A 92 year old man went to his doctor for a full medical checkup. The doctor checked him up and he said – hey old boy, for your age you are doing great. Everything is just fine with you. But the man asked – but doctor what about my sex life! So, the doctor asked – thinking about it, or dreaming about it? The more you try not to think about something, the more you will think about it – this is the nature of the mind.
So there are many reasons why one indulges in sex. For some, it is just pleasure. For some, it is a way of building this bond and companionship, otherwise people feel they’re going away from each other. They may be just fine – but lot of people, it is psyched in their mind that if they’re not sexually involved, they’re actually moving away. Not true.
You can be very close to somebody and need not be involved in any physical manner, isn’t it? But, societies are psyching. Especially in this part of the world, people are hugely psyched, if there’s no sexuality you don’t really have a relationship. In fact, the word relationship – it’s only, it took me some time to understand that here – if you say a relationship, you’re supposed to understand it’s sex-based relationship. Nothing else is a relationship. I can have a very strong relationship with you, and not be concerned about your body, isn’t it? I may not be drawn to your body in any way, but I can have a very powerful relationship with you. But all those possibilities are completely discounted.
All dimensions of yoga, one way or the other, you’re ultimately trying to activate the pineal
A relationship means you must be in some way physically involved. Man-woman, Or man-man, woman-woman – whatever you like. Essentially it’s body-based. What kind of body, is individual choices. But essentially it is body-based. This has happened because somewhere, our identification with the body has gone beyond normal levels of identity. It is excessive identification with the body. That is why body-based relationships have become the crux of the society. One who is too identified with your physical body, naturally is sex-driven. Because, that is the highest thing that he knows.
There are ways we can make you find something which is far bigger than this. Once you taste something better, I don’t have to tell you give this up, or give that up. It’ll anyway fall of, isn’t it? There are ways to do certain sadhana which is more intense than sexuality, which is more ecstatic than sexuality. On one level, if you look at it – all dimensions of yoga, one way or the other, you’re ultimately trying to activate the pineal. Because once it begins its secretion, everything about you becomes sweet and beautiful. It creates a whole inner pleasure, which makes all the outer pleasures look like kindergarten stuff. That’s the reason yogis are just sitting with eyes closed. Not because they’re against pleasure, they’re against small pleasures. That’s all.
The Shambhavi stimulates the pineal secretion in a big way
So, the Shambhavi – one thing that’s happening is, it stimulates the pineal secretion in a big way. Which leaves you drenched in a certain level of sweetness throughout the day. It just leaves you in a certain state of ecstasy and blissfulness because the pineal gland is active. This is one aspect of your physiology which is very close to your consciousness. Rest of the physiology is about survival. But, pineal gland is one aspect of your physiology which is very, very close to transcending the physical.
In the yogic traditions, this sweetness is referred to as Amruta, or the Ambrosia, or the Elixir of life. One drop, if it comes into the system, suddenly the whole system just cools down. The whole system is lubricated, functions at ease. The desperation in the system is gone. The desperation in the mind is gone. So, Ambrosia means, you found your own pleasure. If you’re extremely joyful within yourself, you found the Amruta within yourself, you’re extremely… you’re in an extreme state of pleasantness. Now, being with people, is not anymore about squeezing pleasure out of them. Being with people is just out of… just being with them. Only now you’re truly capable of love. Otherwise, it is just an open sesame trick.
I love you, means – whether they believe you or not, for that moment they make themselves believe you. Because, they’re also in need of something, you’re also in need of something. Isn’t it? It’s a, it’s like a, you know, Alibaba and the 40… Open sesame means, it opens. This is just like, I love you means many things open up. Now, by doing this – I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, that’s the way people conduct their lives, there’s nothing to it – but by doing this, the true possibility of knowing an intense sense of love within you, is lost. You’re here, constantly looking, what can I get out of this person, what can I get out of that person. This is a con job. It’s called a love affair. But it’s a con job. But if you’re extremely ecstatic by yourself, when you’re being with people, it’s about sharing your ecstasy. It is about, if they’re not touched by it, somehow to touch them with it, rather than seeing what you can squeeze out of them. The whole fundamentals of your life will change.
Does sexual indulgence restrict the secretion of Amrutha?
Yes and no. In the sense, it is not the sexuality which limits it. But it is the excessive identity with the physicality, which limits it. So, it is not sexuality per se which becomes the barrier, but the attachment it creates to the physicality, which definitely becomes the barrier. This question is coming from certain amount of bits and pieces, the gossip that you have heard about how you could assimilate your own semen and raise it up to your higher possibility. Yes, it is true. At the same time, it is not because of abstinence that one does it. It is because of internalising your energies, that you do it. It is not simply that somebody is abstaining from sex, and suddenly his energies are all organised and it’s going up. It’s not true.
If your energies get organised and begin to move up, the need for sexuality may evaporate for you
If your energies get organised and begin to move up, the need for sexuality may evaporate for you. But it doesn’t leave you incapable. It doesn’t leave you impotent. But the need is gone. It is just no more a compulsive thing. And, it is not just this one thing. All compulsiveness is lost. Essentially, most of the sexuality that’s happening on the planet is happening because of a certain compulsiveness, isn’t it? It’s a compulsive drive. When you become conscious, when all compulsiveness disappears, this also disappears. It is just that because people are so body-oriented, they’re always thinking, spirituality versus sexuality. They’re not connected. They’re not connected, one is of the body, another is of a different dimension.
