Regina Cassandra: I think a lot of kids and, having grown up as well, there have been a lot of questions in my head in terms of myself, my capabilities and my abilities. Something called ‘self-doubt’ is definitely something that has been an issue that I have probably faced and overcome. But, I would also like to know what your view on this is. How does one overcome self-doubt? Especially as a youngster.
Sadhguru: Namaskaram Regina. I’m glad you’re growing up. I know everybody is telling you, “Believe in yourself, believe in yourself.” I would say, please doubt yourself. Whatever is going right or wrong in your life, first thing is to see maybe it’s me who caused this. Look at it carefully. If it’s not you, then look at others. The so-called confident idiots are stepping on everybody’s everything, and walking.
Self-belief, or any kind of belief will bring you confidence without clarity
Self-belief, or any kind of belief will bring you confidence without clarity. The level of damage that’s happened to this planet, and to life around us, everything is because of confidence without clarity. If you had little doubt about what you’re doing, you would think 10 times before you do something, isn’t it? And that would be a sensible world. I want everybody to have some self-doubt.
Anyway, coming to physiological and psychological growth. When we say growing up, there are many dimensions to a human being. There’s physiological growth, there’s psychological growth, there is emotional and other dimensions of growth in a human being. Most of the time, we measure growth physiologically and the next possibility is psychologically. The body is a very tangible element. So it grows at a certain pace. In some people it’s mildly faster or slower, but it grows at a certain pace.
But, the psychological dimension of who you are is not such a tangible process. It’s an intangible process, more flexible, more mobile, or nebulous. So it should be able to grow well ahead of your physiological process.
Growth pangs… is mainly because their psychological growth is not ahead of their physiological growth
If growth pangs, if people are having, it is mainly because their psychological growth is not one step, at least, ahead of their physiological growth. So, though the same things have happened to trillions of people on this planet forever, still it looks like it’s happening for the first time in the universe, and they’re surprised, and they’re shocked and many things. This is just because their psychological growth is behind their physiological growth. This is very important.
In a society, we create a situation where every child is psychologically at least one step ahead of their physiological growth. If you do this, just this one thing in your life, you will see, whether it is adolescence, or middle age, or old age, you will not be surprised by anything. You know how to deal with it, you know how to handle it. And there’ll be no shocks and upheavals in your life for simple processes.
Right now people are living in such a way that, toddlers are having diaper problems, teenagers are having hormonal issues, middle aged people are having… what is that, middle-age crisis, old age, of course people are suffering. Tell me one dimension of life people are not seeing as a problem. Life is not a problem. Life is a certain process. The question is only, have you prepared yourself for the process or not!