Questioner: So, the first question we had was – nobody goes through life unscathed. Everybody has had a past experience with a person or a situation that left a permanent scar on them, such that whenever we are reminded of this, the sadness or loneliness or pain associated with the memory comes back, regardless of how much time has passed. Is there truly a way for us to move on from and let go of the things that have hurt us in the past, such that they have no substantial emotional effects on us? And if not, how can we heal ourselves from this past pain?
Sadhguru: When you say everybody, that’s a very sweeping statement. It’s not true with everybody. Unfortunately, a lot of people are getting into that space. Fortunately, not everybody. I’m not in the group. This doesn’t mean that everything in my life happens just the way I want it. No. Very few things happen the way I want it.
I want you to understand this – if you keep the scope of your life very limited, let’s say just your education or your profession or your family, then maybe ninety percent of things happen your way, ten percent of the things don’t happen your way. But if you expand your activity globally, then you will see only ten percent happens your way, ninety percent doesn’t happen your way. So, if you are the freaking kind, then you will break yourself down.
So, one thing we need to understand is that, if mentally, emotionally we are freaking out on something or the other – I want you to understand, there is no complexities to this to make it very simple – you are freaking whenever things don’t happen, the way you think they should happen. Hello, do you understand this? Your only problem with life is, it’s not happening the way you think it should happen. Hello? That’s all. If it is not happening the way you think it should happen, maybe it is happening somebody else’s way, and somebody else is happy. Yes or no?
And most of the people in the same breath, they say, “They believe in God.” So maybe it’s happening his [looking up] way. So essentially, it’s not happening the way you think it should happen. But look at the way you’re thinking – two years ago how you’re thinking, and today how you’re thinking, is it the same? No. So, you are glad those things didn’t happen. But it takes two years to realize that, that I’m glad those things didn’t happen. A whole lot of things don’t happen. So, what! The important thing is, how profound and how exuberant is your experience of life?
Life is not that it must happen your way. If it happens your way, what does it mean? What is your way? Right now, what you know, from that you concoct something which you call “This is my way,” isn’t it? Do you know everything in the universe? No. Whatever we may know, it is still very little, isn’t it so? Hello? Whatever we may know, it is still very, very little. From this we’re expecting something should happen. You must be glad something you do not know happened. Something that you did not expect, happened. This means life is happening to you.
My blessing usually for people is “let something happen in your life, that you could not dream of.” That means your dream should not come true, that’s all I’m saying. Something that you could not dream of that must happen, that means you’re living a fabulous life. But if something new happens that you did not think of, you will freak – don’t do that, don’t do that. New things are happening. Something that you did not expect is happening – you should ride on that.
See there is only two ways, life has its waves. If you have learnt to ride the wave – No, in Canada, you cannot ride it’s too cold. Suppose you were in California, and you were riding the waves, you’re a wave rider – your dream is a tsunami one day. Hello? Yes or no? If you’re really good at riding the wave, what are you looking for, the biggest wave possible? But if you never learned how to ride, then you get crushed by the waves. Something wrong with the waves? No, you did not make yourself fit for life. That is what is wrong. Nothing wrong with life, it’s happening. Are you fit for this world or not? This is happening all the time.
You know, we are a volunteer organization. This is my lamentation – okay, please listen to me a little bit. Millions of volunteers, lots of things happening around the world, big movements. But none of them are qualified for the job, just whoever comes fills the space. I keep them up, keep them up, keep them up, with enthusiasm and inspiration endlessly. But they don’t know what to do. They’re enthusiastic. You know, enthusiasm without direction, how much trouble it is to manage. And you cannot fire them because they’re volunteers. You didn’t hire them to fire them, first of all.
So, this will be happening all the time, somebody comes up to me and, “Sadhguru I can’t work with this person, he is so terrible. She is horrible, she is that.” I say, “See the world is full of such horrible people only.” If you think, if you yeah, yeah – if you want to find something horrible, you can find something horrible in everybody. Just in everybody, without exception. Yes or no? If you think what you’re doing is significant, you learn to work with such horrible people. If you think what you’re doing is very significant. But if you want to work with ideal people, you must go to heaven, and today.
So, at this stage in your life, young people don’t produce a list of complaints about what’s wrong. Produce a list of solutions for me, let me see – to your life and everybody’s life around you. That will be a forward moment. If you invest on your problems, you will see everything in the universe is a problem, believe me. Tell me one person here, who is not a problem in some way. If you encounter them the wrong way, each one of them is a problem, isn’t it? Hello? So, it is your skill in life that you approach them, the solution end of them, not the problem end of them. Yes. If you go on hitting people on their problem end you will have endless problems in your life, because everybody is capable of trouble – everybody. Yes or no? Hello?
Have you found one person who will not trouble if you touch them the wrong way? You found somebody like that? If you touch the trouble spot in them, everybody is a problem, isn’t it? So, you have to learn how to touch the solution part of them, not the trouble part of them. This goes with situations, this goes with people, this goes with every aspect of life.