It is simply because people are so – because religions of the world, moral schools and the ethical schools have been always speaking against it – it has become such a big issue in people’s minds, they think the only way to know something beyond is, you must be away from this. Because somewhere, you’re not able to accept the simple biology of a human being. Which is a tragedy, that you cannot accept the simple biology. You either have to celebrate it, or you have to push it down the drain. Both are not needed. You can look at it for the limitation that it is, and for the possibility that it is.
So, if because of the impurity of sex, your spirituality is going to get disturbed – I want you to know that your very birth is impure. When you come from such an impure birth, where is the possibility for you? There is no possibility for you. Only if you fell from somewhere else, if the stork dropped you – there is some possibility of you becoming spiritual. If your mother had a normal birth, you have no possibility!
A six year old girl came home one day from school, and asked – mama, how was I born? The mother was embarrassed. She said – a stork dropped you. She said – ok. She noted down. ‘Mama, how were you born?’, ‘a stork dropped me too.’, ‘mama, how was grandmama born?’, ‘a stork dropped her too.’ Then the girl became serious, and she sat down and started writing something in her homework. Then the mother was feeling uncomfortable – she finished her cooking, and then, the girl had finished her homework and left the book there, she went and read. So the essay was about the ‘family tree’. So, the girl had written – for three generations in my family, nobody had a natural birth.
So, because of absurd ideas – either we exaggerate something, or we try to unnecessarily play it down. It has a certain role in your life. If you make it too big, you will become perverted in your head. If you try to obliterate it, you will become even more perverted in your mind. After all – now I’m speaking, this is a kind of energy. You are looking at me, this is a kind of energy. You are listening to me, this is a kind of energy. These are different expressions of the same life energy, isn’t it?
Now sexuality is also another expression of the same energy. Now, one has to decide – how much of his energy, in which direction, he wants to send it. Because after all, you are a limited amount of energy, isn’t it? See, it’s just like – you have an income, let’s say you have $5,000 a month. How much for the house rent, how much for eating, how much for schooling, how much just for fun, how much for vacation – you apportion, isn’t it? Tomorrow morning you got your salary, in the evening you went out and blew it up. Now the next month is going to be trouble, isn’t it? Of course you have a credit card, but…
Everything in your life – if you are handling your life sensibly – everything in your life is apportioned according to your understanding, and your need, your capability, isn’t it so? Yes! Your money, time, energy – isn’t everything allotted the way you like to arrange it? This is also the same thing. How much of it – first of all do you need it? Or are you doing it because of socially… you are psyched. If there is a need – if I ask you to stop it, you will become perverted. Because it will all happen in your head. If somebody is telling you – you have to do it. If you don’t do it, you are not normal – another kind of perversion will come. Both are not needed.
After all you are not going after a man or a woman. You are going after a certain level of pleasantness. So, once you experience a certain level of pleasantness, won’t you like to dig deeper into this? Because, whatever pleasantness happened – maybe you used the other person, but the pleasantness happened within you. Right? So, suppose… Anyway the pleasantness is happening within you, the other person is just a key to open this. Won’t you like the key in your own hands? Yes! That if you sit like this [eyes closed], you are on full scale [ecstatic]. You don’t need anybody.
As long as your way of being, your sense of pleasure and joy is dependent on other person, you will always have a complaint
See, anything, anything in your life – either for pleasure, money, love, this, that, it doesn’t matter what, for whatever – the moment you become dependent on the other person… Nobody on this planet is truly reliable. Isn’t it? I keep hearing these complaints all over. Some people, generally women, keep complaining – their husbands are excessively physical. Some women constantly complaining – he doesn’t lay a finger upon me. Whatever happens, it’s a problem. Because it will never happen exactly the way you want it. As long as another person is involved, nothing will ever happen 100% the way you want it, isn’t it so? Yes or no? It never will. It doesn’t matter if you get married to your God. It still won’t happen. As long as your way of being, your sense of pleasure and joy is dependent on other person, you will always have a complaint. Doesn’t matter how wonderful the other person is.
So, in this context, people might have talked about celibacy. Because they said – take some time off. Because to extract pleasure out of somebody, you have to play any number of tricks. It doesn’t happen simply. This is called as courting. Once you go to the court, the judgement day will come. It takes – enormous amount of time, effort, energy, and all kinds of other things, frustrations, jealousies, problems – everything attached to it. So, somebody said – take time off from those things, and see if this could be internally generated, and then being with people will become more out of your love than out of your need. Which is definitely a better way to be with people, isn’t it? Which is definitely a better way of honouring another human being, sin’t it so? Give this [self] a little more attention. Instead of paying attention to that one [pointing to someone], and that one [pointing to someone], and that one [pointing to someone] – give this one [self] a little more attention. It will produce much more pleasure than any other one can produce for you.