Why is change in life so difficult?

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Be Inspired / Mental Health / Relationships

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Questioner: Why is change in life so difficult? When I was younger, I was excited by change, I would look forward to it, was happy when it happened. As I'm growing older, I try to avoid it as much as possible. Not able to cope when it happens. Is there something like an appropriate response to change?

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Why is change in life so difficult?

The following is an unedited transcript of Sadhguru's video. For better readability, breaks and highlights have been added by the editors.

Questioner: Why is change in life so difficult? When I was younger, I was excited by change, I would look forward to it, was happy when it happened. As I’m growing older, I try to avoid it as much as possible. Not able to cope when it happens.

Sadhguru: It all depends who is initiating the change!

Questioner: Maybe! But, is there something like an appropriate response to change?

Sadhguru: One reason why change is becoming difficult as you get older is – you have found cocoons of comfort. There are many comfort zones you created. Any disturbance of that, you’re disturbed now. When you were young, you were not looking for comfort, you were looking for life. Now you’re not looking for life, you’re looking for comfort. Safety!

One reason why change is becoming difficult as you get older is – you have found cocoons of comfort

See, when you were 16, 18 – you had wild dreams as to what you want to do with your life. By the time you became 25, you cut down all the frills, and thought this is all not practical, I am becoming practical now. All that happened is you were becoming a coward. But you said, I’m becoming practical and cut down many things and said – if I get a job, if I earn my living, this, this, this – is okay. By the time you’re 35, you’re thinking, if I don’t get into any trouble that’s enough. You’re not looking forward to anything great happening. If I don’t get into trouble, that’s enough. But that’s when you start getting into trouble.

So you are not looking at life with zest. You’re looking at life as safety. The more security oriented you are, the more disturbed you will be, with every change that happens in your life. The essence of physical existence is change, isn’t it? Isn’t it so? Everything is changing. Is there anything that’s not changing? Everything in the existence is changing, isn’t it? The physical existence is constantly changing. The very essence of physical reality is change. Nothing is constant. Even the so-called static states are dynamic in nature – everything is changing. So if you resist change, you’re resisting life.

There is nothing that is not changing

If you want an unchanging life, there’s one beautiful place where nothing changes – that’s your grave. Either you must go to your grave or you must get enlightened, if you don’t want change. Then somewhere inside everything is same. But otherwise, as long as you’re a part of the physical process of the existence, everything is change. There is nothing that is not changing. See this moment, you’re inhaling. Next moment, you’re exhaling. It’s change, isn’t it? If you don’t want change, you stop it. So when you resist change, you must understand you’re resisting the very process of life. Not just your life, you’re resisting the very fundamental process of life. Invariably you will invite all kinds of suffering.

If you are living, and you want to be dead – you will ask for trouble, isn’t it? You must be living. When you are living, you must live totally. If you want to die, you must do that efficiently. This inefficient ways of killing yourself, really – unhappiness and depression are inefficient ways of killing yourself, isn’t it so? At least be efficient. I can give you 10 different ways to die. Anyway Hussain Sagar [lake] is there – still water in it!

Once you resist change, you are resisting the whole process of life

So, you need to understand this – once you resist change, you are resisting the whole process of life. And you will create unnecessary suffering. So, once you resist change depression is a natural process. Frustration – when change happens, frustration, depression. Frustration and depression are…

On a certain day, the devil decided to retire. Because he is retiring, he decided to put all the tools of his trade for a garage sale. So, he opened up discount sale – all the devil’s tools. There is a huge rush. There are all kinds of things – anger, hatred, jealousy, this one, that one, everything on the table. All of you people went and bought it up in no time. Everything was sold out in the first hour, all his tools. The whole humanity has bought it, isn’t it? But he had still one more bag.

And… what’s your name? Leena.

Leena went and asked the devil, what’s in that bag? Isn’t that for sale? He said – no, no. These are the prized tools – just as souvenirs, I want to keep them, because they have worked best to do my job. Leena said – no, I want it please. Won’t you sell that! Devil said – no, no, no. These two tools that I have in this bag, they have worked so wonderfully well in my whole career, that I would like to keep them as my souvenirs. Once Leena said…many other people joined behind her. And please ‘put it on sale’, ‘put it on sale’, ‘put it on sale’.

Then the devil pulled out and said ok. If you are giving a good price, let me put it on sale. Then he pulled out ‘frustration’ and ‘depression’ and put it on table. These two are the best of the devil’s tools. If you want to destroy your life, frustration – you start with frustration. Develop into depression. You are there. There is nothing worse than that. You will work against yourself. And, the moment you resist change – frustration is natural. Once frustration comes, it will naturally evolve into depression. So, you put it on sale!

 

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