and above all the reason why you tie a bond with somebody is – at least with one person in your whole life, you want somebody with whom there’s no holds barred. If you approach a new person, always there is a little bit of, you know, there’s a little bit of war and games happening. War games are happening, with a new person. With one person you want to relax, where you don’t have to play games. At least with one person, you want to be in total relaxation. That’s the idea. Why you want at least one person in that is, still you have not reached a point where you are simply relaxed by yourself, with life itself. Because you are unable to relax with the whole manifestation of life around you, the million manifestations of life around you totally, at least with one person you want to find that. That’s the idea, of finding a bond, or building a bond with that.
So people who look beyond that, are people, they don’t value relaxing with one person because now they’re able to relax with just about anything. They are totally at ease with everything in existence. Now they don’t find the need to make a bond, where only at one place some relaxation happens. Rest of the place you are war like, always trying to protect yourself. One place where you can keep your defence mechanism down, because only when you keep your defence mechanism down, something beautiful can happen within you. And the need to protect yourself is gone.
So the idea of forming a unit of family, and the larger identities of community, nation and whatever else, is simply to find a space where you can keep your defence mechanism down, and just be in a certain sense of ease. Because only in that ease, the other possibility you find expression. Otherwise you will be just like an animal, constantly trying to survive and preserve yourself. So love is seen as a possibility to go beyond that instinct of self-preservation, where you’re not trying to preserve yourself, you’re trying to offer yourself to something, or somebody.
For that you don’t need a person. You can just do it simply with life