When to ‘break up’?

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Relationships

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Is it ok to use ‘dating apps’?

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Romance means, that you are looking at the beautiful side of life. Human relationships are still need based. Physical needs, psychological needs, emotional needs, social needs, financial needs, variety of needs are there. To fulfil those needs, people come together. Now whether this coming together is a 'deal', or because of a deep sense of love and surrender, that is what you need to see.

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When to ‘break up’?

The following is an unedited transcript of Sadhguru's video. For better readability, breaks and highlights have been added by the editors.

We are looking at everything – with an expiry date for everything. That includes human relationships. See, there are various types of relationships. But, today, you are in Mumbai, and you are using the word ‘relationship’, as American’s use it, that it has to be a body based relationship. It need not be.

We have variety of relationships. We have business relationships. We have family relationships. We have friends. We have other kinds of relationships, isn’t it?

We are looking at everything – with an expiry date for everything

First of all, romance means, that you are looking at the beautiful side of life, essentially. It’s romantic to watch the sunset, because most people are watching this phone screen – sunset also they watch it there later in the night. So, essentially romance means, you are looking at the beautiful aspects of life. So, just because a man and woman are together, it doesn’t mean there is romance happening.

Because, human relationships are still need based. Physical needs, psychological needs, emotional needs, social needs, financial needs, variety of needs are there. To fulfil those needs, people come together. But, this particular relationship, which you call as romantic relationship, a whole lot of time there is no romance there, just compulsions being fulfilled. There are compulsive things happening, which need to be addressed.

Human relationships are still need based. Physical needs, psychological needs, emotional needs, social needs, financial needs, variety of needs are there

So, some people address their compulsions gracefully. Some people address it in ugly ways, in graceless ways. Where your emotions are involved, where your body is involved – thought is different. See with thought – I can play with you right now, next moment I can withdraw – it’s very agile. But, once emotion and body plays, the imprint of that within you is much deeper than thought process, isn’t it so?

So, if you just take this much – that once you really meet somebody and you feel, this is a good person for me. And I like this, and I’m drawn. Without wanting to think about them, you are thinking about them. When you look at the textbook, their face appears. You look at the cinema, their face appears. If such a thing is happening, you should not make a deal. You should surrender to that. Because, sweetness of emotion is the best thing that can happen to you. You can call it whatever you want.

When you are emotionally feeling sweet, you have the best deal with life

When you are emotionally feeling sweet, you have the best deal with life. Don’t give that up, for somebody who is a little prettier, or richer, or stronger, or this, or that. You will be making an ass out of yourself.

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